Horrible jokes

Wils · 01 April, 2005, 06:44:35 PM

"Good evening, and welcome to Kerry News. Our leading story tonight... Police are investigating the crash of a two-man light aircraft into a Killarney cemetary. On the scene, yer man, Michael O'Shite. Michael?"

"Jaysus Christ, Kathleen! It's worse than anyone could've imagined. So far, emergency teams have found a hundred and twelve bodies!"

johnnystress · 01 April, 2005, 08:29:51 PM

Enough with the Paddy bashing!
We're quite capable of doing it ourselves thanks...

Link: http://www.langerland.com/cartoons/brits.html" target="_blank">What have the Brits ever done for us?

Wils · 01 April, 2005, 08:36:21 PM

I thought my using 'Kerryman' instead of 'Irishman' would've told you of my heritage, tbh.

johnnystress · 01 April, 2005, 08:39:02 PM

Wasn't directed at you Wils- and I wasn't serious anyway :)
( wils= william? as in King Billy?! proddy west brit!! out! out! OUt! etc etc)

Wils · 01 April, 2005, 08:57:06 PM

Nope. Wils as in Wilson, cattle molesters of the Gunn clan. Er..perhaps I should have kept that to myself. ;)

I'm a half-breed. My mum's from Piercetown in County Meath, just outside of Kells.

johnnystress · 01 April, 2005, 09:11:57 PM

I'm in Meath as we speak-in Damastown, which is practically the Dublin suburbs now

I'll call in to your relatives for tea on my way home- tell them to expect me and that I like nice cakes

and buns

Adrian Bamforth · 01 April, 2005, 10:16:06 PM

I've been thinking of becoming a buddhist. Well, you only live once after all.

ADE

Carlsborg Expert. · 01 April, 2005, 10:31:32 PM

How did this thread, turn from hidieous jokes to journeys of self discovery.

Pah.

Wils · 01 April, 2005, 10:37:43 PM

*Nothing* is impossible on this messageboard!

To drag things back to normality...

Why does Rupert the Bear wear tartan trousers?

Because he's a cunt.

Carlsborg Expert. · 01 April, 2005, 10:44:07 PM

I wonder Micheal are your favourite band still *3d* ,or do you prefer Boys to Men.

A man walks into the vets with his parrot and sits next to this woman with her Alsation....

"Whats up with your pet" he asked her.

"Well",she replied,"I had a bath last night and afterwards I lay naked in front of the fire to dry,rather than use the towel.
All of a sudden Hulk here jumped on me a gave me a real rough sexual assault."

"Ah,"said the man,"so your having him newted.His balls chopped off I mean?"

She says,

" No.I'm here to get him declawed."

Adrian Bamforth · 02 April, 2005, 09:37:46 AM

http://tg.freeshell.org/images/jesusiscoming.gif">

Dudley · 05 April, 2005, 08:09:07 PM

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke.

Adrian Bamforth · 05 April, 2005, 09:09:16 PM

Q: Who has a cape and flys?

A: Pope John Paul II.

Yes I made that joke up. I am ashamed.

ADE

Woolly · 07 April, 2005, 03:10:09 AM

A woman goes to the doctors,
"Doctor, every time i remove my knickers my vagina starts singing 'Show Me The Way To Amarillo'! Is this normal?"

"Oh I wouldnt worry about it", says the doctor, "every c*nts singing it at the minute."

Adrian Bamforth · 07 April, 2005, 08:15:25 AM

A woman goes to the doctor's. She tells him that these green circles have appeared on the inside of each thigh. The doctor has a look and sure enough there they are, one on each side. "So what do you think they are Doctor?" she asks.

The Doctor thinks for a moment. "Tell me, do you have a boyfriend?" he asks.

"Yes" she replies.

"Well tell him his earings aren't real gold.

ADE