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OK, if you liked the first one, thiss will crack you up.

LITTLE DAVID ON. GRAMMAR:
 
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little David.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

As promised, I said that I would start a few more unrelated threads, si inline with my New Years resolution - here's a joke. Enjoy!

LITTLE DAVID ON...PHILOSOPHY
 
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little David.
 
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little David says, "I have a question for YOU.  There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"
 
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little David replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

"bleedin ell" Dr X, I'm glad your not my Dr X, co's then you'd be my Dr Ex.

My head hurts! I think I'll go and lie down.

I'm off sick today, does anyone know if Dredd has appeared in the Metro yet, if not, what date he is due to appear.

Tarantino

If the rumours were true and that Dante was supposed to have a shelf life, then that would be as big a mistake as killing off Johhny Alpha (AKA Strontium Dog)

Dante is my favourite character after Dredd and it would be a serious blow to the comic if he was to never appear again.

Think carefully Rebellion, you have a success story with Dante, don't kill him off just because you can, or to make a point that no character is safe. I think that's what happend with Johnny and everyone agrees, it was a big mistake.

I know what you mean my Firey Queen. That's why I thought Dante would be better suited than Dredd, but I've just had another idea. Button Man. He would be perfect and I think he would suit the short strip.

Comedy Judge, no way, that's a terrible idea. He would have the same uniform as Dredd and We don't want Dredd to become a joke figure.

I am as excited about Judge Dredd apearing in the Metro as the next guy (though I still don't know when his first appearence will be) but he's been there and done that, first in The Daily Star (so no exposure there) and then in Heavy Metal Magazine. I'm not so sure how successful he was but I think if it's a Dredd story, it should be at least double the traditional space that it allocted to the average newspaper strip and in colour to build up a new fan base.

With this in mind, I think Nikolai Dante would be more suited to a newspaper strip and would have a wider appeal. What does everyone else think, are there any other characters which you think would be better suited than Dredd?

I metioned this in another thread, I think any Dredd game should have Dredd walking around Lara Croft style. Judge Dredd is a very visual character and it is disapointing not being able to see him move around. In this game you could be looking down the barrel of anyones gun. There seems to me to be no point in using such a well known Character and using his name to produce a game and then not being able to see him.

The one thing I would like to see in any future game is Dredd on his bike, with the added feature of a bike race or chase. The bike canons would be fantastic. I'm surprised they did not use it this time round.

Tarantino

No Can Do My Firey Queen
I gotta write
When I can't be seen
Although I will admit
At my desk, where I sit
Those tantilising, sexy legs
Are stopping me from....... Typing threads

Sorry, I missed the other new years resolution thread, I should have tagged this onto there. Oh well, that's another bad start to the year.

Ok, to turn over a new leaf and as a New Year?s resolution, I will join in more threads and start new ones, as long as PaulVonScott promises not to come home drunk and use the ?F word? anymore.

I will start by trying to justify my remarks regarding the current progs and the last Dreddcon.

Firstly, I deliberately missed the Dreddcon in 2002, as I refused to pay the exorbitant entrance fee, that was a complete rip off. The Dreddcon this year was a let down for me because I remember the first one, which had a great atmosphere and seemed to be celebrating 2000AD. They had Judges Walking around and loads of other interesting features. They just seemed to put lots of effort into it. This year?s seemed to be a promotion of Herolix and related products in the downstairs area. When I went upstairs and walked into the room where they were giving talks, the panel looked at me as if I had interrupted a board meeting and there were a few fans dotted around the room, waiting in silence for it to start. It just felt cold. The talks may eventually have been great and really interesting but I did not wait around to find out. The highlight for me was meeting Carlos Ezquerra, what a nice guy and all the other artists and writers seemed to be making an effort and doing what they could for fans (so a thumbs up there). Also, I got a chance to play the new Judge Dredd game and I really don?t understand why they designed it as they have. Looking down the barrel of Judge Dredds gun was completely uninspired. Dredd is such a visual Character and the game is based on him, so why can?t we see him walking round Lara Croft style?

My remarks regarding recent progs were, perhaps, a little extreme, they are not so bad. I am just disappointed because up until prog 2004, they had not had a decent artist on Dredd for a long time. I believe that Dredd has kept 2000AD afloat through some lean times and so he is their main man and he should be treated as such. What I am saying, is, I am not a fan of Siku, his style is too basic. Also, apart from Dead Men Walking, other, recent strips have not lit my fire. I guess it?s just a matter of preference. I will keep my remarks to constructive criticism in the future.

As usual my thread has gone on too long but In response to a request by DavidXBrunt I will start a thread telling you about my likes and dislikes in the new year and I will also tell you a little bit about me. That way you will be able to see where I am coming from in future threads.

Happy New Year to you all.

Cheers - Tarantino

Ok, to turn over a new leaf and as a New Year?s resolution, I will join in more threads and start new ones, as long as PaulVonScott promises not to come home drunk and use the ?F word? anymore.

