What would you do?

[House of Usher]

"Only put her life in danger if she starts talking about marriage."

"a superhero whose only real motivation is to avoid a loveless mrriage..."


Thinks: hmmmm... if she tries to get me tied down to a suburban home and kids, I'll see what I can do about putting her in the way of one of Dr. Doom's killer androids...

[Oddboy]

...A mortgage?  Time to send these bank blueprints to Doc Oc before they can agree a loan!

[Dudley]

The Husband!!!

Criminals cower before him!  Crooks cringe at the sound of his name!
Virtually indestructible, he can lift tall buildings with a single heave, melt diamonds in his laser glare, hear the sound of crime wherever it rears its head!
Women want to love him, men want to BE him!
Only one thing scares this all-conquering hero?The Ring Of Commitment!!!

[House of Usher]

...and how would he keep his secret identity secret? Surely not being a husband is his gimmick?

[Dudley]

Ah, but you see, he is the uber-Husband!  He stands for all husbands everywhere!  

?His voice is their voice??

[House of Usher]

1. Find a corner to cower in and wait to be rescued, stay awake all night, think about how I might be able to defend myself, and with what.
 
2. Stick with the farming. Keep thinking about that princess, worry about her and hope she's all right. Take up drinking.

3. Damn. I wouldn't know which way to turn, there.
 
4. Turn to a life of crime. Or go on the talk show circuit and appear in advertisements. Totally sell out.

5. Give up. Let the time-travelling robot do its thing. What does it matter anyway?

6. Make the best of things, I suppose.

7. Definitely close the beaches. Encourage people to fish off the pier now that swimming is off the cards. And open a bait shop.

8. I'd go after that monster with a big net and a harpoon gun.

9. "Didn't You Kill My Brother?".

10. Write a will.

11. "Life Is a Cabaret".

12. Wave a handkerchief on a stick out the window the next morning to signal there are people alive in the house instead of sticking my head out the door and getting shot dead by racist hillbillies.

13. Make the best of things, I suppose. Until it gets boring. Go mental. Try to fix things and escape. Like Bill Murray.

14. Carry an umbrella. Fight crime. Commit murder now and then.

15. "I Hate You so Much Right Now".

16. That's a tough one. Try to use the ring's power for good, and get twisted to evil by its malign influence (yeah, I'd give it to Boromir! lol).

17. I would cease manufacturing brogues at my family's shoe factory and turn production over to glamorous boots for giant transvestites, thus saving the workforce and keeping our community together.

18. Hmm. I'd be canny enough to film myself making the film, so that at least I get a documentary out of it.

[Roger Godpleton]

Crap. I thought this was about early Noughties R&B/Pop songs co-written by Wyclef Jean.


What would you do,
If your son was at home,
Crying all alone,
On the bedroom floor,
And he's humgry,
And the only way to feed him,
Was to,
Sleep with a man for a little bit of money yo?

[House of Usher]

"the only way to feed him" ?

I'd suggest try using a small plastic spoon or similar utensil first.

[Oddboy]

I always figured the author of that song was fairly backwards in the head.  Without wanting to sound like Thatcher too much: Get a proper job, girl!

[Satanist]

Whats she feeding her son? Lobster? If its those tiny babyfood jars cant she just shoplift like everyone else?


Tip: Only do this when theres a really fat/old security man.