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I'm pretty annoyed about the blurry Dredd to be honest. I know that we on the board love 2000 AD and are inclined to be a bit kinder towards a mistake like this but the prog costs £2.35 these days, it's not chicken feed.

I buy 2000 AD for the art and stories, if the art is ruined due to an error then it robs me of my enjoyment and, therefore, value for money.

If I'd picked up any other comic on the shelves of a comic shop and the reproduction was as shoddy as this, I'd put it straight back down again. There's no way I'd shell out for a comic that looked so bad. I really hope it's sorted out before it goes to the shops on Wednesday because otherwise, a lot of people are going to be giving it a miss.

A decent, reprinted copy for subscribers wouldn't go amiss either.

[Doomsday]

Doomsday, the 2008 film by Neil Marshall of Dog Soldiers/The Descent fame.

Despite being a fan of his previous two films, I'd have to generously describe Doomsday as 'a big fucking mess'. It seems to be at least three completely unrelated films cobbled together with no consistent atmosphere, look or feel to tie it all together.

The plot was obviously concocted by a 2000 AD reader as it 'borrows' several elements from the 'Cursed Earth' story in Judge Dredd. After an uncurable virus takes hold in Scotland, the British government decide to cut their losses and just wall the bastards up and let them all die. Anyone attempting to scale the wall into England will be cut to pieces by automatic machine gun fire.

A little girl is amongst the last to be rescued by the army before the whole country is put on 'Jockdown' (a better title for the film I think you'll agree) and, 30 years later, we see that she is now a fit baaaadaaaass working for the government, shooting baddies in the face and getting her partners killed due to gross incompetence.

Despite this, when the virus inexplicably surfaces in the middle of England, she is chosen to lead an expedition into Cal-hab wastes to confront a scientist who was trapped there whilst working on a cure all those years ago. You see, living people have been spotted in the ruined streets of Scotland and if they've survived, there must be a cure. Right?

Anyway, badass lady leads her team into Scotland in their two Land Raider tank things and look for survivors. They soon discover that the survivors have modelled their new civilisation on a 1980's film interpretation of a punk nightclub. They're all tattoos, mohicans, fishnet vests and screaming. Yes, their main means of communication is screaming.

Badass lady - 'How did you all survive?'. Cliched punk leader - 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!'.

Badass lady kills cliched punk leader's annoying, grinning girlfriend. Cliched punk leader - 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!'.

Me - 'This film is shit...'. Cliched punk leader - 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!'.

So, after the cliched tacky punks have held a sort of 'Britain's Got Cannibalism' song and dance routine making use of ropey music by Adam and the Ants and Fine Young Cannibals (HA! DO YOU GET IT? THEY ARE CANNIBALS!) they EAT SEAN PERTWEE who was a scientist with badass lady. They all go 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!' and then badass lady escapes with a prisoner who she has freed who turns out be the scientist's (the one they're trying to find in Scotland, remember?) daughter, who tells badass lady that, SHOCK HORROR, Cliched punk leader is her brother!!! This has literally no impact on the story or any of the characters.

Aaaaaanyway. They eventually find the community which has been formed by old scientist guy and they've gone in a very different aesthetic direction to the 80's new romantic punks. They have modelled themselves on a Lord of the Rings cosplay club. Yes, they're all 'swords and horses' and live in a big castle and have gladiator fights, erm, and decide to kill all the badass lady's team for some reason.

Buuut, most of them escape and drive off in a posh car that is hidden underground and neeeearly get away, but as they're getting near the wall, the cliched punks turn up at either end of the very long road in their Mad Max cars, buses, bikes and what have you.

How did they get there? How could they have possibly known that badass lady and her team would be there? Or even which direction they were going in? And why are they bothering to send 50 people, expending gallons and gallons of presumably dwindling and precious fuel to chase after them? 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!', that's why.

