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I would love to see this site incorporate a scan of the wonderful panel featuring the names of so many boarders.

Is there any chance someone can sort it out?

(I'm useless with the interweb infohighway)

Is everyone else effusive with gratitude, like me?

(I'm so easy to impress)

- Trout

Today I had my official GREATEST EVER COMICS DAY!

I had just completed a happy weekend, which included a run to the comic book shop in Glasgow (when there was two months' worth of great stuff including JSA, LOEG, Filth and others), and today my postman was my hero.

ALL FOUR of my subs comics - 2K, Meg, Flash and Legends of the Dark Knight - arrived on the same day, for the first-ever time.

But now I am stuck at work, unable to read them until Tuesday night at the earliest, due to tons to do and a job that'll take all evening.

Somebody sympathise with me!

Argh.

- Trout

Saw this excellent film for the severalth time last night after finally investing in a DVD copy of it.

I did, however, avoid paying extra for Alex Ross postcards.

Anyway, I'd be keen to hear people's opinions on the film, making sure we use spoiler warnings of course.

For my part, it's one I love very much. Yes, it's not as gripping as The Sixth Sense, but in terms of setting the basic elements of a comic book against a background of near-reality it's damn clever stuff.

And the last line always gives me a shiver.

- Trout

Given the way this country is descending into chaos, your evil ruler wants to add to Britain's nightmare.

It's just after 3.20pm and I'm leaving work now.

I command all of you to down tools and leave your places of work immediately!

Go on, take the rest of the afternoon off.

- Fishy despot

This fish believes Ian Gibson, of all 2K artists, draws the best women.

His work is simply without parallel.

I offer as evidence Halo Jones and the particularly tittilating I Was A Teenage Tax Consultant, which perhaps even went a bit far.

Does anyone agree?

- Trout

Who was it that, weeks and weeks ago, wanted scans of the old Eagle strip Manix?

I finally got round to it but now I can't remember who to e-mail them to.

Sorry.

- Trout

For anyone represented by nothing but a bland grey box, this site has all sorts of fun icons, many free for non-commercial use.

They include a science fiction section and a cartoon section.

My personal favourite must be Pigpen from Peanuts. He is what I aspire to be!

- Trout

Link: http://www.iconarchive.com/" target="_blank">Lots of icons

According to a reply to a reader's letter I was perusing last night, it was the Men In Black who killed these off!

The letter asked why the drawings were no longer appearing, and the reply was along the lines of, "Is that what those things lying around the office are?"

This was around the time of Tharg's absence, when the creepy Men In Black were in residence in the Nerve Centre.

So, if you want your scribble of Judge Ulrika, Rogue Anchovy or Nikolai Panties on the Input page, you know who to blame.

Bish-OP? Do you speak for those grey men?

- Trout

I've been reserving judgement on this, because it seemed quite good but was a slowburner.

Steve Yeowell's art is excellent, especially in black and white.

BUT

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"We're going to kill God."

Oh shit. Not again.

Canon Fodder, anyone?

Or how about Preacher?

That damn line spoiled it for me, almost eclipsing last week's tremendous one-liner, "Great steaming arses!"

Anyone agree?

- Trout

It's almost become a tradition here that, as your ruler winds down towards another weekend of getting drunk and sentencing people to death, he suggests a way for us all to waste our time.

This week, I'm keen to hear your favourite limericks.

Please append your ridiculous five-line masterpieces here.

The best one will win a special title from my Royal stock of weird fishy heraldic anacronisms!

Here's mine:

There was a young man from Dundee
Who climbed a very tall tree
He felt such a clown
When he couldn't get down
And he's been there since 1903!

(hee hee)

- Your evil ruler

My ongoing reading of back progs in order - with an almost pleasant chunk of missing issues in the mid-90s - has left me wondering something.

Is there anyone here who actually stuck out that whole period and is a genuine Deca Thargo?

Sadly, financial woes at the time, and the inability to read Maniac 5 without wanting to kill someone (Mark Millar, mainly), meant I didn't stick with it.

Hence my membership of the 534 Club.

To anyone who gritted their teeth and stayed with 2000AD, how did you manage it?

Or do you disagree it was sheer torture?

- Trout

I've never been too keen on Downlode's most pointless inhabitants, so I've taken to imagining their deaths in a rather unhealthy way.

I can't help but wonder how they could be killed off by other 2000AD characters in humiliating and painful scenes.

