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New horror from one of the directors of the Blair Witch Project (which came out ten years ago if you can believe that. Boy, do i feel old). //http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/theobjective/

Spoiler Alert: //http://www.aintitcool.com/node/40160

It's official, folks. Yesterday, Watchmen was passed by the BBFC with an uncut 18 certificate and a final running time of 161 mins and 54 seconds (at least eight minutes of which will be the end credits).

Prospective Future Shockers and Terror Talers may be interested in Mark Waid's blog on writing comics...
//http://markwaid.boom-studios.net/category/writing101/

Did anyone else watch the first episode of US military drama GENERATION KILL on Sunday...?
For those who didn't it's superb! As good as you'd expect from the makers of The Wire!
Don't worry if you've missed the first episode, nothing's really happened yet. The reporter's arrived, the character's have been set up and the invasion of Iraq has just kicked off.
It's on FX, Sundays, 10pm - GET SOME!

Almost prolapsed with laughter last night after reading this - a comprehensive, three-part review of "Mad" Franky Miller's ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN # 1-10. This might have been posted before and I'm sure most of you have already read it, but for the benefit of those who haven't here's...

Part One
//http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox7/

Part Two
//http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox20/

Part Three
//http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox30/default.php

   Don't know if I'm laughing at the review or at what Miller's coming up with. (I'm sorry, but I just don't buy the theory that All-Star Batman is some clever wink-wink deconstruction of the superhero. I just don't think Miller does irony!)

While you're on the website check out some of these proto-comics. Hilariously puerile!    

The Drunk Days of Lion-O
//http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox30/default.php

Can I Borrow Some Sugar
//http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/protocomics18/default.php

Can anyone help me remember the title and authors of a hardback graphic novel I saw on the shelves a couple of years ago...?
   It had a painted cover (don't know who by) and was about the Norse gods helping Hitler win WWII.
   Any ideas...?

Currently reading and enjoying The Best of Tharg's Future Shocks - any chance you guys will publish a Terror Tales equivalent...?

Hey there,
   Maybe it's because I'm delirious with flu and off me tits on Day Nurse, or maybe it's because Christmas is only a week away and I'm well excited, but I just want to wish everyone on the forum a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2009!!!
   Can you feel the love...?  
Cheers
Alec

Another Asian Western, this one from South Korea, and it's brilliant! Scroll down for trailer. //http://www.jdmfilmreviews.com/the-good-the-bad-the-weird-trailer/
It's out early Feb, alongside Takashi Miike's SUKIYAKI WESTERN DJANGO.

Cast your votes for the best (and worst) movies of 2008...

Here's mine (in no particular order):
Wall-E; The Orphanage; Stepbrothers; Persepolis; The Dark Knight; In Bruges

Honorable Mentions: Cloverfield; Kung Fu Panda; Hellboy II: Electric Boogaloo

Biggest Heap of Bum-Plop: Meet the Spartans; Eden Lake

Did anyone else ever read the Fighting Fantasy gamebooks...? Lone Wolf, Grey Star, Blood Sword, Way of the Tiger, Duel Master, Freeway Warrior, Golden Dragon, I couldn't get enough of them. In fact they became a bit of an obsession before I re-discovered comics in my teens.
   I didn't usually bother with dice and always kept a finger between the pages in case I made a wrong turn. And I always made a map – complete with reference numbers, of course, and a key of symbols for the various encounters. My nerdiness knowing no bounds, I then figured out an experience-point system that allowed me to boost my stats with each successive book. (I hope I don't sound like I'm actually proud of all this...) Once I'd figured out how the writers kept track of the paragraphs I started writing gamebooks of my own, full of violence and pointless gore, i.e. 'You deal the Orc Chieftain a mortal blow. Blood squirts from the wound in his neck as he staggers round the cavern in his death throes, spraying the walls with dripping black. If you wish to decapitate him, turn to 367. If you would rather run him through with your sword and twist the blade so that blood squirts out of his eyes, turn to 153.'
   Anyway, last year I stumbled upon the old books and re-read a bunch of them: Deathtrap Dungeon (the first I ever read – those Iain McCaig illustrations are incredible!), the Sorcery set (such a weird, exotic atmosphere – I used to spend hours trying to copy those John Blanche illos) and some of the later gothic ones like Vault of the Vampire and Dead of Night were pretty good too. Then I got a bit carried away and wrote a 50-paragraph amateur adventure for the official Fighting Fantasy website, but for some reason the email wouldn't work and I heard they were having problems with the site. I couldn't be arsed to look into it, work got on top of me again and I eventually forgot about it. Came across the story again the other day and thought there might be some old Fighting Fantasy fans out there who might enjoy it. So I've posted the background section and the first paragraph below. If anyone's bored enough to want to read the rest just drop me a line and I'll email you the full doc. (It's only 29 pages long, including official rules and background and comprises a complete, self-contained adventure in 50 paragraphs.)
   I'm NOT looking to get this published. I'm NOT looking for feedback. I just want to hoof it into the crowd on the off-chance someone else out there might enjoy the same daft shite as I do.
   It's more in the style of the later Gothic FF books, although I tried to work in something of the iconic settings of the original Steve Jackson/Ian Livingstone run. And the writing's streamlined 'cos it was originally intended for kids (that's my excuse anyway).
   May the luck of the gods go with you on the adventure ahead!

