Messages

Actually I have to go. Now.

Back eventually.

J.

Hello there everyone.

Some of you may remember my little contribution to the site, a brief four page story featuring the
absent-minded perp Scott Pretzel. Clearly the best thing about this little tale was the fabulous art
provided the marvellous Mr Rotts (thanks again Rotts!) but even so I enjoyed the experience of
writing it so much I thought I might actually do a follow up.

The afforementioned tale has recently been completed, however I still need someone to do all the hard
stuff like drawing and putting in speech bubbles, as these skills are sadly beyond me (some would say
that writing fan fiction is beyond me too, but thats another matter entirely). Thusly I humbly
request the skills of any boarder of an artistic persuasion who would'nt mind drawing my words.

I appreciate that many of you have other commitments such as friends, family and work as well as
other projects. I also realise many of you are now slaves to the all-mighty Paul von Scott and are
forced to toil endlessly in the hellish pits of Gehenna in order to meet deadlines. But hey, It
doesn't to me how long you take to do it. I'm happy to let you take as long as you want, no problem.
So if you're interested then I'll send you a copy of my humble script (Over 3 pages longer than the
last one, wow!) and you can let me know what you think. Unfortunately I'm not online much but
hopefully this shouldn't pose too much of a problem.

Jared.

"No reward for you today, crazy round man!"

ps. If any artists would like to help design propoganda posters, informative comic strips etc. in
order to help the Triangularian cause then simply let Jared know and he'll be happy to let you know
whats required.

pps. Should anyone at all desire to make cash donations to further the aims of the Triangularians
simply let Jared know and he'll be happy to put yu in touchwith the relevant individuals.

ppps. Jared's autobiography, simply entitled: Jared: a life half lived, will be available to buy in
all good bookstores from November 15th. Copies are likely to fly off the shelves so should you wish
to reserve a copy simply call Golzar on 8403274. Dont delay: order today!

well Umpty what It may well be that what you have here is what we in the trade call a moron.

By which I mean that this lady, like sooooooo many others believes that TV shows like friends are a realistic demonstration of how real life works. This woman may go to a therapist because of your dog or create problems where there are none. However she still seems better than a great deal of the women out there.

Tell here the truth and if she's still unreasonable and it's time to get rid of her then for God's sake be polite because you will no doubt bump into this woman everywhere you go forever more.

J.

You can just feel the absolute terror and bewilderment of the subbers when their issue doesn't arrive on time once again...

Lovely icon Rotts!

J.

[?]

Way? thinking?! of?

?

I hate Interceptor all the more bacause Tharg most likely printed it on the basis of Edgintons previous work. Just like with Ennis.

If you found it mediocre fair enough but after the first few dozen cliches and irritating forced swearing etc. I found it unbelievably dull.

Tharg was doing well for a while now but Sinister dexter is back and a whole tidal wave of crap looks set to arrive soon.

Ah sweet pessimism...


J.

Thats just to show how mad I am.



Damn cake...

[WORST STORY EVER!]

Well thank God thats over.

Reading Interceptor is very much like having Ian Lee screaming crap in your ear non-stop. I realise
now, having finally forced myself to finish reading it that it is the worst series I have ever read.
In all honesty I can think of no other series that has been quite so bad, quite so offensive to the
intelligence of the reader as this one. I was tolerant initially but things simply got steadily worse
as time went by until it descended into complete and utter tripe. The last part was the worst insult
of all, culminating in an ending so unfathomably atrocious the only way it could be worsened was when
the writer made clear his plans for an inevitably abominable sequel.

Though I have only been reading since prog 1111 I have seen the worst crap 2000ad had to offer
through some ill-chosen back-issues. And I'm sure everyone remembers the delightful mr Bison and his
hilarious adventures. I'm willing to admit that Tharg does hit the mark more often than not but
when he screws up he reeeeaallly screws up big time. So join me if you will as I examine Interceptors
agonising run in a lecture I like to call...

