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6/10 is above average so I consider that a pretty good score.

As for the Millar stuff, it's good because it's so over the top and extreme. I can only take so much of the modern "whiny" superhero before I want Millar's Captain America to swoop in and beat him to death. With an adamantium toilet.

Hello there chaps.

Recently I've been getting large payments of money for messing about in a library. Thanks Mr. government! Sadly, I no longer get my free money but I'll always have the memories. That and the mile-high stack of comics I've squandered my dough on. So join me as I throw spelling and punctuation out the window and personally review each of my purchases and (using my patented "out of ten system") guide you towards the good stuff and away from the not-so good!


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1) Essential Fantastic Four vol. 1-5

Stan Lee and Jack Kirby at the height of their powers, delivering one great issue after another. The plot switches effortlessly between action, melodrama and comedy (even self-parody). It was nice to have a break from all the grim and gritty stuff in modern comics and just reading something more fun. Volumes 1, 2 and 5 are probably the best but 3 and 4 are very good as well but do suffer from having too much of the inhumans. Nobody likes the inhumans.

Even for 5 volumes the price is ridiculously low for these and you get almost 10 years worth of continuity, which is nothing to be sniffed at. Even if you don't consider yourself a FF fan (I didn't) it's well worth checking these out.

Volume 1
RATING: 7/10

Volume 2
Rating: 6/10

Volume 3
Rating: 5/10

Volume 4
Rating: 5/10

Volume 5
Rating: 6/10




2) Essential Wolverine vol. 1-4

I've been a hardcore fan of the old canucklehead for some time now and buying these was a matter of course. I got vol. 2 years ago and loved it so I had high hopes for the other volumes. Vol. 1 was very different to 2 in terms of tone but it was still a cracking good read from start to finish. This was long before Marvel (and Garth bloody Ennis) managed to turn Wolverine into a flat one-dimensional hairball with a temper. The early tales were witty with a nice dark edge. So, good stuff all round. As I said, I'd read Vol. 2 before and loved it. Some bizarre stories but always readable.

That brings us to Vol. 3. This started good but got a bit dull towards the end. Some of the stories are seriously bad and an initially promising foray into Wolverines mysterious past becomes a confusing, ridiculous load of baloney. Vol.4 takes us surprisingly up to date. It's easily the worst volume with stories that dredge up old characters and do nothing with them. As with vol. 3 the pages are scanned from the original colour versions, which makes things look muddy and grey. All in all, I was pretty seriously disappointed with vol. 4. Despite my disappointment I still feel I should recommend the first two volumes which are well worth a read. Volume 3... not so good but still worth a look see.

Volume 1
RATING: 7/10

Volume 2
RATING: 7/10

Volume 3
RATING: 4/10

Volume 4
RATING: 3/10




3) The Incredible Hulk vol. 1-4

Unable to resist the urge to throw my money away I inevitably wandered off my usual beaten track into strange unfamiliar territory. Based on little more than the conclusion that it didn't look totally crap I decided to buy me some Hulk. After all, how can you go wrong with a big green man smashing things?
This particular Hulk story arc was written by one Bruce Jones. Brucie is apparently some horror writer guy and - judging by the lavish praise heaped on him on the back cover of the book - he's pretty popular. In my opinion however this guy didn't have a clue what he was doing. I mean, I'm all in favour of "deepening" the character and exploring new directions but I also need to see the Hulk smashing some things to keep me interested. Even ignoring the lack of smashing these stories weren't great. I've never been a big fan of plots that twist and turn all over the place and this one certainly does that.

After a decent enough start, the problems soon set in and by vol. 3 things are pretty bad. To sum up - I should have known better than to buy The Incredible Hulk. Also, the covers were really cool. Please don?t ask me why I got 4 volumes of a comic I didn't even like. I have problems.

Volume 1
RATING: 6/10

Volume 2
RATING: 5/10

Volume 3
RATING: 3/10

Volume 4
RATING: 2/10




4) Daredevil vol. 1-3

I picked up some Daredevil around the same time as the Hulk. I'd heard that Brian Michael Bendis had done some good stuff with the character and wanted to investigate him further. The first volume was written by famed director Kevin Smith which immediately set off huge, giant alarm bells ringing in my head. Against my better judgement I bought it anyway. Wow. Wow-wee. Never before or since have I read a comic so unimaginably awful as this one. The plot is so childish and inane it makes the scribblings of a 12-year-old child seem like Shakespeare by comparison. The book was like a tribute to everything that is wrong with modern comics. To top it all off, it even had a foreword by Ben Affleck.

After this truly abominable beginning you may think that I would steer clear of Daredevil but I soldiered bravely on. Fortunately vol. 2 was much better than its predecessor. The story was pretty silly but the overall tone was light-hearted enough to get away with it. It was no masterpiece but it was well written and drawn and that was good enough for me.

Vol. 3 marked the beginning of Brian Michael Bendis' term on Daredevil. It was critically acclaimed and pretty much beloved by fans of the character so naturally I didn't like it. The art was totally crazy with its constant style changes and weird colouring but I didn't really mind that as it was pretty nice to look at. The script was sort of a detective story but I managed to figure out early on what was going on so I didn't really enjoy it much. The plot was pretty cliched which probably explains why the worlds worst detective (clue: me) was able to figure it out.

