Messages

[Prog 2234]

Thank you Richard.

Aaaand we're back for more. Still waiting on our second jab but we're sure she'll call back soon and tell us where our wallet is as well. We're still at Level 3 Letters excitement, so let's dive straight into the sexy sextet that made up the Prog 2234Input page.

First up is Matt 'Spider-Man' Webster of Bradford who spins his sixth yarn in a career that started with a Letter of the Week outing in Prog 1380. He has had three letters in the Prog, all of which have achieved top billing. His 3 Megazine letters in issues 219, 243 and 249 were probably less well received.

His letter here starts with an outright lie when he says it has been "about 20 years since I sent a letter in to 2000ad". The fact is Matt had a letter printed in Prog 1475 in 2006, a mere 15 years ago! We hope Tharg sends the Rigellian hotshots round for that whopper! Matt's letter is a billet-doux to Slaine and he takes us on an unwelcome trip down memory lane where axes are swung and environmental issues discussed. He says he thought 2000ad was a 'specialist fantasy magazine' but he's way off on that front  - look at least two shelves higher Matt!

Old hand Ashley Beeching of Ashford now who celebrates his quarter century with his usual puff piece. To be fair, he does discuss a previous letter and we have to celebrate any letters based debate. Ashley wants to "disagree with (the previous letter writer's) opinion in the strongest terms possible". What's this? 'Points of View'?  He likes the flowery Slaine art and will complain in the strongest terms about anyone who doesn't. Well we're complaining in the strongest terms about Ashley's lack of tolerance and indeed his letter writing style!

Ashley has taken worse from better than us in a long career that began in 1996 in Prog 1008. He has a 14/11 split in favour of the Megazine but can boast only one Letter of the Week from Prog 2222. His latest letter takes him up to position 9th= on the all time Beast chart although he's technically only a top 11 writer due to ties.

Off to the land of the rising sun now in the company of the exotic sounding Chris Doherty of Japan in what may be his first letter - we do have a Chris Doherty from Berkshire on the list who displayed his 'Dredd Hat Photo' in Prog 1681. Could they be one and the same? He falls afoul of the 10,000 mile rule, but we are happy to review his case on receipt of evidence and the £25 fee. Japan is well represented on the Beast database with 73 entries. On closer inspection this is less impressive as most of them were from second rate, er, place, letter writer Floyd Kermode. Our trawling did reveal that letters from Japan were printed in consecutive Progs 1341, 1342 and 1343 from Tim Ashten, Daryl Johnston and Floyd himself. Coincidence or conspiracy? Who cares really?

We hope Chris didn't spend a lot of Yen on posting in his letter which says 'How can brilliant art be unsuited?' Well I wouldn't want Tracy Emin making our bed or having Mondrian paint our cat but at least he has passion and, critically, reads the letters page as his lambasting of poor old punch bag of the week Marcus will attest.

We get  a trip to Whalley World next with our new friend Pete W. Whalley of Lancs. Pete is a new scribe and the first Whalley to see print. Excitingly we have had two writers from Whalley, which is a village in Lancashire...where Pete lives! Could it be Pete Whalley lives in Whalley or is it just Pete from Whalley Lancs. and the letterbot got confused? We suspect the latter. Maybe other Whalley writers Andrew Taylor (Prog 120) and Kenny Kaxter (Prog 634) could ask about for us?

Pete provides the standard 'lost but found' buffet, returning to the Prog to lap up the 'Four Horseman' Dredd saga. Surprised he stayed on. He may just be easy pleased, as he sees 'A Penitent Man' as an "all-time Dredd classic". We agree it was decent, good even, but an all-time classic? It was hardly 'Finger of Suspicion' or even 'Twin Blocks'.

Nearly done as Finchy would say, and to celebrate we have a new entrant to the Beast Halls of Glory. Step forward Paul Tapner of Poole and collect your Beast code of }}} for attaining your tenth letter credit. Paul's road to glory has been long, with his first letter seeing print back in Prog 1109 in 1998. That's over 20 years - or 30 if you go by Matt Webster's metrics. Paul joins three other fledgling writers at the bottom of the Beast ladder in 36th= position. It only up from here Paul!

Paul's letter sets out to be a brave criticism of 'Feral & Foe' but he pulls most of his punches, taking the blame for his not liking the strip on himself. He says it is 'nice' and 'good' but underneath this faint praise is an undercurrent of dislike. He says it is too knowing. We hate it when things are like that, don't you agree loyal reader? He finishes by saying 'there's always one' in self deprecating tones. Don't put yourself down Paul; we couldn't follow it either!

