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I know how you feel. I'm a hair's breadth away from buying it from Schmidt's at lunch time.

'Pah!' to all your spoonish ways. There is only one master in the cutlery drawer...http://www.hikerdirectory.com/trailjournals/images/gear/spork.jpg">

Keane smells of wee*




*Successful Usenet Troll-Be-Gone? phrase since 2000.

'Energy Ring to Vapourise!'

(anorak mode) That would be "Energiser to Disintergrate!", wouldn't it?(/anorak mode)

And there was the Vixen one with Corrinne Russel

Very dodgy memory, but didn't the Barbarian one consist of Wolf from Gladiators and Maria Whittaker?

I'd make the Prog edible. Printed on processed cheese slices or slices of bread.

For totally unrealistic swearing, watch any episode of Bad Girls. Hilarious.

Your laughing at non-attendees is made all the more evil by the revelation that it could've also been a birthday celeb for Mr Eyebrows.

You heartless bastard.

Longy and PVS look on as Gary talks about...something.http://www.btinternet.com/~mr_fingers/PIC_0002.jpg">

Alex & Longy compare chinshttp://www.btinternet.com/~mr_fingers/PIC_0001.jpg">

Malchi and I will definitely be there, but there's no set time. We'll be there when we get there. Shouldn't be *too* late, though.

This any help?

Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093777/plotsummary" target="_blank">Prince of Darkness plot

"Mind the pants, Marlon."

Trampled Under Pants
Psalm 69 - The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Pants
Sloppy (I Saw My Pants Gettin')
Gary Gilmore's Pants
My Perfect Pants
Pants Up, Fatty
She Sells Pants
Close to Pants
Pretty in Pants
Surprise! You're Pants!
Lucretia my Pants

I'm a sod for ruining people's favourite songs by coming up with alternative lyrics for them. Some choice ones being:

The Moody Blues - "Tights that I've shat in, never reaching the end."

R.E.M. - "That's me in the corner. That's me in the tight pants, showing my religion."

The Water Boys - "You saw my hole when I mooned." (my personal favourite)

The 'tea' ones were always a laugh as well. Robert Palmer - She Makes my Tea, Bob Marley - No Woman No Tea etc.