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The Lone Ranger sends Tonto out to recce the trail ahead. When there's no sign of him for over an hour he decides to go and find him.

Over the next hill he spots Tonto with the side of his head on the desert floor. He walks over and asks what the problem is.

"Buffalo come." says Tonto

"You know by listening to the vibrations?" asks the Lone Ranger.

"No." replies Tonto. "Ear stuck to ground."

Favourite books of the (in)famous.

Fred West - Transform your Home with Feng Sui.

Bobby Kennedy - How to Pick up Girls in your Home-made Amphibious Craft.

George W Bush - Green Eggs and Ham

A bloke phones in to work to say he won't be in, and his boss asks him the reason why.

"I'm sick." he says.

"SIck? And exactly *how* sick are you?" demands his boss.

"I'm in bed with my sister."

Q: What's the smelliest thing in the world?

A: An anchovy's fanny.

Q: What's green and smells of pork?

A: Kermit's finger.

A bloke goes to a fancy dress party with a girl over his shoulder.

"What've you come as?" someone asks.

"I'm one of those ninja turtles." he relplies.

"But where does the girl come into it?"

"That's Michelle."

There was a Dredd game on PS1. It was one of those lightgun games and sucked bottom immensely. I only had a demo of it, so I didn't see that much of it. The cutscenes were funny, though, as everyone's uniform bar Dredd's consisted of the blatant use of painted cardboard. The bloke who played the captain of the holo-ship in Red Dwarf was CJ Griffin, IIRC.

Wils

Sent them last night. Did you get em ok?

I can't seem to reply to the original thread for some reason.  

Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I'll definitely send it tonight. Do you want it in colour or b&w?

Wils

I can't seem to reply to the original thread for some reason.  

Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I'll definitely send it tonight. Do you want it in colour or b&w?

Wils

Just got this month's independant previews in my inbox, and was pleasantly surprised to see this.

"JOHNNY NEMO VOLUME ONE TP
by Milligan, Ewins, & Dillon

After a ten-year hiatus, Johnny Nemo is back! New London's ultra-violent private investigator of the future returns in a book crowded with junkies, fascists, scheming billionaires, and gorgeous women galore. How's a P.I. to cope with all this? By killing as many people as possible of course! Collecting seven rarely seen Nemo stories as well as a "Time for Nemo," a brand new story written especially for this collection! Nemo is old-fashioned mad, violent fun for the morally bankrupt degenerate in all of us.

MATURE READERS

SC, 7x10, 88pg, b&w ?10"

At home (I'm at work at the mo) I've got an Illustrator file of a Judge's badge sans name that I copied off the back of an annual. As it's vector, it can be resized to any size you want without going dodgy. It can either be colour or b&w as well.

Let me know if you want me to send it to you when I get home.

Cheers
Wils

We talked about this one night in the chat room. IIRC, I said that if enough people thought it was a good idea I'd design a boarders name badge, insert the names of people who want them and send the files (probably tiffs or decent JPEGS) to them to print out and make the badge themselves. This way everyone wearing them would be instantly recognisable as a boarder, with the added bonus of being able to choose weather to make it into a sticker, clip badge, hang it round your neck etc.

If anyone has any preferrence in design, let me know. I'm guessing not everyone would want,say, a Judge's badge with their name on it.

Wils

What may be dumber is me paying nearly 20 quid for the Dredd one a couple of months ago. :(

Wils

My major hate is double negatives. Although being proficient in them seems to be a prerequisite of all guests on Trisha/Jerry Springer/Ricki Lake etc.