Last up this outing is Grant Smillie Face from Bearsden. Most people would have just said 'Glasgow' but Bearsden people like you to know they're from Bearsden, don't you know. Fur coat, no knickers we bet! Grant may have the post code but he doesn't have the letters with this being his first offering to see print. There aren't that many Smillie people with Robert of Pukstone the only other to bother the scorers as he did  in Prog 218, with his exciting image of a 'Murdering Mantis SD Agent'.

Grant doesn't have anything of his own to offer so he ropes in his daughter to do a cross stitch Dredd based on a Jock cover. We're hoping she gets the prize for this effort. Grant hopes the cross stitch will warm the hear of most squaxx - well if it's going to work on this one you'd better wrap it around our cardio defibrillator .

Overall this was a decent Input age crammed with six letters - one more than normal for those maths boffins out there. The content was varied as was the mix of writers which is the perfect recipe for spam fritters or something.

See you again in 4-5 weeks!

Here we go. I've added this to the Lettersentertainyou thread so that it is preserved there also. Of course feel free to edit as you see fit Jim. Culling it to a dozen words would seem reasonable! Cheers.


It was a sad day at Beast Towers when we learned of the passing of Dave 'Bolt-01' Evans or 'EEE' as he was known on the database.

Dave was in with the DNA of The Letters Beast Database and was part of the initial conception and of the first draft of the project, which eventually catalogued every piece of reader content in our favourite comics. He volunteered to take a batch of 100 Progs and add the details of all letter writers and drawing providers to a spreadsheet that could be plugged into the monster that became the database of all 2000ad reader content published in 2000ad and the Judge Dredd Megazine.

He didn't have to get involved; he was busy with a multitude of other projects, but something about the idea tickled him and appealed to his nerdy fan instincts. His contributions were however greater than some admin work, Dave was a celebrated letter writer in his own right, attaining the lofty rank of 29th=  on the all-time list, with his score of 12 letters printed.

His dozen letters appeared in the years between 2002 and 2008, with 9 gracing the Prog and 3 in the Megazine. He was first sighted in Prog 1316 and followed this up with the Letter of the Week in 2003's Prog 1365. He first appearance in the Megazine was in Meg 251 in 2006 and he had follow up appearances in Megs 259 and 274.

2004 saw two letters in Progs 1383 and 1391 from the Birmingham wordsmith before a single appearance was made in 2006, in Prog 1501. Better was to follow in the next two years when Dave saw 4 letters see print in 2007/08 in Progs 1527, 1547, 1574 and 1592.

12 letters in 7 years is a good hit rate and, had he persevered, he could have been a top ten letter writer. Dave however moved on to other things - creating comics, encouraging writers and artists and rearing his loving family. We're sure it was a tough choice, but probably the correct one!

We have raised a glass to Dave many times and will continue to do so. As long as letters are printed Dave will be remembered as a creator of and as contributor to the 2000ad and Megazine Letters Database or 'The Beast' as it is commonly known. Round these parts anyway.

Rest easy Dave, your writing is done and you will not be forgotten.

It was a sad day at Beast Towers when we learned of the passing of Dave 'Bolt-01' Evans or 'EEE' as he was known on the database.

Dave was in with the DNA of The Letters Beast Database and was part of the initial conception and of the first draft of the project, which eventually catalogued every piece of reader content in our favourite comics. He volunteered to take a batch of 100 Progs and add the details of all letter writers and drawing providers to a spreadsheet that could be plugged into the monster that became the database of all 2000ad reader content published in 2000ad and the Judge Dredd Megazine.

He didn't have to get involved; he was busy with a multitude of other projects, but something about the idea tickled him and appealed to his nerdy fan instincts. His contributions were however greater than some admin work, Dave was a celebrated letter writer in his own right, attaining the lofty rank of 29th=  on the all-time list, with his score of 12 letters printed.

His dozen letters appeared in the years between 2002 and 2008, with 9 gracing the Prog and 3 in the Megazine. He was first sighted in Prog 1316 and followed this up with the Letter of the Week in 2003's Prog 1365. He first appearance in the Megazine was in Meg 251 in 2006 and he had follow up appearances in Megs 259 and 274.

2004 saw two letters in Progs 1383 and 1391 from the Birmingham wordsmith before a single appearance was made in 2006, in Prog 1501. Better was to follow in the next two years when Dave saw 4 letters see print in 2007/08 in Progs 1527, 1547, 1574 and 1592.