GARDEN OF BONES: BACKGROUND

The man behind you slowly draws a dagger. With a single motion you sweep your sword from its sheath and strike the weapon from his hand with a ringing clang. The dagger spins high into the air. You kick the man hard in the chest and he topples onto his backside. A second later the dagger lands point-first in the ground between his legs.

He yelps in surprise and his brow glistens in the moonlight as you aim the point of your sword at his throat. "I'm sorry," he babbles. "B-b-but..."

You lower your sword and laugh. If it was gold he sought he only had to ask. You toss him a gold piece. In astonishment he studies its seal - that of Baron Sukumvit of Fang! "But these," he exclaims. "These are granted only to one who has survived the Trial..."

You laugh again and sheath your sword. The great riches that you recently acquired in Chiang Mai have indeed come in useful. Gold has bought you everything you ever wanted, except excitement.

Bored with your comfortable dwellings in Chiang Mai you travelled to the city of thieves, Port Blacksand, in search of adventure. Of the many tales you heard in the Black Lobster tavern, one in particular caught your interest...

The next day you bought a leaky old boat and sailed down the ruddy waters of the Red River towards the Moonstone Hills. You stopped to buy supplies from the gruff Dwarfs of Stonebridge, along with a sharp new sword. Sailing on you passed the twisted trees of Darkwood Forest and the blood-red peak of Firetop Mountain, before coming to moor at the humble village of Barn.

The villagers were friendly enough, once they were satisfied you had not arrived on some wicked errand from nearby Darkwood. You quickly found a local man who could help you find what you were looking for. His eyes flashed at the mention of gold. But his look quickly turned to one of horror when you told him exactly what you were searching for. It took several more coins and several more mugs of ale before he agreed to act as your guide. As night fell the two of you crossed the ferry north and followed a seldom used path by lantern-light, with bleak and lonely hills stretching away on either side, shrouded in moonlit mist.

You stand now outside a neglected graveyard. The bright moon illuminates a pair of jagged iron gates and a low, crumbling stone wall. The church here apparently burnt down long ago. The broken headstones that remain have since become so overgrown with weeds and wildflowers that the place has long been known among the locals as, "The Garden of Bones".

The tale you heard in Port Blacksand concerned events that took place over half a century ago, when an ambitious warlock named Morbius Kane struck a bargain with a Demon Prince in exchange for a weapon that would make Kane as mighty on the field of battle as he was in the field of magic. Kane was a man of inhuman vanity and collected the skulls of his enemies so as to keep a total of the number of lives he had taken. The Demon knew this and promised Kane a weapon truly worthy of a harvester of lives such as he.

The Demon gave Morbius Kane a great scythe, its long blade carved with runes that glowed like hellfire. The weapon increased its master's ability in combat to such a degree that now not even the mightiest of Kane's warriors could best him. Thus Morbius Kane grew demented with a lust for conquest, seeking more and more skulls to add to his monstrous collection. He even swore upon his scythe that he would not rest until he had claimed one hundred thousand Allansian lives.

He gathered an army of undead beings – Zombies, Skeleton Warriors, Ghouls, Wights and Crypt Stalkers – and with them ravaged the outlying lands. After months of bloodshed, Kane was eventually defeated by the Dwarfs of Stonebridge. In a ferocious battle their hearty leader, Gillibran, smote Kane dead with a blow from his magical hammer. Gillibran brought the Scythe of Kane back to Stonebridge for examination. But the weapon was stolen in the night by Kane himself, who had returned from death to reclaim it, bound by his own dreadful oath to take a hundred thousand mortal lives.

