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I'm a big fan of the uber-realism in games - Operation Flashpoint was, to my mind, one of the finest games created by man.

May have to give this Red Orchestra shindig a go, then.

A grown man should not get as excited as I did upon hearing the words 'by your command'.

Enjoyed it, and it was certainly a good gap filler with some beautiful CGI, but as episodes go, I'd rank it somewhere in the middle. Of course, with BG, that's damning with faint praise, as even the one about the black market's better than just about all other US sci-fi ever.

You're a devious swine, Watson.

Then I gracefully concede the point.

Although, having said that, I would draw your attention to definition #11 in the below link, replicated for your pleasure:

11.   excrement: used as a euphemism.

Surely enough to take the case before the Council of Five?

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/business" target="_blank">http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/business

Were I a less scrupulous man, I would claim that these were indeed Leodisian references of a toiletty nature, but I would be lying.

There was a reference about my wife having gone to drop off the kids at the pool several hours ago and not having returned, but I foolishly placed it in a postscript instead of weaving it into the heart of the letter.

Get the drokk in! I don't know which is better, my shiny new copy of Bad Company, or Buttonman's disdainful comments.

The worst part is I won't be able to pick up me prog till at least Thursday... did my toilet euphamism make the cut?

Here's one sent at the height of letter fervour, back in June of '07. It was a fine vintage, I think you'll agree. Note the lazy efforts to cram in Button's challenge-words:

Tharg, Old Lad,

Been meaning to have a word, so here we are. Just had a few ideas floating around the ol' noggin that I thought I should share with you. Firstly, the thought occurs to me that you're looking a bit drab nowadays, don't you think? The kids today, they're not what they used to be. What I think should really draw the crowds in is if you could, oh I don't know, attach a telephone dial to your forehead. And become green! The colour you are now, the kids aren't so fond of. Green's where it's at, so I'm told. And jumpsuits. The kids love the jumpsuits.

Possibly also some kind of alien slang to pepper your editorials with? Just a thought. Don't think too much of the ravings of a madman.

Samuel "Combine Harvester of Whirling Sarcasm Death" Wilkinson
Leeds

P.S. - I've been told I stand a better chance of seeing print with this tripe if I actually said something about the comic. Frankly, the Mills Droid's been at the Exposition Flakes again, judging by part 3 of Greysuits. Have a word, will you?

I do. And so do many of my limp-wristed Grauniad-reading compatriots. These are all just symptoms of a bigger problem with our society as a whole, etc etc.

Assault is causing an individual to fear that violence will be inflicted on them. Any actual violence is battery, at its lowest level.

Huh. So he did. I honestly thought it'd been around longer than he had. Every day's a school day.

Which word did Dawkins invent?

I was under the impression the chaps on the ship were humans from the year one zillion, not contemporary aliens who happen to be a helluva lot like people.

Could be wrong, mind.

Thought it was alright, meself. Sure there were a few gaping plot holes and 'for fuck's SAKE' moments, but they weren't as frequent as they usually are.

Also, did nobody else think that the Doctor flying around the universe with an under-educated Richard out of off'f Keeping up Appearances would have been an awesome idea?

Also, the cameo of the unit badge on the bloke running the paper shop's head was good too.

Next year: more UNIT! Hooray! Shame that the best thing about Doctor Who in any given year is the trailer, mind.

'Eecky thump, it's Christmas come early.