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I'm now Master Master.

Though I did balls up my dissertation a little, I've now got confirmation that I've passed my second Master's degree.

(But seriously, I don't deserve to be here and I'll be found out, and thrown out, sooner or later.  I'm no academic.  A know it all, yes.)

Really, you should just speak, and dress, like Max Normal.

"Ace Trucking, done stop motion stylee."

I'm imagining it like the California Raisins clay animation would work for this.

ABC Warriors, robots are cool.

"not doing much for the cash I get paid"

That's called efficiency.

There was also the time I worked as a security guard in a factory where they packed Christmas hampers.  I has to make sure that the people working on the production line, on minimum wage and only on seasonal work in high unemployment Bradford, didn't steal a tin of beans and sausages.  I felt like a real wanker.

Yes, Kirby Cleaners indeed.  

Here, I'll only be ten minutes, let me demonstrate by pouring salt all over your carpet.
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Really, has it been an hour.  Well, thank you for your patience.  I really think we can do a deal here.  Would you want one if you could afford it?  Let me just ring my boss.  Yes.  No.  They can't afford it.  Okay.  Excuse me, he'd like to talk to you.
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There's no need to swear, I'm going.

Selling thousand pound vacuum cleaners door to door.  The entire organisation was a bunch of liars.  To me, they told me I could earn a week's pay working five days in seven.  Nope.  Seven in seven, maybe.  To me they told me that I would never do cold calls.  Well, that was not quite true, I'd be doing cold calling door to door to trick people into having a sales appointment.  The bargain was that I shampooed a carpet in exchange for somebody listening to the pitch.  We had to promise to be all wrapped up in however long it was, but the sales pitch always took longer.  Either people got mad, or you trampled on people's good nature.  The arguments used to sell the machine were illogical, particularly when it came to affordability.  Who wants to exploit stupid people?  Why is it more acceptable to exploit the stupid than it is to exploit the physically weak?

Simply put, nobody needs a thousand pound vacuum cleaner.  And certainly not the people who actually bought one.  Their houses were already spotless, they were housewives with weak personalities, realtively easy to push into accepting the necessity of the thing.

Dishonest, high-pressure selling, and dishonest management too.  I quit.

Does Ron Davies he have a file on us all?

Yes, LMS is in a secret cabal of media-types including Michael Moore, Dan Rather, Andrew Gilligan and the entire BBC to impose their cultural Marxism on us all!

Link: http://bartlettsbizarrebazaar.blogspot.com" target="_blank">This Godless Communism!

Likewise, I tend to scan the collections for somehing interesting.  I'm not even organised enough to get tooth every week*, so it'd be a waste for me to buy one issue in every three of another book.

*I do get every issue.  Just not every week.

The colouring on Heart of Empire was fantastic.  Plus, it features celebrity cameos!

Christmas will begin when I pack up down here in Cardiff and head home to God's Own County.

Probably the 21st this year.

He'd be buying back the originals in a blackmail scam.

Oh, the glamour of organised crime.

I got that letter this morning, and for a few bleary-eyed moments I couldn't work out why I was receiving personally address pamphlets urging me to buy Christmas cards.

Then I realised they were 'Thrud' cards, and spent a good while trying to find an excuse to buy a batch.  I don't know anyone who they would suit...