I will start by trying to justify my remarks regarding the current progs and the last Dreddcon.

Firstly, I deliberately missed the Dreddcon in 2002, as I refused to pay the exorbitant entrance fee, that was a complete rip off. The Dreddcon this year was a let down for me because I remember the first one, which had a great atmosphere and seemed to be celebrating 2000AD. They had Judges Walking around and loads of other interesting features. They just seemed to put lots of effort into it. This year?s seemed to be a promotion of Herolix and related products in the downstairs area. When I went upstairs and walked into the room where they were giving talks, the panel looked at me as if I had interrupted a board meeting and there were a few fans dotted around the room, waiting in silence for it to start. It just felt cold. The talks may eventually have been great and really interesting but I did not wait around to find out. The highlight for me was meeting Carlos Ezquerra, what a nice guy and all the other artists and writers seemed to be making an effort and doing what they could for fans (so a thumbs up there). Also, I got a chance to play the new Judge Dredd game and I really don?t understand why they designed it as they have. Looking down the barrel of Judge Dredds gun was completely uninspired. Dredd is such a visual Character and the game is based on him, so why can?t we see him walking round Lara Croft style?

My remarks regarding recent progs were, perhaps, a little extreme, they are not so bad. I am just disappointed because up until prog 2004, they had not had a decent artist on Dredd for a long time. I believe that Dredd has kept 2000AD afloat through some lean times and so he is their main man and he should be treated as such. What I am saying, is, I am not a fan of Siku, his style is too basic. Also, apart from Dead Men Walking, other, recent strips have not lit my fire. I guess it?s just a matter of preference. I will keep my remarks to constructive criticism in the future.

As usual my thread has gone on too long but In response to a request by DavidXBrunt I will start a thread telling you about my likes and dislikes in the new year and I will also tell you a little bit about me. That way you will be able to see where I am coming from in future threads.

Happy New Year to you all.

Cheers - Tarantino

I have to much time on my hands.

Wow! I know I can inspire heated debate but I?m starting to feel like Salmon Rushdie, I may go into hiding until the Fat One is lifted, co?s he?s starting to feel heavy and I?m finding it hard to breath!

OK, I will try to defend myself one more time, although if anyone else takes another shot, I may go down.

I initially started buying duplicate issues of prog 2, because the first time I purchased one it was such a thrill, as I am a huge Dredd fan. I then bought another one to recreate that buzz and it spiralled from there. I now own more than I probably should but I never bought them in the first place in order to sell them on and I still do not plan to sell them on. I am trying myself to understand why I own so many and I believe the reason is as follows. If a dedicated Superman fan got hold of Action Comics number 1 it would be a fantastic thrill, as there are very few in existence. I consider myself a dedicated Judge Dredd fan and although owning prog 2 was a thrill, it was somehow diminished by knowing that there were many copies still out there. To counter this I started buying duplicate issues and I now believe that I have a collection which is not matched by any other Tooth fan. I think this equals the feeling that a Superman Fan would have in owning issue one of Action Comics. I have gone to a lot of trouble to obtain copies of prog 2 and have travelled up and down the country in pursuit of my goal. I will admit, I am pleased when they increase in value but still do not plan on selling them and I probably never will (I say probably because everyone has their price).

My previous threads have mainly been about promoting Tooth. I have done this by hyping back issues because I believed that if there was a thriving market in back issues, this would also create an interest in the current progs amongst collectors and investors, who do also have an interest in reading comics. I believe that this is also a way of getting in through the back door in America. As with music, if we can crack the American market then Tooth would be sitting pretty. Despite what various boarders have said, I still believe the above to be true, or at least, as part of a strategy.

Without being critical, I don?t see anyone else on the board trying to promote 2000AD, although I may be wrong, as I don?t read all the threads. To be honest, and I have avoided saying this but I am not too happy with the current story lines, characters and art in 2000AD and do not believe that Rebellion are doing a good job at the moment. I would hate this to be the beginning of the end. If they do not have the success with the Judge Dredd game as that hope to, then they might just drop the comic like a bad apple, but I think Rebellion have their own agenda and only time will tell.

I would just like to finish by saying thanks to Devons Daddy for being my only ally in the last thread, it was nice to have a voice of support amongst all that hostility. Thank you DD.

Also, my collection does not just consist of prog 2?s. I also probably have the biggest collection of Judge Dredd and 2000AD paraphernalia in the world. I do have a life outside of 2000AD but this is my hobby and I get great pleasure from it.

Now, as requested in my last thread, I will create another thread, unrelated to promoting back issues. I will talk about Tooth and my likes and dislikes, I may even tell you a little bit about myself and I promise never to post another thread related to hyping back issues, although the first appearance of Lobster Ransom might be worth getting hold of.......just kidding.

Thank you for listening and come on PaulVonScott, lift that Fat One, he?s heavy and he ain?t my brother!