Perhaps Dredd could lock Sinister in a Smokatorium until he chokes, or Rogue could connect up Helm's biochip to Dexter's headcase TV, thus making both characters more interesting in one fell swoop. Then shoot them.

I reckon I'd love to see Ace Garp scream, "Blaster to eggs!" and shoot their arses off.

Anyone else?

- Evil Troutman

I finally got round to seeing Dog Soldiers last night and urge anyone who hasn't to get out there and get a copy from your local Blockbuster.

Bloody hell! That was more fun than a big bag of mutant fish!

Straight-forward, old-school werewolf stuff with, wonderfully, people who can actually fight as the fodder!

Go now. Run, don't walk.

- Trout

Anyone else managed to tape/see the programme on Alan Moore from the wee small hours the other night?

I watched it last night and, despite the very low production values, was genuinely interested in his mad ramblings about Northhampton.

One or two decent yarns in there, I thought.

- Trout

Once again, your evil monarch wants to spend lots of time on a pointless exercise. Here's how it works:

Pick a comics character and cite a reason why they're what we Scots call a Big Jessie (elsewhere in the UK, a big girl's blouse).

I'm talking about statements or actions that would get you slagged off something rotten by your mates down the pub.

Others can add more reasons, or vent their spleen because someone is dissing their hero.

New characters can be added at any time, to keep the nastiness going.

I'll begin:

Johnny Alpha is a Big Jessie because he let himself get killed in a really sh*t way by the big flying thing.

Rogue Trooper is a Big Jessie because he's fallen for every back-stabbing woman he meets and has constantly made himself look a tosser.

Judge Dredd is a Big Jessie simply for uttering the line, "He ain't heavy - he's my brother!"

The Gronk is simply a Big Jessie. He's the Walter the Softy of 2000AD.

Anyone else?

- Trout

Anyone had a good laugh lately?

Entertain a bored fish, please, folks. I'd be ever so grateful.

- Trout

It's very simple really. The whole decline of comics in this country has been linked to their absence, only we've never noticed it before.

BRING BACK THE DICTATORS OF ZRAG!

- Trout

Ladies, gentlemen and others, your King has returned to the board.

Following a fortnight's blissful time spent hob-nobbing with other fishy people, I now return to grace you all with my mutant prescence.

Have I missed much?

How has the Werefish been ruling you in my absence?

And by the way, just to mention comics for once,

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Isn't it nice to get another Undercity story? This fish enjoys tales of the Undercity, with their pleasant Escape From New York flavour...


- Trout

Following the controversial Dredd disaster tale a couple of Progs ago, and after a conversation in the chatroom, I wanted to point out the spooky and disturbing prediction Grant Morrison managed in Prog 796.

In the fifth part of Zenith Phase IV, entitled State of the Union, the maestro of weirdness managed to predict, quite accurately, the feelings of many people post 9/11.

This was his description - through the words of Dr Michael Peyne - of people's reactions to the superhumans' attack on Washington.

Remember this comes from a Prog with a cover date of August 1992, more than 11 years before the World Trade Centre, Pentagon and Pennsylvania attacks.

Next to visuals of a burning Capitol building, he wrote:

"The first pictures to come in from Washington were shocking.

"Most people, myself included, seemed to feel that they were watching a film, that these scenes of devastation were special effects.

"The human mind was pushed to the limit of its ability to comprehend rapid change.

"It was fascinating to watch.

"And horrifying, of course. I mustn't forget horrifying."

Morrison has managed more predictions, I was reminded by other chatroom users, notably, IIRC, the death of John Smith, although I'm not 100% on that. Maybe I could be corrected, if necessary.

Anyway, does this give anyone else a shiver?

The whole point of this is to ask, has any other comic book story managed spooky predictions?

And has any other writer made such an insightful description of a human reaction, especially before the fact?

- Trout

If you're reading back progs in the mid-500s, there's a strange prescence lurking there.

Last night, during my re-reading frenzy, I discovered no less than two - yes, TWO! - letters from one Paul Scott of County Durham, within weeks of each other.

Yes, indeed, folks, it was our very own PVS.

In fact, one of them was a fawning list of stories explaining why Tharg is brilliant and 2K is great.

I always thought they made those up.

Paul, would you like to explain yourself?

(PS Apologies for recent absence; Trouty illness. Now Trouty holiday for two weeks. Somethingfishy is acting head of state in my absence.)

- Trout