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Mate, not been on these here forums in a while so not seen your blog before but it is EXCELLENT!
Well done, sir!

Cadet Jake Marsden says hello. There was also some sweary stuff.

But if he asks, you didn't hear it from me...

The character's full name? Never been revealed in the continuity but I did see a non-official thing with the first name of Vladimir. Can't remember where off the top of my head, think it may have been one of the Mongoose RPG supplements.

1. 1727- Shakara
2. 1742- Zombo
3. 1724- Flesh

Final answer.

[Q1-]

Q1- What's the story with Dredd's uber-Lawmaster (when we have seen you draw the older type for cadets, etc)?

Two statements of fact...
1. Garrison's clothes got torn off very easily.
2. You draw hot women.
Q2- Given the above, do you have any sketches of Garrison completely starkers?
Yeah, I know she is a cadet and all, but if her feet touch the floor when she is on the toilet, it's legal.

PS Answer the second question first.

Speaking of which, the death of a local legend here in Mordor...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/aug/08/nancy-wake-white-mouse-gestapo

Anyone who kills a member of the SS with her bare hands has a special place in my heart.

Seconded. Do we need to get you a hat or anything, Mr B?

[The Day The Earth Stood Still]

The Day The Earth Stood Still
If it wasn't for the original being seared into my brain, this wouldn't be too bad film, but it did suffer from several weak points.
Firstly it depicted the US Govt as utter cocks that go all shooty bang bang when faced with someone from a different cult-, oh, hang on that's probably accurate. Strike that.
Next it had Keanu Reeves playing Klaatu as a disassociated galactic exterminator. You might think that Keanu would be perfect in this emotionless role as he is usually so wooden he is sponsored by Cuprinol, but he is really terrible in this. It amazes me how he is still employed so he must have the same agent as Harrison Ford.
The special effects were a bit ropey in places, too. I know that you can't get it perfect every time, but as they skimped on character development I thought they might throw a bit of extra cash at it.
The family unit of the heroine was also a pointless move and the kid served no purpose whatsoever except to dob in the alien and bitch about stuff. Pointless.
Lastly, the bit at the start [spoiler]set in 1928[/spoiler] made no sense to me with regard to the rest of the film. I thought that [spoiler]Sherpa Reeves would be abducted and serve as the spokesperson[/spoiler] but it seems they just [spoiler]borrowed a bit of his DNA [/spoiler]or something. This was never explained, though. It would have made more sense if this were [spoiler]James Hong's character who was "touched" by the sphere and became an observer, but it was clearly "Da Plank" with a snowy beard[/spoiler]. Again-pointless.


Capitalism- A Love Story
Michael Moore's eye opener on the state of the US Economy, the bail out and the deregulation of banking. It made me both depressed and angry at the same time, much like reading Junker or Dry Run. It can be said that Michael Moore is a Socialist (he has never publicly admitted this to my knowledge) and that is a phrase often bandied around like a dirty word. To many a brainwashed American, Socialist=Commie=Bad guys from Red Dawn.
Michael Moore's view of things is that from a Democratic perspective, the people are getting shafted by the elite. If the reversal of that can be called Socialism, then we should all sign up for it. I'd rather see a dozen gobshites who show off their fleets of cars on Cribs whacked with a 90% tax bill than see a single family forced out of their homes due to "hidden" interest hikes.
The revelation about the complex banking equations, insurance policies taken out by the company to cash in on the deaths of workers and the poorly paid airline pilots is jaw dropping stuff. You wonder just how they got away with this, and then you see the vacuous chops of Ronald Reagan and the grinning monkey face of George W Bush and know full well how it all came to pass.
The very start of the movie comparing Rome to modern America also rings truer than I would like to believe is happening.
Good film but it made me teary eyed to see the little people stamped on by folks who are only in it for the benjamins.

Star Trek
Really enjoyed the reboot.
Chris Pine shines as Kirk (especially if you watch the extended Kobayishu Maru scene with extra green cleavage), Zachary Quinto hits the mark as Spock and future Old Stoneyface Karl Urban channels the spirit of DeForest Kelley to pull off a brilliant McCoy.
Though I love Simon Pegg to bits, his Scotty was the one weak point in the film. Well, that and Eric Bana's underdeveloped Nero.
The SFX was top notch, the opening scene with the USS Kelvin was great (though probably upset the purists more than the [spoiler]Spock/Uhura[/spoiler] thing) and the fan service moments were well executed.
Here's hoping the next one is as good.

I saw The Expendables on a plane during my last Mordor-UK run and wasn't that impressed. I dunno, I expected a dumb action movie but thought it would be funnier somehow. The much touted scene between the 'big three in the church' failed to live up to the hype. Maybe they will do better with the sequel.

Mark Millar & Grant Morrison mount Summer Offensive 2012...

A nation rejoices.

[Predator]

It's been a busy week in the Orlok household...

