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If I remember correctly, I got mum an electric potato peeler and dad a pair of oscillating tower fans.

Put those together and you would have an effective weapon.

WTF is this, necropost Sunday?

PMSL - last Sunday in May is Necropost Sunday - let's make it happen :-)

Teddy 'Cuddles' Baird

Born an Orphan the nurses thought it apt to name him Edward, seeing as his surname was Baird and the Strontium 90 had been a cruel catalyst in the formulation of this particular Strontium Dog's mutation. His parents, their lives lost like so many others during the war, died after a massive dose of the powerful mutagen caught them, unshielded, on the A60 outside of Mansfield, Nottinghamshire. By the time they reached the hospital their lives were stretched taught, the thread of life was plucked from them just as Edward was breached roaring into the world, his anthropomorphic mutation apparent as soon as the surgeon's knife sliced a cruel smile across his mother's bloated abdomen.

But why a bear you ask? There was a third death in the family that night, one that has remained an enigma to Edward, but one we will share in this story. Edward's parents bred toys, special toys, expensive gifts that fused genetics with basic cybernetics. His mother the biologist, his father the engineer, Edward's life and family history has always been about fusion and his parents' meddling had fused a creation that was both brilliant and bizarre. They themselves, the parents, though blessed with high IQs did not have the common sense to see that their brilliance could benefit mankind in so many bountiful ways. They only saw so far as a quick buck, and that night as they raced to meet a backer the shield of their vehicle shattered their future, their sons and itself allowing the S90 to perform it's magic and last cruel trick on their genetics and that of Mr Cuddles. Edward's mother, clutched Mr Cuddles close to her chest in fear, the tiny cybernetic teddy bear growled softly and died, it's fragile monstrous DNA having little immunity to fight such a sickening radioactive plague. As the vehicle sped erratically to the hospital, Edward's father hallucinating in and out of consciousness, the little bear lived up to his name as the radiation cuddled the dead bears DNA onto that of the unborn child.

In the picture above Teddy 'Cuddles' Baird is around 42 years old, his left eye is missing, as is some of his fur so it's definitely after the mutant uprising - where as a captured Colonel his norm jailers placed bets against him in fights with real live bears. His left ear is pierced with the 'Bear tag' a gang symbol from the Whitwell ghetto. He carries his favourite weapon, an adapted Carrington Hamley 20, and on his back is the deadly Growler - a customised gatling shotgun capable of firing eight cartridges simultaneously every five seconds and fitted with a Baird built automated loader. The Growler was used to execute 6 members of the Goldilocks gang on Rasmus IV with one shot, this ensured Baird the honour of having the record for most bounty with one shot, 6.2 Million Creds - a record held for over 23 years. Finally holding the Growler securely on his back is the 'Baird Necessities' a purpose built bandolier that holds everything an SD Agent needs, sucha as: various grenades and explosives, med-kits, and bounty checker.

So if you go out with the hoods today you'd better be in disguise, and if you go out with the hoods today you'll be taken by surprise. For every bear that ever there was, Teddy Baird will gather your bounty for certain because... he's a harder than the average Bear!

WOW!

How much Dredd Fanfiction is there on this site: http://www.fanfiction.net/search.php?keywords=dredd&ready=1&type=story

'Taxi for brown' - just had a poo

YES!

Must make an effort to compete in this one.

Dave - yes, you won ages ago

1. Archie Thrax
2. Jon Tomatoes
3. Darren Torture

HM: Dilworth Kano

Frickin' awesome month - really difficult to vote, I had good intentions to take part just ran out of time - Maybe May

I think we shouldn't miss the point about those days of painted artwork. Bisley isn't guilty for a whole offspring of the often refered "Bisley clones"(I totally disagree on  labelling  most of those guys like this).He's was rather out-spoken on this topic and those chaps who started their carrers out of Bisley achievements occasionally, found their own voice.
The Horned God was one of those moments in the 80s where the comics grew up. It's both,a piece of epic poetry and FINE ART(yes,some of those pages should be hanging on the walls of the bloody Tate Modern).Doing a quick parallel with Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns,while the story-telling is the driven-force here,Miller's drawings by themselves are frankly(no pun intended) shitty,which doesn't diminish the brilliancy of the story-telling,looking through a proper perspective upon that book.
Bisley's artwork on Horned God isn't driven by story-telling which is only functional there. It's about use of colour schemes,inovative  character's design,composition,some experimentalism and sheer power. That's why speed is so important for his approach,is like try to capture that glimpse of idea we've got in our minds,once you slow down and start to polish and overwork it too much you lose the moment,that certain freshness....and end up looking like Boris Vallejo or Alex Ross.
(Why on earth am I finishing a post with "Alex Ross"?!Ah,heck...)
   

COMIC SANS!

ncidentally, I've been re-reading Slaine out-of-order lately and was quite surprised how very poor Bisley's work looked (to me) when juxtaposed with McMahon, Bellardinelli and Fabry, the odd static image aside.

Ah, I thought it was just me!
I have always said that I think Bisley's work on Slaine will be great when he eventually finishes the pages...

I'll tell him that the next time I see him at a Con that you're at as well Rich 

Tend to agree though, it was great at the time, but the time was one of rose tinted glasses (mostly your real glasses but given a light wash with a cerulean gouache) and looking back it's kind of, "of its time" - like listening to a song ten years later, so definition is lost, the sounds not as great the hype's not there to support the lack of distinctiveness.

I am fucking LOVING this comic, and what a cover! Brilliant stuff!

Got to be 2000AD amongst that bunch, all the rest are, well, just erm... bland*?


* I did at first put 'shit' but felt that was a tad unfair.

FTFY

LMAO - excellent!

Here's my effort.  Hope you all like.

Fuck off, just go and paint something you extremely talented bastard 

Awesome stuff!

I hope banter isn't being mistaken for bullying.

No, I think it's clear what's what.

Yeah, banter is not bullying and FYI Banners I thought what you put what constructive and honest :-)