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Author Topic: Squaxx Telling Jokes  (Read 43862 times)

von Boom

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #315 on: 08 March, 2019, 04:19:30 pm »
A Roman walked into a bar, held up two fingers and said, "Five beers please."

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #316 on: 08 March, 2019, 05:32:33 pm »
You laugh,  but I remember my first day in Beijing when a shopkeeper held up crossed fingers expectantly.  I learned later that the Chinese symbol for 10 looks like an X
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

sheridan

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #317 on: 08 March, 2019, 09:35:35 pm »
You laugh,  but I remember my first day in Beijing when a shopkeeper held up crossed fingers expectantly.  I learned later that the Chinese symbol for 10 looks like an X

Never knew that:


Dandontdare

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #318 on: 08 March, 2019, 10:27:12 pm »
You laugh,  but I remember my first day in Beijing when a shopkeeper held up crossed fingers expectantly.  I learned later that the Chinese symbol for 10 looks like an X

I was a teaching assistant in a French school during my degree, and often used the "OK" sign to signal approval, but the class seemed perturbed - turns out, that circular gesture means 'nul' (zero) in France - Instead of being encouraging at their English efforts, I was gesturing *you're rubbish"

A double meaning walks into a bar and kills ten people.  Pun in, ten dead.

Anyone I meet for the next few months is getting that!  :lol:

paddykafka

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #319 on: 13 March, 2019, 08:28:44 pm »
What do you get when you cross Harrison Ford with a Dwarf?

Han So-Low.

Tjm86

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #320 on: 13 March, 2019, 09:31:01 pm »
What do you get when you cross Harrison Ford with a Dwarf?

Han So-Low.

Sorry, sizest jokes are not allowed ...

Dandontdare

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #321 on: 28 May, 2019, 08:32:52 pm »
A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in and says "do you mind if I say a word?"
The woman says "No, go right ahead".
He stands up, clears his throat and says "Plethora", then sits back down.
"Thank you," says the widow, "that means a lot."

Dandontdare

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #322 on: 28 May, 2019, 08:33:28 pm »
I mixed up the words "Yakuza" and Jacuzzi".

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #323 on: 28 May, 2019, 09:22:56 pm »

A Norse walks into a Cockney pub and the landlord says, "Why the long boat?"


Tjm86

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #324 on: 28 May, 2019, 09:43:53 pm »
Nope, don't get it.

sheridan

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #325 on: 29 May, 2019, 01:28:42 am »
Nope, don't get it.

The traditional joke is "A horse walks into a bar, the barkeep says 'why the long face?'" (coz horses have long faces, innit?)

Cockney rhyming slang for face is boat, as in boatrace.

Norsemen or vikings travelled around in longboats.

Rackle

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #326 on: 29 May, 2019, 01:37:09 am »
Thanks to this thread, Sheridan is reading them out aloud to me and doing his best Tim vine or Milton Jones impersonation.

Please make him stop!  ::) :lol:
New to the forum & still quite new to 2000AD, but there is a collection of comics older than me in residence.

Tjm86

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #327 on: 29 May, 2019, 11:05:43 am »
Nope, don't get it.

The traditional joke is "A horse walks into a bar, the barkeep says 'why the long face?'" (coz horses have long faces, innit?)

Cockney rhyming slang for face is boat, as in boatrace.

Norsemen or vikings travelled around in longboats.


Ah, thank you.  Knowing the horse joke of old, the 'longboat' bit lost me.

Shows how far my family have fallen from their days in the East end that this went straight over my head.   :-[

Kudos then, a well constructed if incredibly subtle pun.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #328 on: 29 May, 2019, 12:32:28 pm »

Police recruiters have again lowered the i.q. requirement.

The plod thickens...


paddykafka

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #329 on: 29 May, 2019, 03:07:52 pm »
I brought a lovely lesbian couple back home with me last night.

This morning they bought me a Rolex.

I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.