Topics

Many thanks to Ian Gibson, and just as much to Wake, for the fabulous Robohunter artwork I've just received.

It seems to have involved a fair bit of work on our webmaster's part, but it's been well worth it as far as I'm concerned.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been very glad of the chance to buy art via the official site, and I'd like to encourage artists/ dealers/ private sellers to offer more here.

It seems to have gone like warm bakery products, after all.

And Mr Gibson - you've made me a very happy fish!

- Trout

Your King is bored and has decided to spend some time revelling in the adulation of his subjects.

He calls upon all of you to praise him now!

Pay tribute to your evil monarch or the consequences will be terrible!

ALL HAIL ME - IMMEDIATELY!

Yet another case of reality catching up with 2000AD.

- Trout

Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/sci_tech/2000/dot_life/2631273.stm" target="_blank">Hey you, geek!

With more people coming back on the board now, it's time for pointless pusuits, once again.

Your King commands you to waste all your employers' time and resources and bring down the western powers' economies! Bwa, ha, etc...

My timewasting idea this time is as follows: BRING BACK THE READER ART! (at least on this site)

I call on all my subjects, talented and otherwise, to post or upload some brand new but old-style Nerve Centre art submissions featuring all our favourites.

Do you have an overwhelming urge to draw Rogue Microwave Oven?

Should a green alien be crossed with a Russian rogue to create Thargolai Dante?

We all remember, don't we?

There will be NO PRIZES AT ALL for the best ones, although your evil Trouty overlord may hold you in slightly-less-poor esteem.

I'm sure Wake won't be too grumpy to add some to the site if people want to draw them and scan them. If we get enough, could we perhaps even have a little fan art sub-section?

ALL HAIL THE FISH WITH THE ABSURD IDEAS!

Your King wishes all of you a pleasant, drunken (where appropriate) and fun-filled Hogmanay.

As you over-indulge for the final time this year, please remember all the little fishes, big sharks and other aquatic creatures who, due to the incompatability of undersea environments and traditional glassware, will be limited to celebrating by eating each other.

Lang may yer lums reeks, my pathetic servants!

ALL HAIL THE FISHY KING OF 2003!

Subjects, go NOW to Uncle Umpty's excellent site ximoc.co.uk to read your evil overlord's report on Dreddcon:3.

Do not walk. RUN!

It includes various bits and pieces of interest, at least to this fish, picked up at the convention.

Observe my piscine power as I finally lay to rest the argument over whether Scarlet Traces is a reprint.

Enjoy the exclusive hints about Henry Flint's plans to bring back a classic 2K feature.

Rub your chins - if you have chins (I have four) - at Siku's attitude to his "extraordinary" rendering of Dredd's mandible.

Plus lots of other stuff, hideously over-written, and some slightly poor pics of the creators themselves.

Given this is your King's first attempt at reporting on such an event, he would appreciate comments from any of you on how successful he has been.

However, bear in mind that I'm better than all of you and your comments count for NAUGHT!

Plebby fools.

- ALL HAIL THE MUTANT MONARCH!

Link: http://www.ximoc.co.uk" target="_blank">Fanboy heaven

This fish has instructed his fat Scottish minion to create a new poll asking you all what you got for Christmas.

This is the King's first-ever poll, mainly because he does not believe in democracy. Unwilling to sully my hands with such a plebiscite, I have enlisted the help of said minion.

Any option not covered in the poll can, of course, be posted here.

Who got the weirdest present?

(BTW: The Trout got a very cool mobile phone which is usable with fins, LOTR on DVD, sweets including Hershey bars, too many socks, various books including a history of US comics and some clothes including a huge pair of incredibly garish Superman boxer shorts.)

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY CHRISTMAS FISH!

Here's hoping one of you technophiles out there can help a gutted Trout.

I bought Mrs Troutman a DVD of Bollywood dance scenes (she's Asian) for Christmas, a well-received and, I'm proud to say, fairly thoughtful gift.

However, the bastard thing will only play in black and white.

It starts off with what seems like a US classification certificate, but there's nothing else on it to indicate it's the wrong region.
I'm playing it on a PS2, which is pretty limited as these things go.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to see the bingly-bongly musical numbers in their full, gloriously tacky colour?
I'd be very grateful and might even stop torturing people in my hideous piscine dungeons for a few hours!

- Trout

This fish won't be back on the board for a few days and is leaving safe in the knowledge his followers will deal with any rebellious mischief.

But, for now, I wish you all a very fishy Christmas and a wet New Year!

Ensure you eat plenty of sprouts, and think of my fishy evil as the results are manifested...

FOR CHRISTMAS WILL BE MERRY BECAUSE THE TROUT HAS COMMANDED IT!

- I saw three Trouts come sailing by...

