Messages

VCs.

In like Flint for me.

Dan Abnett.

"Novelty carols on mobile phones"

These people have no regard for the suffering of there fellow humans and should be summarily executed with a cannon loaded with their own shit.

And people wonder why I don't like Christmas..

Way to go Doug!

Christmas is stress, loneliness, debt, broken relationships, a twisted parody of itself brought about by consumerism.

Never mind the decorations, what about getting forced to take holidays at the coldest, darkest, shitty-est time of year. Rub it in whydontcha.

There, I feel better already.

Foreign puns are...well...foreign to me.
Please provide example with explanation, foot notes, cultural references, literary criticism.        

However, the Asterix strips are still streets ahead here.

How can you better Chief Whosmoralsarelastix for a name?

At least I think that's what it was.

Traktorfactori was inspired but to follow it up with (if memory serves) Markimarkov and Riboflavin as old man Traktorfactori's replacements was just sublime.

It's that icon. You can't look at it without hearing Terry Scott saying "Crumbs Chief", hence the male association.

Ta Auntie, I was a bit baffled by the not being able to post thing. I thought it was the little blue men inside my PC just being lazy awkward little shits.

And by the way,

Should I go for the red curtains or the green ones?

Is it ever polite to fart in public?

Should I kiss on a first date?

I'm with you on this one JK. There's nowt wrong with a grey square in my book.

And how come I can't post to the Lets Set a Record Thread with three killer jokes. I smell conspiracy.

Nae luck jp, we don't do the marching on London thing no more. Not since youse cheating Southerners switched from swords to heavy calibre guns.

Us wily Scots infiltrate by stealth now until we occupy all positions of power then set our own agenda.

Don't believe me? How come we've got our own parliament and get to sit in yours as well. How come so many senior people in your government  are Scots. How come we look after your nukes for you at Faslane.

How come there's so many of us on this board. One morning you'll wake up with a raw haggis in your bed. Time to get scared.

I was right the first time. It is getting good. It's turning into a Carry On film in print.

Daft plot, mild titilation, one-liners.
If you sit  in a quiet room and put your ear really close to the page you can just about hear Sid James laughing. Neyerharharharhar.

That'll be a no then.

I better try reading it when I haven't got a drink in me.

Well it is at the moment, despite the daft plot.
Either that or Tharg is coating the pages with some wierd alien happy drug that rubs off on your fingers. Or whatever part of your bod you use to turn the pages. Don't write in about how you turn your pages, I don't want to know this early in the morning.