Messages

Yes, of course I take the Census seriously, it's used by Government to allocate funds based on population.  People who don't fill it in, or deliberately cock it up, will probably be amongst the first to complain when they lose a service.

I do think though that some of the questions are ridiculous but that's all part of the fun.

It's nice to see that the English have been identified, at long last in the Census, as having a national identity.  Now all we need is a Parliament so we can be up there alongside our Scottish, Welsh, and Northern Irish brothers and sisters!

 

[PLEASE]

Now that you've finally sussed that you're unlikely to get your leg over this side of the next moon landing, can I now assume that this thread is now done with!!  No more, please, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!

Classic!

The "on/off" button was a great invention, it covers everybody's likes and dislikes!!

You speak for yourself!!

I'll tell you what Irish guys, why don't we swap our bunch of wankers for your bunch of wankers!

Friends zone!!!!  Bloody friends zone!!!  Is that it??  After 30-odd pages of free advice from our large panel of experts in the seduction of women, (their fingers worn to the bone with typing) and you come on here to announce you're just going to be "friends"!!!!  The shame of it, man, the shame of it!!!  Get off this thread and don't come back until you've at least found out if her hair colour's natural!!!

T-Rex "Ride A White Swan", oh God! where have the years gone!!

Noodles!  Pain may well be a mere distraction to you, but to me it's a big red danger sign saying "stop doing what's causing the pain!"  And as for virtually guaranteeing Rads that he won't collapse, presumably you have some insight into his medical history?

I don't know Rads; don't know his age; what he does for a living; what he likes for his tea; if he's married, etc. etc. but I'll have a sportsman's bet with you that outrunning prey on the veldt is way down his list of daily chores!!  Of course, I could be wrong and even as I'm typing this, he could be stalking a wildebeest!!!

Yes, Mate, a Mars bar.  A pretty good energy boost, if your blood sugars fall very low.  I know there are other ways of getting sugar into your body quickly but why not eat something that you enjoy.  Alternatively, you could just collapse.  Not particularly recommended!

Radiator, I'm assuming you're not training to run a marathon or trekking to the North Pole, so don't listen to all this macho bullshit about running through the pain barrier.  If you get discomfort, stop running and take a rest.

If you're just trying to lose a few pounds and improve your general fitness level, going jogging for a few miles is great, just make sure you've got a proper pair of running shoes (not poncey fashion trainers); try whenever possible to run on grass; listen to some music whilst you're running; and take some fluids and a Mars bar with you.  Oh! and eat a couple of bananas before you start.  Have fun!

P.S. Never train whilst carrying an injury.  Rest up, even if it takes weeks.  Leave all the "running through pain" to the Marines!!

Ah!  But it's what comes after the hug that's important!  Will it be a "Hello" or a "Goodbye"?  Whatever it is, I wish it would hurry up!!

Touche! 

Wot!  You're not meant to drink the mug as well!!