I don't know what the weather's like down in sunny England, but north of the border we're all freezing our extremities off.

I would therefore like to take the opportunity to defend a much-maligned Rogue Trooper character - good old Helm.

If it wasn't for my new biochip beanie, as bought at Dreddcon, I might be lying frozen in a doorway as we speak!

All the time we've been wondering just what Helm was good for and - even though he's really not made of wool, I admit - we missed the obvious fact that he was keeping Rogue's mohawk warm!

Good old Helm!

- Trout

Many thanks to Wake for including my poor photography from Dreddcon in the website event pics section.

That's just the first installment - I'll send a few more once they've been used on Ximoc.

Coming soon: What I learned at Dreddcon, with lots of little bits and pieces of insight into 2K and Meg strips past and present, including:

Why Scarlet Traces really is a reprint

How Henry Flint is to bring back a classic 2000AD feature

and a real beauty

Why Siku did big chins and what he thought of all the criticism.

Links coming soon.

- Trout

Is this the fastest the board has ever taken on so many replies in one period, Wake?

I'm having genuine problems keeping up!

I realise the irony of asking this in yet another thread. Sorry!

(BTW I take it Demon Chicken is really Scott Nestel, then? Can't see reference to it elsewhere. Forgive me if I've missed the relevant thread.)

- Trout

Well, it was worth a try.

- Trout

The other day in the chatroom, Gary Wilkinson expressed the poor sad opinion that no-one cool is called Gary.

He was bemoaning the face he has the same first name as the likes of Wilmot and Glitter.

Your mighty monarch has been feeling sad for him ever since, and I'd like to call on everyone to help out with suggestions of cool people called Gary.

My own fishy brain power has led me to suggesting:

Extremely cool cowboy actor Gary Cooper

Slightly less cool (but still an actor) Gary Sinise and

The epitome of cool Gary Crant, although admittedly that's pushing it a bit.

Can anyone else help?

- Trout

Just one simple question I hope someone at Rebellion will answer for me.

How many tickets for Dreddcon have been sold in advance?
(I know they'll be available at the door, too, but I would appreciate an indication.)

- Trout

I'm noting an increasing tone of exasperation in Wake's posts.

For example, in a current thread he said: "Do you really need "For Help click Help" on every page?"

I, myself, am guilty of asking stupid questions, but this seems like a fine source of fun.

Add your questions to Wake here:

Wake, the motorised coffee cup holder at the front of my computer is broken. Can you help me?

:-p

- Trout

I just e-mailed Uncle Umpty my name and address and got the same e-mail back.

Please tell me it didn't go to everyone. If it did, that's not what I meant to do.

What happened?

- Trout

Upfront, I'm stressing I'm really looking forward to Dreddcon, I'm sure it will be great and I am generally very happy with the directions my two favourite publications have been travelling in lately.

However:
Why am I slightly unnerved by Rebellion's apparent lack of coordination?

Why haven't we been bombarded with detail about Dreddcon, in the hope of selling more tickets?
Why don't we even know which creators will be there?

Why do Rebellion NEVER pick up their phone? I know from at least one other message on the board that I'm not the only one who's experienced this problem.
In the end, I just bought one over the net. (I was reluctant to do so due to company rules on the use of my computer.)

Why are there other apparent holes in coordination?
A good example will be the subscriber (was it Tips?) who got a free graphic novel and - astonishingly - didn't know why!
Surely they should be trumpeting their brilliance with every free gift? How much effort does it take to include a short letter of explanation?

Obviously, the priority is getting the publications out on time and, on the basis of that record, the company is certainly run well.

However, given the emotional investment every comics fan has in the industry - and the efforts to keep it healthy and bring in new readers - I can't help expressing these criticisms about the marketing approach to 2K and the Meg.
There are a few successes, I admit - notably this website, which is simply terrific.

I sincerely hope someone from Rebellion will stick up for themselves, reply to this and put my mind at rest.
Sorry for the rant, folks.

- Trout

I'm willing to bet one of you fun-loving people knows the name of the band Ricky Gervais (The Office) was in during the 80s and can point me in the direction of an embarrassing pictues of him.

We want to have a laugh in our office and my web-fu remains weak.

Anyone help?

Cheers,
your mighty monarch

I know they weren't necessarily the most popular stories in the comic, but I'd like to see more international judges appear.

I was extremely impressed with Brendan McCarthy's original Brit-Cit judge designs and frankly blown away by Will Simpson's Banana City boys, er, so to speak.

I'd like to see more of them, but, mainly due to the quality of the strip, I wasn't keen on several "foreign" lawmen, notably those from Emerald Isle, Africa, Luxor and especially the damn Cal-Hab judges.

Any suggestions, oh opinionated ones?

- The mighty fish