12 letters in 7 years is a good hit rate and, had he persevered, he could have been a top ten letter writer. Dave however moved on to other things - creating comics, encouraging writers and artists and rearing his loving family. We're sure it was a tough choice, but probably the correct one!

We have raised a glass to Dave many times and will continue to do so. As long as letters are printed Dave will be remembered as a creator of and as contributor to the 2000ad and Megazine Letters Database or 'The Beast' as it is commonly known. Round these parts anyway.

Rest easy Dave, your writing is done and you will not be forgotten.

Thanks for sorting this Jim - I'm sure it will be a comfort to Dave's family to know how well regarded he was in this community. I was going to include a tribute to Dave in the next Letter review column as he was a 10 plus man, but alas no letters have been printed since his passing. I'll draft something up that I can paste in when Tharg finally gets around to printing some letters again and post it here. His family should know of all his great works!

I have one or two gaps in my diary (read : hunners) so please say the day!

A cracking Prog worthy tribute and, more importantly, worthy of the man himself.

I'm not going to disgrace the thread and this worthy project, by getting out the Microsoft Paint, but I thought I'd leave this photo here, from the 2000ad 40th celebration event in 2017. Dave is seen here with Eamonn Clarke, clearly having a great time.



I can't lay claim to knowing Dave well, but we did have a couple of art comp collaborations which involved me coming up with some random nonsense and Dave executing it far better that I could have envisaged. He was always kind with his time and talents and I remember him offering favourable words on my long gestated script 'Plan : Hit Earth'. So he was a dirty big liar too! Nah, just encouraging and tolerant.

I only met him twice at conventions and we shared a brief laugh and drink each time. Dave knew everyone and everyone was keen to be in his company. The work he has done in the small press community cannot be measured and his passing will leave a gulf that will never be filled.

I'm sorry his light has dimmed but he'll never be forgotten as long as people meet to drink and discuss comics. Condolences to all who were lucky enough to know him better than me and to his family, whom he clearly adored.

I'm sorry Dave, I've been out for the day, with friends, for the first time in a year. I'm a bit pissed but news of your passing has sobered me up somewhat. My sense of loss at your passing is nothing to some who have posted on this tread and certainty nothing compared to that suffered by your family. I just remember a truly kind and giving man who loved what he did and encouraged all others, regardless of their talent. We only met once at the 2000ad 40th and on a couple of art comp collaborations, but you were always tolerant, kind and giving. Rest easy you magnificent bastard.

The more insightful reader would have gleaned from my text that the suggestion was that the puppet dog would indeed extinguish the candles with his trademark spit but such an endeavour would be unwise due to its synthetic nature and the proximity of naked flames.

You should just be happy that I did not bring in the other Frodsham worthies Daniel Craig and Gary Barlow - plenty of equally dubious material to be had out of that pair!

I did allude to the dog spitting out the candles - sorry if that was not clear!

Cheshire /Chowder is a step too far for this punsmith!

Thanks for the 'B' ya dirty great B!

[Prog 2230]

And we're back, one more time and maybe for the last time. Well not if the letters and cardio defibrillators keep on coming. If they do you should have your 'scroll past to keep him happy fun' for days to come.

This outing covers Prog 2230, an Input page that follows the near standard 5 weeks after the previous episode. It's not clear if that's all Tharg, or indeed the readership, can bear or whether it's down publication schedules or even a lack of reader input. Tharg does end the page begging for more letters, but until that long awaited Government enquiry is completed we won't know for sure. At least Boris got a new sofa, that's the important thing.

A little bit of politics there - an unwelcome intrusion into our sci-fi fun that continues into the Letter of the Week which is penned by the old, and possibly claw like, hand of Steve Frame from Caithness. Steve used to go by the name of 'D Reay' which was a nod towards his local nuclear power station Dounreay - and clearly the three eyed fish aren't his only concern. Steve starts with a rant about 'Covid Passports' which he sees a national segregation scheme. C'mon Steve surely you want to know which radioactive local is safe to eat and which should be avoided! Choice is the thing here and we feel that most people would like the choice of going on holiday flight without a plague carrier coughing in their general direction for 8 hours. Steve gives his thoughts on most strips and includes our least favourite phrase (part from 'brace yourself') in 'What's not to like?' - never understood that one.

