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Round these parts it's snowing, but not enough for school to be cancelled, meaning my 15 minute daily trudge felt even longer with all the ice and the wet, and some little turd is probably going to try his luck at throwing a snowball at me, fully aware I'm too meek to go up to him and break his/her/it's nose, and I've got a long car journey to Newcastle when I get home which will probably take even longer and, and.. oh! I just HATE IT...

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As you may know by now, everyone's favourite blonde (now bald), fortysomething psi-judge has gone and got herself in another coma. However, lately we've seen two other psi-judges being great. Both Shakta and Karyn are great, but which is better? This is my opinion(Not yours):

ROUND 1: RECENT EFFECTIVENESS AS A JUDGE.

In "Master of Fear" Shakta managed to overlook at least two explosive devices planted by the Crystal Skull, getting Molino trapped as well. However Karyn kicks ass in the meg and works well with Dredd. I haven't listened to "War Planet" But I'll wager she kicks ass in that as well
KARYN:1 SHAKTA:0

ROUND 2: HAIR

No contest here, Shakta has a boring ponytail, Karyn has lovely thick dreadlocks.
KARYN:2 SHAKTA:0

ROUND 3: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS/TOKENISM

Whilst both represent a "minority"(I'm really sorry about this), I think Shakta just has the edge here. Once again: My opinion, not yours

FINAL RESULT: KARYN: 2 SHAKTA: 1

Any other thoughts?...

Last night on Five I saw Alias for the first time in yonks, I've only seen it in dribs and drabs thanks to shitey scheduling.

Can anyone give me a synopsis of series two so I can figure out what the f**k is happening? I know that the Alliance was destroyed and Sydney's friend was cloned somehow. Last night's episode ended with the death of said clone and Sydney waking up in Hong Kong after inexplicably going missing for three weeks.

Any help?...

What do you do when you're alone and watching T.V./reading/screaming at passing small children isn't an option?(No masturbation jokes)

Here's a list of stuff I do, feel free to add any suggestions:

-Destroy pens in the manner of a small child.

-Shout "Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha" really loudly.

-Cry.

-Dance a sort of jig.

-sit/lie in bizarre positions.

-Fantasise about what life would bve like as a superpowered space mystic.

-Tear up paper.

Any other ideas?...

Dudley, is this you?

If so:
1). We share a similar peurile sense of humour. Well done.

2). We share the same first name. Well done.

3). Youu share your surname with the rambling student councillor on South Park. M'kay?...

Just now I heard someone singing "Boom, boom, boom, boom" by the Vengaboys. I had to slap myself in order to stop myself from joining in.

Once again I ask: Have you ever had experiences similar to this?...

Who here has, like me, never met any other boarders ever?...

P.S. Apologies for the Blunkettesque thread title

T'other day in English I accidently said "Judge Bernard Shaw" instead of "George Bernard Shaw" (If you must know we were reading an extract from "Arms and the Man").

Does anyone else do anything like this? And, more importantly, what would a "Dredd vs. the Fabian Judges" story be like?...

What is the best final episode of a favourite T.V show ever.

My favourite is the last ever episode of Quantum Leap, which I first saw at age 8 and then later at 12, which on both occasions made me cry like a big wet girl(What was the plot again,BTW?)...














Well?...

By now, you will probably all know that Bored of the Rings won 11 awards, and Sean Penn won best actor and everyone put him on a pedestal as the best thing ever, and Charlize Theron cried, and Billy Crystal did a lapdance for Clint Eastwood, and Weinstein walked away with very little.

My question to you is: Was this correct?...

I'm sure at least some of you know the conventional formula, but I'm changing it. Choose 8 of your least favourite songs, 1 least favourite album, 1 least favourite book and 1 anti-luxury

Records:

Barbara Streisand & Kris Kristofferson: "You don't bring me flowers". Sickening ballady mush.

Craig David ft. Sting: "Rise and Fall". On their own they're bad, together, they're suicide inducing.

Stereophonics: "Maybe Tomorrow"

Radiohead: "Talk Show Host". Normally my fave, but this is just wank.

Nickelback: "How you Remind Me"

Phil Collins & Phil Bailey: "Easy Lover"

New Order: "Regret". Purely due to the naff chorus "I would like a place I could call my own, tohave a conversation on the telephone"

Sum 41: Fat Lip

Book: "The Catcher in the Rye" I apologise if this book was important to you in your youth, but it annoys the hell out of me.

Non-luxury: A Novelty Hat

Well?...

I'm a Gemini...

I've decided to resurrect this idea, but with none of Dudley's oppressive Liberal Stalinist rules...

Vote for whoever you like!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the aftermath of Trout's desertion, a number of young pretenders to the throne, and me, have laid claim to his office...

These are the combatants so far:
Me (I will win through passive resistance)
Tank grrl (Evil pirate captain)
Jared (The less said about him the better...)
Mr C. (Captain of the Trout loyalists)

Who's going to win? You decide...

P.S. Side with me, I will bring peace and happiness, not pain and bloodshed...

On Sunday night I dreamt about Book 4 of Books of Invazzzz... At the start there was a massive battle between the Atlantians and the Golamh army, and all the Celts and Atlantians died. Slaine was understandably miffed by this, so he went to a prison where a bunch of old men with beards were all locked up in a single bizarre set of plastic orange stocks. They were all chanting "Barba - Barbabarbarian". It then ended with aforementioned old men killing all the Golamhs, but more was needed, so for some reason he recruited a bunch of WWE wrestlers (Seriously, I'm not making this up). More death ensued, and it ended with Slaine and the beard guys watching a video of the wrestlers flexing their muscles...

Could someone pass this on to Clint Langley to illustrate as it is no doubt far more interesting than whatever rubbish Pat Mills has planned...

All of the shops have put their Easter egg displays up now, so in my head, Easter is almost here. What easter eggs doy you want this year? I've got my heart set on the Maltesers crispy egg. I won't get it though, so I'm going to buy it for myself when I get home...

Tomorrow, it be Pancake day, my 5th favourite day of the year, then it is Lent. For lent, I'm stopping swearing. As a part of my puritanism, I'm even cutting out made-up swear words and blasphemy (I'm not a Christian, by the way). So, here is a list of some of the terms I will be cutting out of my vocabulary...



WARNING: MAY CAUSE OFFENCE...



























Fuck, shit, cunt, bollocks, arse, piss, jizzflakes, dick, twat, twunt, shiv, vuck, drokk, stomm, crem, spug, funt, sneck, fuckingham palace, trousersnake( I'm only using the medical terms for genatalia), Busted, butt...



Er, that's all I can think of, for now...



What are YOU going to give up?...

As I'm sure you all know by now, John Keane had a letter in the meg.

I still hate him, but for a different reason, as he is clearly a pretentious quasi-intellectual who is steadfastly sure of his academic credentials.

Any thoughts?...

Apparently, my English teacher lives just down the road from the daughter of Edmund Blunden (I think that's his name), who was a soldier in World War One who was close friends with the war poet Wilfred Owen, and was the first editor of his poetry after the war. She may be coming in to talk to my class...

Anyone want me to ask her anyhting if she does?...

Dudley, are you P14 after that guy out of Droid Life.
I thought you'd been made redundant, but that would be P45...