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results of firworkbeserkdisplay ?

well it was armagedon vietnam nuke tastic, i was in a funny funnnnny mood, ( last two years i lit the fireworks with the deceased ), Couldnt be arsed people, so was glad to be away from the crowds & on the beach where i could whoop & swear as much as i liked, THe Bonfire was terrifying, call me morbid, but i always worry about all those witches they burnt, but a fire that size, would kill ye pretty fecking quick. the boys did a rather entertaining trick with petrol & it went ;

WHOOOOOOM !  only louder & they ran. then the pall of smoke went up like a fecking mushroom cloud, excellent ! about ?1000 worth of palettes makes a fair heat.

then me n viking went for the total head feck barrage firework effect, with 4 to five ground display at any one time & rockets going left right n centre, cos we had a fantastic location this year we had bags of space to run around spacing the fireworks out, shit was falling on my head , but we have helmets etc on, didnt actually see many of them , as was too busy running & setting the next one off.

The crowd loved it, said it was mind blowing.

i set a few off for my dead pal & whooped to the heavens, smoke noise crazy shit.

The dog shit boy was incredibly careful & polite & little boy sooky voice around me, he musta been warned about my current emotionalism.

Then when most the crowd had gone & we were starting to tidy, we were chucking the burnt firework boxes in the fire ( don't do this at home), i found an unexploded one, the fuse was fucked, so me & collegue was feeling depressed & dangerous after speaking to his recently ex'd bowden bitch wife... we decided to light this fecker with a burning lump of wood... VERY jackass, some others joined in, there we were huddled around this one foot sqare box of explosives puffing & blowing on this glowing brand, til it sparked... BOOOOOOM ! & nearly took two of the lads heads off.. ( i can jump & run faster it seems ), i havent laughed so much in ages. hope no-one was watching, very irresponsible.

then we found half blown ones & chucked them on the fire, spectac.

then we tidied up & dismantled marquees & re distributed flood lights & Jennies for 2 hours, then we got pissed. then i slept for 12 hours.

think we made enough cash for next years display, which we never usually do. we've got glow stix & toffee apples coming out of our ears, anyone want any ? 50p ?

jackass style japes ?

well i am channelling a rage & angst the size of the planet, my little black book of nasty people is rather overcrowded, and i'm in charge of lighting ( okay okay me & the viking bloke are in charge ) of lighting ?1200 of fireoworks tonight..

who shall i save the big one for?  the guy who bought round a dog shit in a bag to the house the afternoon i got the beravment news ?  Anyone who works at Juve-2's school ? my collegue who has done NO work all week whilst i skivvied ? the woman who moaned about the squidgy grapefruit ? anyone whos talked about my tits this week in a derogatory manner ? mmm choices choices..

Queen Explosive-KILL'Em'ALL-Bou.

mmm i love it when total newbies randomly start insulting my tits.

troll for breakfast anyone? i suppose if i didnt have a life o could check out the book reference. but i can't be fucked.

Tankieeeeee ! we have another one for the giant napalm catherine wheel.

HUrraH for Tankies Boobies their judgement is fair !

Logan, BOOT BOOT BOOOOOOT !

If you think that ploy will work as a means of me flashing my fantastic young tits at you , think again, BOOT!
THUMB , WALLUP

I may not be 18 no more, BOOT ! but at least i don't have a beer THUMP! gut.

never EVER WHALLUP ! accused a queen of saggy boobies. CRUNCH !

ahh sod yous all . i'm not playing, i'm off to rule my own kingdom, ...

you wanna see my tits too ?

ha ! you'll have to try harder than that feebs.

mutter mutter king queen arse feck mutter sore looser bastards feck.

bollox, who said this was a democracy? vote what you like, i'm Queen & thats that, and i'm pretty mad right now, so does anybody disagree ?

eh ? anybody wanna question my authoratay?

theres only one thing & one thing only that'll save you all from my malevolent fury & reign of mis-spelt terror, & thats the hugs of a good work-man, so if you want to keep your bollox attached i suggest you either get to work a ploughing those fields peasants, or find me the cutey pie that'll save you all.....

and with no Trout to enforce a flirt ban... WHAA HAAA HAAAAAAA ! ! ! cackle ... coff....sob.



( comic geeks need not apply )

Fecking right plebs.

i may have sold a sword this w/e but i still have five, and theres only one watery tart around here, & thats me.

Slainche mhath Tankie !  who shall we kill first ?

i'm sorry guys, but it has to be me, and since i'm in mourning psychosis, the benign dictatorship thing can go out of the window. I'm afraid the kingdom can go to wrack & ruin while i eat chocolate & drink whisky & randomly kill people. any questions ?

i just watched I robot again, which was pointless as ive seen it & juvey went to bed half wey thru. s'good tho.

then the hall of fame is/was on, i turned it down & left in disgust when our Robbie got the 90's.  i mean , reeeeelly !?

now i know U2 are U2, blahhhdy blahhh, BUT, i realise i havent actually hear an album since like the late 80's. ive never met anyone who bought them post mullet. i have the earlies on vinyl of course...  the singles ive liked, why doesn no-one buy the albums ?
is it cos theyre shite?
or are we all put off my bono being a big eejit ?
are they any good ?
is it something that people only listen to in secret ?

yeah the book has some halarious single women in-jokes in there, even for us tom-boy girlies.

The gruddamn 'englishness', ie camped up queens english for the yank audience, naffs me off in all these brit films.

i was struck when watching parkie ( for first time ever ) the other week , at how lovely charming & gorgeous the real Rennee zzzwhatsit is, she looks NOTHING like bridgit either.  but i didnt fancy her as much as kevin spacey, he really wierds me out, scary/attractive , love the southern accent too ! mmm

mmm tv very rarely...

 But ive just watched "freddie got fingered", and laughed my F*cking A*s off, tho i missed the first bits with the horse...ewwww !

"cheeeeeese helmet, with my Cheeeeese helmet !!"
"daddy would you like some sausages"

some bits are surreal genius, some were "no way !thats too f*cked up !", some cheeeeeesy shit. funny man funny.

i sense the dysfunctional family jargon repotoire will have explanded.
cheeese sandwiches will never be the same.

thanks guys, soz to drag my pathetic ass onto board with this stuff appriciate the support.

max you curious boy, the lung cancer guys is a rep. the other cancer guy is a lorry driver.

This dead guy was a friend, firefighter, crazy nut-job, soul-mate, lover, bad-bastard, i loved him , i hated him, he killed himself. enough questions okay ! ! !

ha reading those titles i'm can see the joke now, that was his sense of humour to a tea, it was probably RIP or such.  

when i'm feeling braver i'll give some a listen. ironically of course, he'll get the funeral nothing like he wanted, because its all such a bloody mess, theres still a chance that it'll be a closed 'family' affair & those of us who really knew him won't be able to go, which is fairly unbearable. i wish i could snap out of it, i never realized how bad grief could be.

alien sex fiend ?  my father ?  wow you almost raised a smile there.

no i've lost someone a wee bit younger than me. Its a bad one. many hugs required.

thanks Tankie, its defo not the first two , but the fact that they are stuck in my head makes me think the actual song title contains words therin. I'm pretty sure its alien sex fiend, can't think what else from that era that sounds like that, the others are too recent & juvey... dunno, this guy was a kraut rock obbsessive, suppose i could always dig out the nutso tapes he did me & we could wail to them...ouch

not yet tho, maybe next year.