Messages

I felt the need to prostrate myself before the Boots of Doom..

All must kneel before the Boots of Doom.

Cheers

Jim

It was a long time ago but the funniest thing I've ever seen was John Thomson (Fast Show, Cold Feet) doing his Bernard Righton routine.  Simple, effective, well observed and also very clever balancing of your knowledge of the evil versions of the jokes and the reversal that makes them not jokes at all (but still hysterical).

"A Irishman, a lesbian and a Pakistani go into a night club ...

"... What a marvellous example of an integrated community!"

Cheers!

Jim

No offence or competition entry intended there, Jim. Was just trying to be humorously ironic in light of your post here...

M@

The irony wasn't lost on me, and I apologize again for the sense of humour failure that accompanied!

Cheers

Jim

I saw Michael McIntyre last week too, I have to say he's my favourite comedian at the moment

I did like his routine about the whole "'People You're Allowed To Sleep With List' that couples come up with ...

"My girlfriend said: George Clooney, Brad Pitt ..."

"I said: your sister."

Cheers!

Jim

It hardly needs saying, but I am at a complete loss as to why EoD needs remaking.  What could you bring to it?  

It's much, much worse than we thought.

What could you bring to it? Mel (I'm not playing a character called "Ronnie") Gibson and NO Pendleton?

Much like the rumoured DiCaprio-backed live-action version of Akira, this abomination must be stopped.

Cheers!

Jim

What a cocking dreadful world we live in where the News of the World and the Vicar of Dibley are the people's favourites.

This, unfortunately, is the problem with democracy ... the lowest common denominator really is what people want. I'm afraid they do want to bring back hanging, national service and the birch*, and if they could get away with sending all the darkies home then I'm pretty sure that would be high on the list, too.

This why, on just about any given subject, a referendum is a REALLY bad idea.

Cheers!

Jim

* Thank you, HMHB.

Hmm. Is it because Peter Kay is loveable and unpretentious, and almost totally lacking edge?

I have nothing against Peter Kay that couldn't be solved by killing him with a brick.

As for Lee Evans ...? Norman Wisdom, but even less funny? How is that even possible within the realms of normal physics? Surely that's like "Absolute Zero but colder" ...?

I thoroughly approved of Charlie Brooker's spirited defence of offensive comedy in last week's Screenwipe, which has rapidly become my only bit of "must watch" TV in the week.

Cheers!

Jim

[Love!]

Letters fall in the second, to a folding chair across the back.

Besides, letters only have, like, y'know, words and stuff. We have pictures. And sometimes we have boobies and everything*.

What's that you say? When Amstor did this thread, there were prizes? Well, yeah, that's true, but that just cheapened the whole thing. Now, people enter for love. D'you hear me? Love![/i]

I certainly haven't been selling your artwork as limited edition prints on eBay at a handsome profit, that's for damn sure.

What?

Jim

* But not for a while. We need to do something about that.

Sorry for the outburst. On top of all that, I've had this fecking cold for over a month and can't shift it, resulting in a cough that makes me sound like I smoke 40 a day* and has given me a near-permanent headache.

Suffice to say, I'm not in the best of moods. Please adjust my posts by +/- 30% grumpy to achieve normal levels of bad-tempered tetchiness.

Some time between now and Christmas, my demeanour should improve noticeably. Please bear with me until then ...

Cheers!

Jim

*Given that I quit two years ago, the irony of this only adds to my sunny disposition.

M@

I'm absolutely up to my fucking eyes in it at the moment: I have two exams next week that I'm quite likely to fail, I'm trying to sort out adapted accommodation for my recently disabled mother who -- it now turns out -- may also have problems with her mental capacity as well. I'm fighting with my employers over their complete failure to develop my career despite my taking a pay cut and funding myself through a professional qualification on the understanding that this would lead to the aforementioned development. I have a fantastic freelance opportunity that I'm having to put on hold while I deal with all of this.

Forgive me if I get just a little fucking tetchy with someone clogging up this competition thread with the same feeble fucking joke time after time after time, and making my job organizing this thing just a little bit more of a faff than it needs to be.

Bah.

Jim

i dont like people who get cocky with my posts

It hardly needs saying, but I am at a complete loss as to why EoD needs remaking.  What could you bring to it?  CGI radiation glow?  Bigger secret bunker?  Knowing remarks about 9-11 and Gulf War Syndrome?  I may have to sell my TV.

I agree. Bob Peck's performance in EoD is magnificent, I can't imagine anyone approaching Joe Don Baker's swagger as Jedburgh, and the Kay/McNeice double act as Pendleton and Harcourt? FFS.

Who in their right mind would look at EoD, one of the defining moments of 1980s television, and think "Hey, yeah! Let's improve that" ...?

Cheers!

Jim

NO! THIS IS THE WINNER!

Can I point out that this is REALLY annoying? I keep checking this thread when it bumps to the top of the "Active Topics" list so I can keep track of the entries.

SEVEN times now, you've posted essentially the same one-line comment under a re-post of someone's entry which

a) Makes it just that little bit more troublesome for me to keep track of everyone's entries

and

b) Wasn't actually funny in the first place.

Would you mind awfully packing it the fuck in?

Cheers

Jim

I remember the new Eagle had a 3D story once and I tried to draw some 3d stuff myself and to my surprise it actually worked.

There was a rather fine effort by Cam Kennedy in Eagle, IIRC. Most of IPC's youth group were at it around that time, excepting 2000AD. Battle did a couple of 3D strips as well.

Cheers!

Jim

Why shouldn't someone in 111 years time know a song from the present day which would have been widely available for decades to come in CDs, MP3s, etc, when I know bits of ballads from Shakespeare, and Victorian music hall songs? Unlikely, yes, but far from impossible.

Except that during period between 1897 and today, there haven't been two nuclear wars and the near-annihilation of civilization by zombies. Plus. we're talking about a judge who has supposedly been devoting their life to the Law since the age of four.

On top of that, it's been shown that the Judges very heavily censor historical records and material (as in John Cassavetes is Dead) and, although they may have lightened up under Volt and Hershey, I can hardly see a stampede to access unbanned MP3s of the 20th Century.

It's just one of those niggling little details - I had a similar thought in the first episode as I mentally ticked off the world-shattering events that were transpiring throughout whatsisname's stint in prison.

Cheers

Jim

Edit to add: Ooh, look. 2000 posts. I'm an Evil Cyborg, me!