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Or post a turd to him a a jiffy bag, surrounded by those little polystyrene chip things. He won't be able to see what's in it, so will either have to put his hand in or empty it onto his desk.

Quick! Get him with a flying kick. Scuff him with a kung-fu slipper. ;)

Ceramic proof that they're already plotting to overthrow the world economy.

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Although from the 70s, The Devil's Rain (with Bill Shatner and Ernest Borgnine in it) had some good milk/porridge eye-spurtage at the end, iirc.

Aieee! Max has spooge-vision!

My first thought is that if he's not a registered user (at least for the moment), then no payments through Ebay would actually get to him. So to hang tight for the time being.

Are the invoices normal Ebay ones, or ones he's put together himself?

What's the smelliest thing in the world?


An anchovy's fanny.

What's red, orange and yellow and looks perfect on a chav?



Fire.

*Nothing* is impossible on this messageboard!

To drag things back to normality...



Why does Rupert the Bear wear tartan trousers?



Because he's a cunt.

Nope. Wils as in Wilson, cattle molesters of the Gunn clan. Er..perhaps I should have kept that to myself. ;)

I'm a half-breed. My mum's from Piercetown in County Meath, just outside of Kells.

I thought my using 'Kerryman' instead of 'Irishman' would've told you of my heritage, tbh.

"Good evening, and welcome to Kerry News. Our leading story tonight... Police are investigating the crash of a two-man light aircraft into a Killarney cemetary. On the scene, yer man, Michael O'Shite. Michael?"


"Jaysus Christ, Kathleen! It's worse than anyone could've imagined. So far, emergency teams have found a hundred and twelve bodies!"

A Kerryman goes to Dublin and finds himself in a pub, where he meets a woman he's really attracted to. After hours of talking, they finish their drinks and she leads him to the door by his hand. As she reaches for the handle, she turns to him and says "I do have you warn you, though. I'm on my menstrual cycle at them moment."

"That's alright," replies the Kerryman. "I'll follow behind you on my Yamaha."

Hey! Other people are telling jokes about Michael Jackson fucking little boys and *I'm* the one that get's singled out as sick?