On the sly.....

[Jared Katooie]

WWW.Ballydung.com


SONG

I'M JUST A FELLA WHO'S ON FOR THE CRAIC,

I'M DOING THE DIRT BEHIND THE WIFE'S BACK,

I'M NOT PROUD BUT I'M HORNY ALL THE TIME

"WHEN DID THIS ALL START?" I HEAR YOU SAY,

WELL IT HAPPENED ON OUR WEDDING DAY.

NOW LISTEN UP AND HEAR MY LITTLE RHYME.

II.

IT'S THREE GIRLS THAT I'M SHAGGING NOW

BUT DON'T THINK THAT I'M BRAGGING NOW

THEY WERE HER BRIDESMAIDS,"AH, COME ON" I HEAR YOU MOAN.

DON'T ASK THE WIFE IF SHE MINDS

'CAUSE 'CLOSED DOORS' I'M DOING IT BEHIND!

AND I DON'T HAVE TO WANDER FAR FROM HOME


CHORUS

III.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE THE MISSUS

BUT I JUST CAN'T RESIST HER SISSES.

SOMETIMES IT'S TOO HARD TO KEEP IT IN YER DRAWERS

Y'SEE I CRAVE VARIETY

BUT AT LEAST IT'S IN THE FAMILY

IT GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO IN-LAWS


(CONT'D)

CHORUS


IV.

I'VE BEEN MARRIED NOW FIVE YEARS IN ALL

MY WIFE DOESN'T SUSPECT A THING AT ALL'

I'M HAVING THE CRACK AND I MEAN THAT LITERALLY

FOUR IN A BED JUST CAN'T BE BEAT

THREE LADIES TUGGING AT YOUR MEAT

BUT THERE'S NEVER A QUESTION I'M ALWAYS HOME FOR TEA.

CHORUS

'CAUSE I'M DOING THE WIFE'S SISTER

DOING THE WIFES SISTER

DOING THE WIFES SISTER ON THE SLY.

BREAK:

RODGE: ARE YOU NOT GUILTY ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE?

PODGE: AH NO, SURE SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN RIDING BESIDES I'M TOO TIRED AFTER ME MENAGE A QUATRA.

RODGE:WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TEL YA. WHILE YOU WERE OFF BRAGGING YER MISSUS WAS OFF SHAGGING.

PODGE;HUH? WHAT ARE YA SAYING? WHO THE HELL'S SHE CHEATING WITH?

RODGE: WELL, LET ME TELL YOU IN SONG..

CHORUS

I'M DOING THE BROTHER'S WIFE,

DOING THE BROTHER'S WIFE

DOING THE BROTHER'S WIFE ON THE SLY

CHORUS (CONT'D)

DOING THE WIFE'S SISTER

DOING THE BROTHER'S WIFE

DOING THE WIFE'S SISTER ON THE SLY.

END.



Jared.

" Feckin' students. If there not stealing somethin' their.... filming somethin'! "


I need money badly.. join my cult? It's either that or a job....

[Nervie]

SONG: COLOSTA YOU, COLOSTA ME


If you?re having trouble with your bowels
Your sitting on the toilet with a constant scowl

Get a bag, it?s the latest caper

Just think what you?ll save on toilet paper.


You see at your leisure you can plip plop

Don?t worry about odour, ?cause you?re zip-locked

And having a bag just can?t be beaten

?cause you can see what you?ve been eatin?


CHORUS
It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

I said it?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.


You?re at a party, there?s a mile long queue

You don?t have to worry, you can poo in situ

?Who?s that girl, she don?t wear no frown??

She?s got a bag to carry her brown.


Look, she?s customised hers with stickers

Bet she never has to change her knickers

Y?see it?s not just for the old, it?s the latest fad

Get a pipe from your colon straight to a bag



CHORUS
It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

I said it?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.


BREAK
I?m down with me homo?s

I?m from the Westside

Giving props to me ho?s

And I?m carrying a bag

It?s full to the brim with my poo and pee!


Your own poo and pee?

Yeah you know me!

Your own poo and pee?

Yeah you know me!

Your own poo and pee?

Yeah you know me!


I?m down with me brown and my own pee pee.


Hey DJ Rodge, you put the ?rap? in ?crap?


Peace bitch.


So don?t have no hang-ups, cause with your bag you?ll be bang up

to date, with all your mates.

So have fun, add glitter to the pipe from your shitter.

Lets create the ass bag state.


CHORUS
It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

It?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.

I said it?s the way to go, just come and see

Colosto-You, Colosto-Me.


And all the girlies say ?He has no fly, he?s a bag guy!?

I?m down with your shit


END OF SONG.



"a town without a chipper is a town without a soul"

"Rodge:

I?ve told you it?s a romance, ?Their eyes met, Tarquin reached out and touched her long titian hair, his hand clasped the back of her neck as gentle as a fox. Could love flourish between the classes ?Oh no master we can?t? she protested ?The lady is due to return any moment?But Tarquin pulled the servant girl tight to his chest and kissed her hard on her ruby lips. Just then the lady of the house entered the room..

Podge:

Here we go!

Rodge:

..stark bollok naked! ?Who fancies a three in a bed session?? she yelled. the servant girl corset burst open, Tarquins pants flew off exposing a raging horn that you could hang a door off. ?Who?s first?? he shouted as the ladies pounced on him in a frenzied flesh tango.."



"Shut up, start the video, here?s the Limerick Flower! Ah jaysus turn it off, who let the dogs out? Go back to your kennel! God,that?s embarrassing, she could have feckin? shaved!"

"Jaysus, if it?s not stuck in a bottle it?s stuck up your nose, if it?s not stuck up your nose it?s stuck up your ars.."

"A blow up woman? He?d struck gold! Is that the one with mullti ?orificed vibro action? (BEAT) not that I?ve ever heard of such a thing!"


Randy Freenum
do i still get to be a high priest of the triangularians?

[Wils]

Hey DJ Rodge, you put the 'rap' in 'crap'

But who put the c*nt in Scunthorpe?

Wils

[Nervie]

probably jim.
the bastard.

Ro.
"Hey, that's what I'm here for.
 Sage, yet disturbing, advice."

[Jared Katooie]

All right but I better start seeing some cash immediately.

I actually had to write a C.V. you gobsheen - A C.V.!

For anyone else this is a unique chance to get ripped off. Send me money, recruit 50 other members and get a bumper sticker!

Rest assured I'll spend it wisely. I need a 1ghz PC fast! Ah DOOM ]I[ you heathen goddess!


" We cant just pass off cheap photocopies as art "

" It worked for Andy Warhol "


Jared " Crazy quilt " Katooie