Volume 1
RATING: 2/10

Volume 2
RATING: 5/10

Volume 3
RATING: 4/10




5) Lucifer vol. 1

After a disappointing experience with Daredevil and the Hulk I was keen on picking up something that was different but also good. Accordingly I went for Lucifer, a title I'd normally never pick up. Amazingly it wasn't totally awful OR completely impenetrable. Some fantastic art really helped but I have to say, it was mostly down to Mike Carey. I always liked his stuff when he was working for 2000AD, and Lucifer (judging by this volume anyway) is great as well. Makes me wonder why I haven't bought any more volumes... Oh right. Money.

Volume 1
RATING: 7/10




6) Powers vol. 1

I heard good things about Powers so I bought it. I didn't like it. IT WASN'T ANY GOOD.

Volume 1
RATING: 3/10




7) The Ultimates vol. 1-3

Mark Millar + superheroes = good. This isn't always true but it certainly is the case with The Ultimates. The only time Millar isn't ruthlessly mocking Marvels most beloved heroes is when he's putting them in some gigantic action sequence. This has about as much brains as a film like Conan the barbarian but it's just as enjoyable. For the most part it's as subtle as a sledgehammer but just enough effort has gone into plot and characterisation to let Millar get away with it. Mad but great.

I should point out however that vol. 4 is taking an extremely long time for Millar to write. I mean VERY long. So you may want to... buy the other volumes slowly... or something.

Volume 1
RATING: 8/10

Volume 2
RATING: 6/10

Volume 3
RATING: 7/10




8) The Punisher vol. 1-5

Speaking of extreme: MAX comics' The Punisher is one of the most violent and explicit comics on the shelves at the moment. It's also pretty damn good and could be worth picking up - provided you're not offended by curse words. There's certainly quite a few of them and although it's appropriate given the darkness of the characters, your head can sometimes be left swimming with all the effin' and blindin' going on. Regardless of this, there can be no doubt that Ennis has taken a character that was practically a parody of himself and turned him into a truly sinister villain, a ruthless killing machine with no mercy or emotion. A pretty unusual protagonist for a comic book. I haven't always loved everything Ennis has written but his work here is definitely worth checking out.

Volume 1
RATING: 7/10

Volume 2
RATING: 6/10

Volume 3
RATING: 7/10

Volume 4
RATING: 6/10

Volume 5
RATING: 6/10




9) Astonishing X-Men vol. 1-2

After seeing Kevin Smith "write" Daredevil it wasn't too much of a surprise to see Joss Whedon writing X-Men. It seems anyone can be a comic-book writer nowadays... To be fair, Whedon does a much, much better than Kevin Smith and I have to say I preferred his work to that of Grant Morrison's, which had it's own kind of weird appeal but didn't entirely make sense. These volumes had some good art and Vol. 1 had a very good script too. Vol. 2 was not so good script-wise but it's still worth buying. I plan to buy vol. 3 when it comes out but unfortunately Whedon, like Millar, is taking his sweet time. By the time they both finish writing their respective volumes I'll be paying for them with my pension money.

Volume 1
RATING: 8/10

Volume 2
RATING: 5/10




10) Wolverine vol. 1

Millar again, this time writing one of those "Wolverine is being mind-controlled!" stories that crop up every few months. Great art by John Romita Jr. and lots of mindless action help elevate this over a pretty basic script.

Volume 1
RATING: 6/10




11) Forge vol. 1-8

Now THIS was an interesting find. I was in a Euro store and happened upon a few volumes of this. They were dirt-cheap and I really enjoyed them. Basically Forge is an anthology of various comics that were published by Crossgen comics. With an average of 200 pages per volume and five stories per volume there was plenty of reading and the stories were all fairly original and engaging. The art was something else altogether, with some truly fantastic images and double page spreads. I'm not going to do separate score for each volume because the stories are all carried over into the next volume. Also I couldn't be bothered to mark every single one individually. If you ignore all of my other recommendations don't ignore this one. Forge is cheap and cheerful, give it a try.

Volume 1
RATING: 7/10




Whew! Well I certainly hope that those of you that have read through all this (yes, all three of you) will find my reviews useful or at least that you didn't find them patronising or offensive. Apologies for poor spelling and punctuation but I cant type.g Ood . Me gramar bad also.

If you've read anything good yourselves lately or just want to give me some money to buy more Hulk comics then let me know!

Jared.

Why not get Lucifer instead.

Vol. 1 was good. Vol. 2 looks like it might be good too. It's all good!

Gotta second the recommendation for Morissons Animal Man. Great stuff. I didn't buy it cause, y'know, I didn't have any money but I did read it. And it's good...

Helltrekkers, The Scrap, Roadkill, Teenage tax consultant, Balls Brothers and Ace Trucking Co. were all underrated.

Great stories and original ideas too.

Helter Skelter was trash. Awful script, OK art. If I recall correctly, the reason Carlos' art wasn't up to standard was because his new house was partially underwater at the time.

