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Life is drokking fantastic 'cause Ireland are through to the 2012 European Cup footie finals and I'm gradually recovering from a two-month bout of Gastritis. (No link by the way between both events - or at least I don't think so ...)

Might I suggest that, in giving the kitchen a clean-up, you were simply choosing the lesser of two weevils?

Have to admit, I actually nodded off a couple of times during this flick. I can see that it's well made and all with some very good performances, but God, it just really seemed to drag along at stages. I've no problem with slow-paced movies in general, but this one just didn't float my boat at all. Certainly a contender for most over-rated movie this year.

Star Trek here we come!

(from Yesterday's Washington Post)

The speed of light is broken! CERN has just measured subatomic particles traveling at faster than the speed of light ! Or, in non-English: CERN (that's the European Organization for Nuclear Research to you, American) has just measured a neutrino (that's a subatomic particle to you, uh, Multicellular Organism) that traveled from Geneva, Switzerland, to a destination in Italy and managed to exceed the speed of light by 60 nanoseconds — with a margin of error of only 10 nanoseconds.

"Something exceeds the speed limit in Italy, and somehow this is news?"

If true, this is huge. The idea that the speed of light is a constant, never to be exceeded, has been fixed since the time of Albert Einstein. It's one of those operating assumptions that underlie our every action, like "single men with cats are bad marriage material" or "if TV critics praise a show for being fresh, funny and insightful, it will fail." If this isn't true, nothing is true. All the rules on which I've based my existence — "Christmas calories don't count," "the Orioles will lose," "if you like a product or service, inevitably they will change it, start charging you more, or George Lucas will add new scenes and special features." Up is up, down is down, right is whatever position Ron Paul currently occupies, and the speed of light cannot be broken.

This is so huge that the Europeans are asking us to check it. They haven't done that since the rise of the Third Reich.

If we can verify it, then it's the only real news today. It will force us to rethink all our scientific assumptions. The speed of light was supposed to be an absolute limit, like the age of consent, not a guideline, like the drinking age.

Rick Perry was right. Science is wrong. "The Big Bang Theory" will have to go off the air in shame.

But on the bright side, now maybe we can visit Tatooine after all! We just discovered it . At the rate we're going this week, "Star Wars" will turn out to be a documentary.

Still, if true, this is huge. It undermines everything we've thought since 1905.

We'll have to rethink all our other assumptions. Maybe we don't need coffee to survive. Maybe shark attacks aren't more relevant to our lives than car crashes. Maybe we should trust Greeks bearing gifts.

I've had so many of my assumptions unsettled that I have this intense urge to become a Scientologist.

It's too much. Next time we see a particle do that, somebody ought to pull it over.

What I'd like for Christmas is... for it to be banned! I mean outlawed completely and accorded the status of some particularly revolting and offensive cult, with its members being placed on a par with the criminally insane.
It's not the concept itself that I have any particular problem with – people can believe that the moon is made of green cheese for all that I care – but the fact that the bloody thing just seems to go on forever. Even before Halloween has started, the insidious beast that is Xmas creeps out from its lair, spreading its malign influence through the TV, radio and print media, and before you can say "No, not a gift of Underpants again!" you are bombarded with almost non-stop Christmas advertising, jingles and trivia for three months solid. And don't get me started on the endless, God-Awful stream of Carols and Christmas songs emanating from every bloody shop you go into.

If it was a case of starting at the beginning of December then I could just about live with that. But it's not even the end of September yet and already one of the high street stores here in Dublin are promoting their festive special offers. The fact that I am a single, childless, curmudgeonly, middle-aged git probably doesn't endear me to this time of year. And don't forget, that for many people in my position, Christmas is just a sad, lonely, miserable endurance test.

All that I can say is: Bah, bloody Humbug!

Can't stand 3-bloody-D meself. The glasses make me nose and ears hurt, and every time I've to wear them I feel like I should have gone to Specsavers.

Anyone know when / if Blade Runner is getting a 30th Anniversary cinema re-release next year? (I know, having seen the movie when it first came out, I feel old thinking about this too!)

I've heard of talking bollocks, but this is ridiculous!

Had a mini-version of the London Riots take place last night in our gaff. The dodgy geezer who I posted about a few weeks back - on suspicion that he or one of his equally dodgy, skanger, drug-addicted mates had been stealing our post - had another of his little "get-together's" in his flat. In no time at all, the house was a disaster zone, what with the screaming, fighting, music-blaring, banging, slamming and kicking of doors and all the other aggro caused by this twat and his drunken, drug-fuelled pals. One of the other blokes who lives in the house had politely asked him to tone things down but to no effect. Couple of people in this party ended up stabbing each other - not too seriously, I think, but enough to leave large amounts of blood spatters around the front door. (Gravitational drops I think they are called in CSI?)

I wouldn't mind, but after a similar amount of hassle a couple of weeks back, I'd had a word with him and he promised that there would be no repeat performance. This time 'round I just shopped him to the Landlord. Not something I'm entirely comfortable about doing - having once been homeless myself - but if you give a guy a chance and he's either too dumb or simply too selfish to give a toss, well then tough bloody luck to him.

What has eight legs and kills his girlfriend? Squid Vicious.

If you've seen the film "Brazil" then you'll know to anticipate a large, circular hole being drilled into your roof and Tax Inspector shock-troops leaping down from it into your living-room to arrest you. Be sure to ask for a receipt for your receipt and make bloody sure that your sirname is not "Buttle" nor, for that matter, "Tuttle".

Hey, Emp! Just want to echo Tordel's post and hope that whatever it is that's making life spug for you can be sorted out. Cheers, mate!

I would have said that he's too big for his boots but I'd be kicking myself afterwards.

I ordered a CD online from Amazon.co.uk over four weeks ago. I received an email from them a couple of weeks later to confirm that it had been shipped out to me, followed a couple of weeks after that by another email asking me to rate the product. Problem is: I never received it! I've already checked with the postal sorting office and they were unable to help me. I've now come to the conclusion that some miscreant in the building in which I live is stealing people's post, that is anything which looks like it could be sold.

Not only that, but one of the lads in the flat above me received a bank debit card in the post - which he never applied for in the first place! - but no follow on letter giving the PIN number for the card. We can only assume that somebody in the building tried to pull a fast one by falsely applying for the card on his behalf, and it's only dumb luck that my mate intercepted the card leaving the scumbag with just the Pin number and nothing else.

Our suspicions at the moment are centred on a new bloke who moved into the building a few weeks ago. This is down to the fact that prior to him moving in we never had any problems like this, and also the guy has "DODGY MOTHERFUCKER" written all over him.

Now I'm a fairly liberal, easy-going, live-and-let-live kind of chap for the most part, but when it comes to stealing people's post, well frankly, I think it's a hanging offence and anyone who engages in such activities is about the lowest, most miserable piece of pond-life that you can get. Thing is though, how do we actually prove that he's the villain in question? I'm generally in work when the post does arrive so it's not as if I can actually stake out the letter-box and hallway in the hope of catching him out. One possible I idea that comes to mind is to ask the Landlord to install some sort of hidden camera in the hallway, but I'm not sure how he'd react to that. Suggestions from the board much appreciated!

Scariest thing in 2000ad? Price increase.