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I used to think I knew a lot about Star Wars. Now? Now I feel stupid

M.

Here's all you need to do to learn everything there is worth knowing about Star Wars -

Watch Star Wars.
Watch The Empire Strikes Back.
Watch Return of the Jedi.

That is all.

Comic you read (excluding 2000AD/Megazine)- The Beano. I bought the latest issue because my lad wanted the 'free' playing cards that came with it. We read the comic together and both enjoyed it.

Graphic Novel you read - Defoe. Just brilliant. I love Leigh Gallagher's art and he signed my copy of the book at Thought Bubble. Pat Mills' writing is off the hook in this. It reads as one long battle with hundreds of zombies with a few breaks to catch your breath. Can't wait for the next collection.

Book you read- The last book I read was Zima Blue, a collection of short stories by the excellent Alastair Reynolds. Some lovely stuff in there. At the moment I'm reading Judas Unchained, part 2 of The Commonwealth Saga by Peter F Hamilton. It's brilliant. Even better than the first part, Pandora's Star. It's a hefty book, about 1000 pages but I'm flying through it as the story is so gripping.

TV Show you watched- errrmmm...don't make a point of watching much TV but the last program I actively decided to watch was the second episode of Outcasts. I didn't bother watching any more.

Movie you watched- Return of the Jedi on TV on Saturday (after saying I don't watch TV! I meant I don't tune in specifically to watch certain programs.). Me and the kids loved it. This is their favourite Star Wars film, mainly because of Jabba the Hutt. And, I quote, "Daddy, I love the Ewoks!"

Game you played- Sonic episode 4 part 1 on the Wii. Me and my boy have been playing this and we finished it after about 2 hours. We still haven't got all the Chaos Emeralds though. It's ok. Very old school but I suppose that's exactly the point.

Album you played- Tobacco - Maniac Meat. Tobacco is the side project of the lead guy from Black Moth Super Rainbow, a weird, psychedelic rock band. Tobacco is more beat driven. Almost hip hop (without rapping). Beck does some vocals on a couple of tracks. It's great. I'd recommend it to people with less pedestrian musical tastes.

In the 'tinkered with' special edition of Empire, The Emperor tells Vader that 'the young pilot who destroyed the Death Star' is probably 'the son of Anakin Skywalker', to which Vader replies (along the lines of) 'how is that possible?'.

That's not actually in the Special Edition, but it is in the DVD version.  It's actually the only bad scene in the 'current' version of TESB - the Emperor's hologram and make-up are atrocious.  And for my money Vader is lying to Palpatine at this point - earlier on in the same film he says 'And Skywalker is with them'.  The Gibbons mini-series cited above is actually pretty good stuff, although he never quite masters Vader's mask (which is a bitch to draw).

Maybe, but for all we know, Skywalker might be a fairly common name in Star Wars land so Vader knowing his name might not be a big deal.

Mind you, a Skywalker who is strong with the force would probably set alarm bells ringing.

Whilst I am slapping my forehead in cartoonish disbelief at the mere existence and dangerous levels of nerdery on display in this thread, I feel like I have something to contribute.

In the 'tinkered with' special edition of Empire, The Emperor tells Vader that 'the young pilot who destroyed the Death Star' is probably 'the son of Anakin Skywalker', to which Vader replies (along the lines of) 'how is that possible?'.

Christ knows who trained Yoda though. If it's not in the original trilogy, it didn't happen (to me anyway. Expanded universe my big white arse.).

I could do with one of these to support my massive cock and balls.

Hi there Glutton. Pleased to meet you.

I'm in too. Great idea.

Hi Tony. I guess you were targetting me then, as I was the first one to complain about the 'Team Uriel' line (although I'm not the only one who has been critical of the strip).

I just wanted to say, I'm not 'taking swings at your testicles', I'm just 'reviewing' a story in a comic. I know I'm not a professional comic critic or even someone whose opinion matters a great deal in the grand scheme of things, I just come on this site every week and talk about what I liked and didn't like in the prog. For all I know, nobody gives a fuck about what I type. Perhaps I can sometimes be a little too vehement about what I think is wrong with a particular story.

I'm not going to try back-pedalling, I haven't enjoyed Necrophim. I won't go into detail about why here, it just wasn't my cup of tea.

I realise it must seem like everyone is slagging off your work, but as you said, "It's a dozen people who wish it was like the old days and the rest are scared to talk". I wouldn't worry too much about what a handful of moaning old sods have to say if I were you.

I also wanted to say that I really enjoyed your Citi-Def story that appeared in the Meg a couple of years ago, I even sent you a personal email at the time telling you as much, as I thought you deserved a confidence boost after the appaling 'shit' incident.

Sorry if I was responsible for you getting upset or angry, I didn't intend that at all.

C'MON GUYS IT'S ENTERTAINMENT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE CAN JUST GO EAT A BAG OF DICKS AND JERK OFF TO WINTERS BONER IT LOOKS FRICKIN BADASS GIRLS GUNS AND SAMURAI ROBOTS THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME AND MY KIDS WILL LOVE IT TOO AND THATS REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS

You're sooooo wrong man. Every single piece of entertainment produced must be heavy with meaning, symbolism and laboured metaphors for the human condition and current events.

There is no room for 'fun' in film, TV, books or comics. Unless I have been forced to take stock of my life and reconsider what it means to be a human being living in the 21st century by the end, this film has FAILED.

Flying my spaceship into a black hole.




Although like all the other men in my family, I'll probably develop heart disease and then die, gasping and clutching my chest in the queue for the post office.

My son is learning about super heroes at school next week (pretty good school eh?), so I drew him a picture to take in -



I snuck Dredd in to try and infect the young 'uns minds and get them buying the prog in a few years. (they're about 7 years old)

I think we need a Jock Batallion badge with knives and buckfast on it! I wouldn't be happy having to make do with the Souther badge from being in the south of Scotland. We're so far into the grim north that we get our own country that turns the grim factor up to 11!

You can't get away with calling the whole of Scotland 'north'.

Unless you're finally ADMITTING that Scotland IS just a little old borough of England? In that case, yes, you're in the north.

Of England.

Well yeah, but Scotchland is a different country to Engerland so I think you can only get away with the Nort tag if you're in Northern Scotland. If you're in southern Scotland, you're a Souther.

I suppose if you were really desperate to paper over the cracks and force the new film into some sort of continuity with the Raimi films you could, but I don't think it's a good fit.

Gwen Stacy is the love interest in the new film yet she apparently meets Peter Parker in college in Spider-Man 3.

That, the mechanical web shooters and Curt Connors getting his job back after being a rampaging, humanoid lizard monster all add up to scupper the anally retentive compulsion to make the pieces fit together.

There's no way I can justify spending that much on a toy robot, no matter how sexy it is. And it IS very sexy.

Always thought Mongrol's head was yellow though. Was it originally red?