Messages

That's the trouble with occupying the moral high ground - you're there to be knocked down. I think anything is acceptable as a joke and don't think people should be a self appointed judge about what should and shouldn't be posted. Fair enough you don't have to like it but to try and cencor others who don't share your opinions is clearly wrong.

The 'sick' joke has long been used as a coping mechanism and long may it continue. If the Jews can joke about the Holocaust I think it's safe to say anything goes.

eg. Two Jews are against a wall about to be executed by the Gestapo.

Nazi   : Do you have any last words?
Heime  : Fuck you and Adolph Hitler
Moishe : Don't make trouble

Two nuns in a car. A vampire appears and starts banging at the window.
 
Nun#1 Quick Sister show him your cross
Nun#2 Fuck off you little prick

In a far seedier vein...

How do you know your sister has her period?

You really don't want to know...

 Your Dad's dick tastes funny

There are a lot of fat feckers on this board, and I count myself among their number. We could do a fit club style slimfest with the winner getting a box of Krispy Kreme Do-nuts.

I too do the yo-yo dieting thing and normally lose half a stone in January just by giving up the booze. The other great tip is to start smoking, as the fags stop you stuffing muffins in your gob.

Do I spy a Zoolander reference there Art? The interview wouild have to be at least twice as big etc. etc.

1) Johnnystress - all hit the seasonal mark with the Slade the pick of the festive bunch.

2) Radiator for three  Christmas crackers

3) SWIMINI TULKAS cracking detail with every possible fetive item squeezed in.

Congrats to all entrants - a real winter warmer!

Looks like a raw nerve has been touched ther Concrete Block.

Were you molested by a kangeroo as an infant? Or is it a long lying rankle over the terminal shittiness of Crocodile Dundee 2?

I'll go to Oz when they develop the Boom Tube or transporters. I got a numb arse during 'Night at the Museum', it would need amputating after a plane journey down under.

Sorry I looked it up and should of course have said $1.09.

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COUNTY OF
SANTA CLARA

How seasonal!

It'll end up like 'The Jerk' where all the winners get $1.27. Bloody lawyers will get their chunk if nothing else. If there are any bloody lawyers out there plaese don't sue.

You're a spoiled boy Daryll!

I forgot to mention another of my gifts - fresh water for 10 African chaps. Drink up fellas the clear stuff is on me! (Aunt Shona)

The mother in law has been on to say that the box of biscuits I was surprised to receive wasn't for me but for our neighbours. My real gift of toiletries now awaits collection.

If I were paranoid I'd read the subtext  as being 'Ha-ha fatty no cookies for you, by the way you stink!'

I'm not ungrateful but you'd think by the age of 35 people would have a rough idea of what you like. Why therefore did I get a lurid pair of Homer Simpson 'lounging trousers' and a three pack of cotton hankies.

My parents' 90 year old neighbour who has dementia was also puzzled that her daughter sent her a rough brush that appears to be designed for grooming horses.

Any other crappy gifts out there that deserve to be outed?

Probably in George's 'to do' lists.

If only they had oil and then the Americans would sort out the trouble, stick in their own leaders and make everything all right. It's worked well in... er..

They want to reissue the Band Aid record (again) and use the cash to topple the governments of these countries that can't afford to feed their people, but can afford jets and munitions to knock the shit out of each other.

Oh the the BBC deny it, but they would wouldn't they?

Link: http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6214425.stm" target="_blank">Tennant Evicted