Steve knows his onions (and glowing parsnips) as this is his 32nd letter to see print and it also extends his letter of the week lead to 3 with his 9 lording it over Watson and Kermode's weedy sixes. Steve has 31 Prog letters and one solitary Meg offering from Meg 284. He was previously sighted in Prog 2180.

Starting in sepia tones before bursting into colour , like that lunchtime Aussie soap, is Martin Sullivan of Ireland. This is Martin's 5th Prog letter and, er, fifth overall. His career started out with a Letter of the Week in 2017's Prog 2014 (not confusing) and he was last seen, prior to this offering, in Prog 2153 in 2019.

Martin's letter is Fantastic! Not that it's any good , he just uses 'fantastic' four times. He should get a thesaurus, a book of words, a similar words guide, a... you get the idea. Like us Martin reads the Dredd and doesn't understand the rest which is fine but we do appreciate it when a writer explains stuff to us. That's fantastic when it happens!

The middle of the page berth is taken up by the souper Michael Chowder, er, Crowder who comes from the Cheshire town of Frodsham. Things must be going well for Michael who lived in Liverpool for his only previous outing in Meg 308 in 2011. Nothing wrong with Liverpool, but Frodsham has a candle shop - that's run by Bob Carolgees! I wonder if they have a means of putting out the candles at night? Probably a snuffer rather than a highly flammable puppet dog , we'd imagine,

Michael is a fan of pod casts and flags a couple that we like - the Mega City Book Club has an especially good one about  Invasion 1984! Just saying. He also likes Space Spinner 2000 which we also like, especially when Fox is pissed. Tharg latches on to promote his own wares in a reply that is nearly as long as the letter it responds to. Well played Verdant One!

Another old stager next in the shape of Craig Grannell of Hants, another 'Top Ten' letter writer. This is Craig's 26th letter to see print and further imbalances his ratio to 22 Prog and 4 Meg. He was last seen in Prog 2172 and this offering takes him up the charts to 9th= place alongside 'not seen in a while - has he better things to do?', Dr Rich Evans.

Craig takes a chance but rolls a six in getting his praise laden Durham Red letter printed. We preferred her in the shower with Ron Reagan, but each to his own. Craig has the shortest letter of the week but we do like them brief and to the point.

Last up is Marcus Willson of Mexborough - mind the two 'L's there. This letter actually corrected a Beast entry as a previous score had been logged as 'Wilson' - or was the Prog wrong? Either way 2:1 says 'Willson so we'll go with that. Actually to save confusion we'll call Marcus 'Tandy' like his namesake from 'Eldorado'. Mar-cuss speaks for the nation when he says it's time to pension off Slaine. It needed saying Mr T and we're glad you did. Tharg however seems incredulous that any one would tire of sword and axe excitement along with some new age gubbins. But they do. T-Mobile does hedge his bets at getting a 4th letter by praising 'Thistlebone'; but it's too little too late for Slade. This was his 3rd (and last) letter with his previous offerings being sighted in Progs 1994 and 2084. He runs the Mexborough letters lodge, lording it over the only other Mex-man to trouble the scorers, David Oxer who was seen in Prog 208, and never again.

Overall a fun offering with two big hitters and no newbies - just how it should be. Until we all die of old age/Covid/radiation poisoning and there's no one left to write in. Still we won't care! We'll be dead.

See you next month for more of the exact same.

A fine podcast on this very book is right HERE!

I thought you were talking about your Greggs app there!

Great achievement and a cracking resource. Chapeau!

[Stowaway]

Stowaway - Shit away more like. I quite fancied the premise of this extra passenger found on board a trip to Mars ala Tintin : Destination Moon , in fact Tintin has several - the Thompsons and [spoiler]that moustached foreign bloke[/spoiler] but I digress.

Strangely they find the unwilling passenger 12 hours out but decide to keep on with the two year trip to Mars and back. No one did a head count before they sealed the doors? Anyway, predictably oxygen becoes an issue - duh! - and terrible decisions have to be made - mostly affecting the plot and dialogue.

The film becomes quest as a handy hut full of oxygen is discovered but a few Galaxy Quest style obstacles away. Massive chunks of the film are spent getting there and then getting back there again. There is sacrifice and an uncertain ending and zero thrills.

I like Anna Kendrick and Toni Collette but they didn't convince as space explorers and the whole thing was a dull disjointed mess. 5/10 territory.

Excellent! I still have my bar which is now worth marginally more! I'm guessing 20p in 2021 bawbees.