After all the punks have been messily killed to the strains of 'Two Tribes' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (by which point me and my wife are nearly helpless with derisive laughter at this stinking mess of a film), badass lady hands old scientists daughter over to the shady government man so he can do a blood test on her and find the cure.

Badass lady, disillusioned with the shady goverment man, decides to drive all the way back to 80's new romantic punk land where she throws the head of cliched punk leader to the floor, symbollically taking over leadership of the despicable, cannibalistic wankers with their shit taste in music. The shit punks eye her warily. What will be their response? Then, the cry goes up! 'RAAAAARRGGGGGGGHHHHH!' they say.

My wife and I laugh uncontrollably throughout the end credits. What a right load of bollocks.

I'd just like to point out a rather surreal fact -

We have a fucking brilliant Judge Dredd film.

There. Just wanted to say that.

Jeeezus, stop rambling on, granddad.

Heh. Sorry. Got carried away there. A sign of my age no doubt.

Curiously, when I physically meet up with people, I'm usually one of the quietest people in the room. Guess I over-compensate online sometimes. Often-times. Okay, now I'm starting to ramble again...

Ha! I was only joking! I'm older than you.

I'm 37.

I saw a girl (well woman) at a wedding today (well yesterday as I write this, since it's 12:50 AM)  who I knew from childhood [spoiler]and may have had a little crush on.[/spoiler] She's the same age as me, literally to the day ([spoiler]imagine what my soppy young mind thought of that! Is it meant to be? No it wasn't.[/spoiler] ).

She's married with three kids now... a successful business woman (at least last I heard) and she hasn't really physically changed that much. We chatted briefly and up close I can see she is older (although at a distance you'd hardly tell) but she has aged well. As has her younger sister (coincidentally with a birthday the day before, strange how these work out. Not literally the day before, obviously she's at least 2 years younger. Don't mind me, I'm easily fascinated by these things) .

I'm thinning on top, developed wrinkles (although I think I can pass for a bit younger) and mentally probably not far off from a teenager. (In some way, in others I'm a grumpy old sod. But then I think I had that part of me when I was a teenager too.) Oh and I still live at home* and haven't really done much with my life, but I've never been particularly ambitious. Oh and I seem to be an perpetual bachelor.

That makes me seem miserable, but my life's not that bad really.** It does make me think I should probably try and grab life by the horns (forgive the cliché) before it gets too late though, if it's not already. Not from a business point of view, I care little about that. Just generally be more proactive, if that's the right word.

*A silly turn of phrase. Doesn't everyone live at home? But I'm sure you get what I mean.
**I'm certainly thankful for a good book or comic to read! Really makes life worthwhile. Dear me that is a bit sad, isn't it?

Jeeezus, stop rambling on, granddad.

I'm 41 and I'm planning to grimly hold onto life until someone invents either a rejuvenation treatment, robot bodies or bio-chips.

Oooh, that Dredd looks terrible. The Damage Report is all about how Robo-KEEF and How-LE have been left to 'ride this prog home to the printers' in the absence of Cyber-Matt and PYE-01.

Way to grass yourselves up lads!

The man is obviously an imbecile.

The Metro gave The Sweeney four stars today despite pointing out in the review that -

"the plot's not much cop and the script doesn't merely embrace cliché, it buys it a pint and a bag of crisps – but check your brain in at the door and enjoy the chases, is my advice."

Hmm. Sounds great...

The review is peppered with "GERTCHA, lavverly jabberly" mockney which makes me imagine the voice of the office nob head telling me that Ray Winstone is a 'proper ledge'.

[Cover]

BAM! There's the Meg!

Cover - Karl Urban IS Dredd. 'Nuff said.

Judge Dredd - Ratfink was one of my favourite Dredd stories of recent(ish) years and a sequel was long overdue. I don't mind at all that Ratfink can suddenly talk to ants and rats. It's a development that expands on the character and opens the door to new stories. Tiernen Trevellion is an absolutely brilliant artist.