In the following weeks the villagers of nearby Barn saw ghostly figures wandering the streets at night. Men were found dead, women and children disappeared and word finally reached the wizard Yaztromo in his great tower on the southern edge of Darkwood Forest. The old wizard arrived in Barn and invoked a spell that took three days and three nights to cast. He thus captured the undead Morbius Kane, along with every one of the warlock's followers. Needing a suitable prison in which to house these monsters, Yaztromo bound them within the nearby Garden of Bones, placing a spell around the graveyard that prevented anything inside from ever escaping.

Yet legend has it that whenever the full moon shines upon the Garden of Bones its gates creak open once more. Though the undead remain trapped inside, it is possible for the living to enter their shadow realm. Many an adventurer has entered the Garden in search of the fabled Scythe of Morbius Kane. None have returned - at least none alive.

The full moon now shines bright upon the Garden of Bones. A strange fog seems to billow from among the graves. You hear a metallic clink, followed by a slow, painful, grinding creak as the gates open to greet you. Your guide scrambles to his feet, gibbering in terror, and dashes back towards the village.

It is said that once a living person enters the Garden of Bones they may never again find their way out. The writhing mist inside has a way of confounding one's sense of direction. But during your visit to Stonebridge you took the precaution of purchasing an enchanted lantern, which will light your way back to the land of the living.

The cold mist now curling round your ankles casts a pale glow. What a tale you will have to tell when you return to Stonebridge holding the legendary Scythe of Kane. A sudden shiver ripples down your spine. Then again, it will not do to underestimate the task ahead of you. Gripping the hilt of your sword for reassurance you walk boldly into the Garden of Bones. The gates swing shut behind you like the iron jaws of death.


Turn to paragraph 1.


1.
At the sound of the clashing gates your blood turns to ice in your veins. You turn to see the iron railings vanish behind a rising wall of mist. Once it clears you see the gates through which you entered have vanished. You are now surrounded by seemingly endless hills littered with weed-strangled tombstones and dead trees. The sky appears a featureless grey and the air smells like stagnant pond-water. The only thing here that moves is the mist, ceaselessly curling and twisting. It seems possessed of a mind of its own, as you feel not the slightest breeze. All is silent, but for the occasional moan or strangled cry in the distance. You hear nothing else, not even the chirp of a cricket. Nothing seems to indicate the presence of anything living, except the clink of your battlegear and sound of your boots swishing through the tall slimy grass. Truly, you have entered a land of the dead.

You suppress a shudder and focus upon your quest. You must find the resting place of Morbius Kane and retrieve his magical scythe before the night is out. Your search begins now. To your left the land rises slightly and the graves and tombs appear more numerous. To your right the land slopes gently downward and seems particularly overgrown. Straight ahead you swear you saw something move among the tombstones, although your nerves may already be playing tricks on you.

If you wish to investigate the tombs to your left, turn to 43. If you wish to investigate the overgrown area to your right, turn to 30. If you wish to investigate the movement you think you saw straight ahead of you, turn to 37.

[...Give us a shout if you want to read the rest (it's easier to read on a Word doc than on here). Cheers, Alec]

Nazi zombies + snow + plus chainsaws... I can't wait to see this one. //http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/node/39336 Fortune and glory, kid...

Looks good, even if it doesn't quite look like it's got the dreamy, sinister edge of the book...
//http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/node/39172

This one gets my vote!!! //http://www.newsarama.com/film/110809-Beyonce-WW.html

Not sure if this has been mentioned elsewhere, but anyway - there's a new series of CHARLIE BROOKER'S SCREENWIPE on tonight (Tuesday) on BBC4 (I think) at 10.30 (i think). Check press for (more accurate) details.

It's not all bad news, though. This looks great...
//http://www.apple.com/trailers/dreamworks/monstersvsaliens/

This one's apparently a 'reboot,' which is especially depressing since it suggests we might be in for another umpteen sequels...
//http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/fridaythe13th/

Latest pic from the movie version of Mark Millar's KICK ASS...

//http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/node/39097

Crom! This isn't looking good...
//http://www.aintitcool.com/node/38775