Predator
A rescue team (and not assassins) kill about 100 people and are picked off by an alien Jeffrey Dahmer.
Caught bits of this the other night and I forgot how homo-erotic it is in places. Dutch and Dillon obviously had a thing going on in the past and can't resist holding hands there for about a minute. Seriously, it couldn't have been more obvious if this reunion was re-enacted by John Barrowman and Andi Peters doing jazz hands at each other while shrieking.
It's still a good movie but you see it with different eyes once you get past the cheesy one liners, Dillon's [spoiler]extra arm in his death scene[/spoiler] and people running around on fire. My main problem is that I simply cannot watch this without hearing the Predator Rap (http://youtu.be/tpnUP_tWEyc) in my head all the way through.
[spoiler]'Before triggering a timer to set off a bomb, cos they're all bad losers where the predator comes from"[/spoiler]

Best moment? Get to the chopppaaahhhhh! or Hawkin's massive specs. Tie.


Airforce One
Die Hard on a plane.
Harrison Ford is a bad actor. There I said it. He can do Deckard, Indy and Solo and that's it. In every other film I have seen him in he has been utter pants. He's that generation's Keanu Reeves.
This is a terrible, terrible film. Cheesy Americanism, feckless terrorists and utterly ridiculous scenes make this one to be avoided at all costs. The opening speech about the US not putting profit over morality must really have upset the director when the Iraq thing kicked off.
A mere 30 minutes in I was shaking with rage at plot holes, preposterous situations (secret service agents who are worse shots than Stormtroopers) and really bad dialogue.
Gary Oldman does a decent Russian accent (though a mate of mine says the spoken Russian is waaaay off) and tries his best to lift the film, but that is about it for the credibility stakes.

Best moment? The [spoiler]MIGs fire just one missile at the fleeing plane, sportingly let it try countermeasures instead of peppering it with a barrage of air to air death[/spoiler]. Fortunately [spoiler]an F15 is able to fly into a missile to take the hit for the Commander In Chief[/spoiler]. Sniff. No really, it did happen. I saw it.


Kill The Irishman (aka Bulletproof Gangster)
An Irish American takes on the mob.
An intriguing tale of Cleveland hoodlum Danny Greene and his rise to union boss and mob enemy. Some nice set pieces and touches in there and Ray Stevenson does well in the role.
This was interspersed with actual footage of the Cleveland mob war aftermath, which I found more disturbing than the filmed brutality.

Best moment? Christopher Walken fails to drive away safely.


The Taking Of Pelham 123
Scientologist whack job holds a train hostage and attempts to woo a married father of two.
Not a bad update of the original, which still ranks as a fondly remembered classic in my book. By making the heist more about [spoiler]a Wall Street deal than a simple extortion plot[/spoiler] and the character of Garber [spoiler]not so squeaky clean[/spoiler] it was an interesting diversion.
Denzel was good (as usual) and Travolta kept himself in check for once and didn't seem to overact too much. Maybe his Thetans were aligned that day.

Best moment? The sudden realisation that a helicopter is faster than New York traffic. No shit.


X Men Origins Wolverine
Immortal mutant loses memory, girl, shirt.
Entertaining but ridiculous tale of inexplicable shirt loss, forgotten prequel interaction and plot devices so far fetched you'd have to have them air mailed to you. From Pluto.
Things I noticed...
1. A kindly old couple take in a super-powered individual and form a bond with him for the son they lost/never had. I may have read something similar in a comic once.
2. Logan leaves his girlfriend [spoiler]apparently dead in the woods after the obligatory screaming at the sky bit. I suppose it would have been less of a twist at the end had he have buried or cremated her[/spoiler].
3. Wolverine is a cool guy who doesn't look at explosions.

Best moment? Stryker's realisation that the [spoiler]bullets he has been espousing for most of the film won't actually kill Wolverine but will in fact...take away his memories[/spoiler]? Seriously?

12 Rounds
Terrorist gets revenge on the cop who put him away and killed his woman.
The most implausible film I have seen this year, and that takes some doing.
At the end of this film the hero should be facing a multi-million dollar lawsuit for property damage and trauma. He should also pull in a lot of prison time.

Best moment? [spoiler]Helicopter debris failing to land on the hero and his beau[/spoiler].

Shouldn't that be JAFO?
Unless you are casting aspersions on his virility...

True, but then he was put through the wood chipper and spread over a wide area.

I'm sure the Eye of Zoltec could sort that out in a jiffy.

I'm sure retcon Tharg could do an equally good job.

Impaled, I believe.

True, but then he was put through the wood chipper and spread over a wide area. I do recall the movie skirt asking where Dolph was only to be told by JCVD (very Arnie like) that he was "around".

That cracks up the clean up squad at CSI every time.

At the risk of spoilers, wasn't Dolph's character put through a wood chipper at the end of number one? That is a pretty good comeback...