Anderson - Nothing much happening here although we're getting the first hint that Anderson is feeling her age in the scene where she's dealing with the spunky upstart Psi Judges.

Snapshot - Hmm. I was enjoying this for a time but it now seems like I've been watching a car chase for eight months. There's no doubt that this will read better in one go but the 'de-compressed' nature would mean it would take about 10 minutes. I'm ready for it to finish now so we can see what's next. Anybody know what'll be replacing it?

Judge Dredd - It may be slightly cliched but it's a fun set-up and allows for lots of ass kickery. I love having two Dredd strips in the Meg too.

Ratfink - Brilliant. For the first time ever I read the floppy before the Meg. Love it. Ratfink is the nastiest bastard Dredd has faced and I hope the new series can live up to this one.

Of the articles, I haven't read the Simon Coleby interview yet but the film related articles are great even if I've already read most of what's said elsewhere. The concept art is lovely and makes me feel greatful that we got such a faithful representation of Dredd's uniform in the finished film.

All in all: BAM!

http://whatculture.com/film/5-reasons-why-dredd-sucked.php

I left a very measured and polite counter comment after the article. Would anyone like to balance it out by going on and calling the guy a cunt?

I'm already really excited about Brass Sun but the words 'epic', 'ongoing' and 'D'Israeli' have just pushed me over the edge.

I can just tell this is going to be fantastic and may be just what we need to fill the Dante shaped hole in the prog.

And, yes, Future Shocks still exist.

Do they make it in to the progs regularly?

Yes they do. There are usually five stories running at any one time in the prog, the first episode of Brass Sun is double length in prog 1800. When a series has come to an end, there are often a few one-off Future Shocks or Terror Tales and, more recently, three part Tharg's 3rillers to bridge the gap until the next series starts.

Only this week at work I've been asked to tone it down a bit after I was overheard saying that the immaculate conception is "all a load of rubbish".

This isn't meant to be saying you're wrong btw, but...

There was a thing on the BBC this week about the virgin birth of a snake. Other reptiles do it and as we all know from Jurassic Park, so did dinosaurs. So why not a random occurrence of a human female? Hmm, son of God fathered by snake DNA?  I'll stop there before I turn into David Icke.

True enough. And bumble bee queens spontaniously give birth with no males around to fertilise them. The point is, I doubt the existence of an omnipotent bumble bee god who knocks up unsuspecting queen bees.

I found Dawkin's input on last night's programme to be quite insightful. I also thought he came across as quite personable.

Why is he considered an arse?

I wouldn't say he was an arse but when I've seen him on TV in the past, debating with religious people, there's always a detectable air of barely concealed contempt for all things 'holy'.

In a debate about Islam I saw, he ended up coming off worse because he got frustrated and lost his temper whilst the muslim guy kept his cool (albeit whilst spouting some nonsense about Western women being disgraceful because they are 'allowed' to wear whatever they want).

Which is something I've done all too often I must admit. Only this week at work I've been asked to tone it down a bit after I was overheard saying that the immaculate conception is "all a load of rubbish".

Mark Millar (I don't follow him, it was a ReTweet), Rob Williams, Pat Mills, Henry Flint and Jock have all been praising it on Twitter.

On the question of whether an atheist can be spiritual; based on the definitions given in example here, yes, but I strongly object to the word 'spiritual' as it implies the involvement of some sort of supernatural element.

Also, the word 'spiritual' reminds me of the kind of vague, half arsed, airy-fairy bullshit that I've heard too many white people with 'dreadlocks' barf out at me over the years, along with talk of 'energies in the room' and 'auras' and all that other arsewash.

I prefer to think of the feelings of calm and 'oneness with the world' that comes from meditation, tranquility and peaceful contemplation not as 'spirituality', but as a clarity of mind. Maybe it's the same thing. It sounds less wanky to me though.