Cover: Great cover. Good use of colour. Hate the taglines. Always hate the taglines. At least it's not exactly a pun this week.

7/10

Dredd: Dull art but the plot is so exciting I didn't really notice. I wonder what's going to happen?

8/10

Malone: Another cliffhanger. Pah. Not so good this week. A bit predictable. But enjoyable.

5/10

Stone Island: Going waaay too fast. Still enjoyable.

6/10

Banzai Batallion: Every artist chosen for this series has captured the characters perfectly and Steve Roberts has been no exception. great detailed art and excellent colouring. Len O'Grady is a distant, unpleasant memory.

And what about that script? Brilliant, brilliant stuff. Am I alone in thinking that there a hint of something vaguely sinister about the ending? I am really liking this story!

7/10


Dante: I read this on the way back from the shops, that's how little I cared. This weeks installment was somehow better than the others but one average installment for half a dozen bad ones is not a good deal.

4/10

Overall: Great prog with some Dante.

7/10

A belated Happy Birthday from me too Tanky.

Hope you get something good. Oh wait! You already did!

Hooray!

Wils must have written some of the gayest poetry ever in order to win Malchi over...

Those Bizarre ladies were not very nice looking. I prefer it when the blood is on the inside of the lady instead of on the outside.

My favourite is Chief Judge Death.

He brought a lot of fresh thinking into the department and really reduced the level of crime.

Carlos is the best artist for Dredd. Bolland was about the second-best artist after Carlos. I liked old McMahon work on the character too. I dont like his new style.

Steve Dillon was (and IS) a great artist and a great Dredd artist too. Henry Flint's work is about equal with that of Dillon in my opinion.

Rufus Dayglo really impressed when he last drew some judge stuff. Hopefully we'll see some more of his stuff in the future...

The Office and anything else connected to Ricky Gervais is rubbish.

The Spiderman films are 80% dull.

Nikolai Dante is rubbish as well. Robbie Morrison hasn't written anything good in a long time. In my opinion.

Gordon Rennie is a talented writer but his work on Dredd is seriously overrated. Blood trails was possibly the worst Dredd story I've ever read. Of course I haven't read any Millar or Morrison Dredd's yet so...

Alan Moore is a very good writer. Sometimes. The League of extraordinary gentlemen and Promethea weren't any good though. Smax was also disappointing.

Music is overrated. 90% of it is endless cursing or some tone-deaf idiot imploring women to shake "they asses".

The grand canyon is overrated. I've seen it. it's essentially a big hole in the ground.

Modern art.

Arthouse cinema.

Drugs.

Dexters laboratory.

Cricket.

Anime (big time).

Lindsay Lohan

Kittens/cats.

Chinese food.

Brand-name clothes.

Reproducing.

And so on.

PROG 1500!

Dredd: Okay so I'm the only one who doesn't think Kevin Walkers art is great. It's not nearly as detailed as it used to be (see prog 2000's ABC warriors for proof) and his colouring really doesn't help.

None of which affected my enjoyment of the story which was excellent. I hear Origins is over 20 parts in length. I thought it would  be around 15. I am VERY, VERY happy now.

8/10

Malone: New droid, fresh story idea - and no melodramatic cliffhanger! I enjoyed this a lot. Some real promise here. Hope there'll always be room for regular one-off thrills from now on...

7/10

Stone island: Another original and involving story. I was enjoying the prison stuff so I was almost annoyed when the monster appeared. Still, could be good.

6/10

Dante: More of the same. I race through this now. Dull and endlessly repetitive. What has happened in 15 or so episodes of this could easily have been handled in about 8.

3/10

One sour note in an otherwise great prog.

I agree with other boarders on this. Nigel's talents were never properly put to use. Maybe they thought the rubbish stories would seem better if they had decent art. In any case it'd be great to have him back in the progs once more.

I still remember Nigel's work from Sonic the comic. That man draws a mean Knuckles.

Figurines are not my cup of tea really but I couldn't resist picking up the Punisher issue in Easons seeing as how it was only three Euros! I've become a bit of a punisher fan lately.

Now my little punisher man sits on my graphic novels.

Sometimes he tells me to do things.

Happy birthday grumpy fucker!

That dwarf will never be the same again...

Speaking of opinions and such, I say the Meg is no good at the moment. I bought that damn Meg for years and even put up with those annoying articles. I mean why keep reviewing things JUST TO SAY HOW RUBBISH THEY ARE?!

Uh, anyway. I dont read the Meg any more. The only thing I miss is Charlie's War and that's because I'm a bit of a completist. If we're talking about improving the Meg, I'd like to see a different approach to the stories. Maybe more fantasy stories or contemporary thrillers or horror. In order to exist seperate to 2k the Meg need to offer a different reading experience.

With regard to Dreddworld stuff I think the less there is of it the better. I haven't liked anything except Armitage and that was because it was so totally different to Dredd that it might as well have occured in a different universe.

I dont think 2k and the Meg are the best they've ever been. I for one would like to see more one-off stories in 2k and a bit more diversity in terms of writers. I still remember how close we came to an all-Abnett prog. Not good...