Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[Banners]

Sorry I thought you were a right wing selfish dick.

Well, I'm a selfish dick, certainly. No-one gets their hands on my sweet-tasting Fair Trade bananas.

;-)

M@

[Bolt-01]

Taking the topic on a tangent:

A newly qualified nurse was sent over to our stores today for a set of Fallopian tubes. :)

Cue hilarity and laughter.

Bolt-01

[Bico]

Ah, the torturing of the works newbie.  My personal favourites are the classic "go over to 'x' and ask him for a long stand", "go down to the store and get a litre of tartan paint" and the relatively new "get us a bag of screw-holes".

:)

[Queen Firey-Bou]

today , regarding my cold;

"oh well, you'll get over it"

no actually i think i'm scarred for life.

[Floyd-the-k]

when I was a union rep, I gave out a survey at work. One person finished it and stared at it with satisfaction, saying

"I completely agree with everything I`ve written here"

[therev]

Dont get me started!
I work in a Jobcentre.
BIG sign outside, lost of posters inside all saying JOBCENTRE.
People come in saying "is this the driving test centre?"
Funt them up their stupid asses.

Grrr!

[DavidXBrunt]

And the same colleage as before said to me today, when I offered to get her an ice cream as it was hot - "No thanks, I don't eat it. It's made from Paint Stripper."

[therev]

eh???
Sounds like they've already been at the paint stripper!

[Endjinn]

Working in an off-license-

Old Woman: "Do you sell stamps from New Zealand?"


What. The. Fuck?

[esoteric ed]

heh heh, reminds me of tales from sites my dad and brother used to work on, young apprentices sent out to get a glass hammer or a bucket of steam, the "long stand" also being a classic :-)


Ed

[test 4 echo]

our works newbie asked for directions to the post office, someone draws her a map...

"that great, but how am i supposed to find my way back?"

its a map dimwit, it works in both directions.

and a mates sister who comes in as he's having a trip down memory lane with his record collection and see's himn turning an LP over...

"what? there's music on both sides?"

[chimpanzor]

One good one which pops up repeatedly which ios said by people ALL OVER THE WORLD (or at least a helluva lot in england) is

"Oh you dont do x"

Which usually pops up when people ask me for cash back at work.

Them-"Can I have 50 quid cash back please"
Me-"Sorry mate, we don't do cash back I'm afraid."
Them-"Oh you don't DO cash back?"
Me-"No we dont do cash back."
Them-"Oh."

I just resent them for having to clarify the fact that we dont do it in their little minds, like its not actually true until they question it. One day its gonna be more like..

T-"I'll have 50 quid cashback plz"
M-"Sorry we dont do cashback"
T-"Oh you dont do cashback?"
M-"Haha! Yes we do actually!"
T-"Oh you DO do cashback?"
M-"No sorry sir we dont do it, sorry."

I resent them for wasting my precious oxygen that I reserve for myself in and around the checkout. Thats MY oxygen dammit and next time you waste it repeating what I have just said i will shove that clubcard up your nose!

[johnnystress]

"A newly qualified nurse was sent over to our stores today for a set of Fallopian tubes. :) "

jaykers! thats a bit worrying!! Did he/she not study the human body at nurse college?
:)

[W. R. Logan]

We used to send new Gunners to the stores for jars of P-155. Still makes me chuckle when I picture them walking back over the tank park with cans of warm steaming liquid.

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.

[Bolt-01]

She must've done, bless her, but she was nervous :)

Bolt-01