... WORST STORY EVER!

Part 1

First impressions. Yay! Steve Pugh and Ian Edginton! Noooooo! Len O f*ckin' Grady! Noooooooooooooooo!
Hmm. A black doctor as a lead character, thats a nice change. Hmm. Dialogue seems a little crude.
Action seems a bit forced. Still time though.

Part 2

God, I hate Len O'Grady colouring. HATEHATEHATE. Feeble excuse to have women parad arounf in her
undies. Childish and insulting to the intelligence. Plot is developing though.

Part 3

Dialogue advances the plot quite well. Lead character still in her undies. Another female in a
ridiculously tiny mini skirt. Len O'Grady is a terrible colourist... One good joke, awful
cliffhanger. Still time for it to get good though.

Part 4

Awful dialogue this week. Character STILL in her knickers.  More crap dialogue and just to cap it all
off Len has already reched the part of the story where he cant be bothered to colour things in. Not
much hope left for it now.

Part 5

More awful scripting and colouring to mar the fantastic art. Only good joke so far has been ruined.
Biiig plot dump as well. No hope for it now, except for the hope that it'll all be over soon.

Part 6

Worst part yet. The attempt at injecting some emotion raised some hope despite it's crudeness but
this is soon quashed by mored idiocy and terrible dialogue. Meanwhile Len does his level best to ruin
the art, with some success. But Darius has put on some trousers at last!

Part 7

The dialogue is like something of a bad action movie, the plot has been cast aside completely, the
colouring is terrible and the characters are annoying.

Part 8

"Oh look I found a Thorium reactor! Now we can escape easily!" Also: Damn you Len! Do your damn job!

Part 9

NINE parts. Worlds most predictable plot twist this week. The main badguy is offed in an ingenious
"shoot him in the head" strategy. An incredibly formulaic ending and a sequel is strongly hinted at.

So please my fellow boarders, I beg of you, please tell me I am not alone in concern for the mental
health of Tharg an the Edginton droid. I really liked Scarlet traces. I hated Red seas, and now I
despise Interceptor utterly. Maybe I am overreacting but I just think 2000AD can do so much better.
Other series have annoyed me but it speaks volumes about Interceptors quality that it's the only
story that ever made me type up a whole post offline just so I could fully express my anger. If
you feel I'm whining needlessly tan so be it but this is one direction I hope the progs stay away
from in future.

So in case you just skipped all that...

1) Interceptor is shite.

2) Len O'Grady is a very bad colourist who often makes huge errors (like not actually colouring in
objects, limbs, actual people and so on).

3) Please NO MORE mindless strips full of swearing and pointless violence. Please!


I apologise for this rant, I'm all done now.

Jared.

 

Take you long to thing of that one diG?

Honestly. No standards here.

J.

Heh.

Logan answered that one in his post...

It's never safe marbles, never!

J.

"AAGGGHHKKKKK!"

[really]

Hey, Paul?

You know what I really love?

Gigantic oversized Dredd chins that's what.

Oh my, yes unless Dredd has a large chunk of the giants causeway jutting from his face I'm not satisfied.

Of course thats just my opinion, It's also my opinion however that anyone who doesn't think so is wrong, wrong wrong. And stupid as well! Dredd with a small chin that sounds like commie talk to me.

Jared.

I love these texty adventurey thingies. If the programmes themselves weren't (bizzarely) impossible to use I'd have a go meself.

>TELL NAPOLEON TO LOOK OVER HIS SHOULDER THEN GRAB FLAGELLATOR 9000

Great stuff!

J.

Thats rough going Rac. Still you cant expect to do well with regard to the ladies if you look like chief judge Hershey...

I mean, that hair! Yikes.

Thats a Cockatrice, man. It's a monster, not a demon.

In order for this to work it'd probably have to be a page or so of panels followed by a choice which leads to another page.

Ren and stimpy did one, oddly enough and it was great.

J.