Writing To Tharg

[Buttonman]

You pedantic cycle fans serve only to muddy the waters, meaning the evil alien gets to hoard his Heroclix!

I am all seeing, and the future is bleak. If this pattern continues for another 45 weeks it'll be a whole year with no letters! Is that what you want? Cos that's what you're gonna get!

[Buttonman]

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[Buttonman]

No letters in the Prog or Meg again this week. I don't think that's ever happened before. It's not me I'm sorry for, it's all disillusioned kids out there who scraped together a funny one liner or a three para treatse on the ABC's only to be let down again.

If I were paranoid I'd say I was single handedly responsible for the demise of all reader content in both comics. As I'm not I'll just say that alien git's been thumbing his nose at us for too long. Revolution!

[Buttonman]

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[Dounreay]

Ach, the wiley old alien is obviously saving them up for the soon-to-be-legendary 'Input Only Issue'.

Yes, 20 thrill packed pages of readers letters and Tharg's witty retorts and asides, with no distracting  comic strips in the way.

The cover promises to be Pulitzer winning material.

[The_2000AD_Gay]

Having had my letter printed in this week's Prog (1537 - Tom Cotton), I was expecting to receive one of those crappy plastic Heroclix figures...however, dopey ol' Tharg didn't send me one.

Figured I'd moan about it in this thread.

[Buttonman]

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Well, weâ??re back! Having now fully retooled after the enforced six week sabbatical we here at Letters Us Entertain You are raring to go. Thankfully our thinly veiled threats and dog poo through the letter box campaign has borne fruit in the shape of a full five finger latte sized letters page.

How did we cope? Well with our friend Mike Cope of course who seized the letter of the week berth with a saccharine loaded missive that  basically squatted down in front of Tharg and undid his jump suit. Of course Mike was right to air his true feelings, but the good people at Travelodge can let you have a room for £39.99 for that sort of thing. Mikeâ??s gushing is understandable seeing as heâ??s been building up his love fluid since his only previous appearance in prog 1380 in 2004.

Colchesterâ??s letter famine, that stretches back to 1997, was finally ended with Steve Outhwaiteâ??s offering that catapults him into second place in the Colchester all time list with , er, one. Long time leader Dave Leonard with two must be sweating though, as he now has a dozen one timers breathing down his neck and hasnâ??t hit the target himself since 1997.

Top â??O the morning to serial scribe Gerard Smith of Ireland who is celebrating his fifth letter - thatâ??s one for each finger unless you lost one to the peat cutter or were born with extra digits. Gerard has had letters in each of the last three years published with his Prog to Megazine ratio an unbalanced 4:1. His letter is a worthy plea for more tits in the comic, at least that was our reading of the subtext.

Tharg went cotton picking next with our old friend Tom Cotton  notching the sixth mark in his bedpost. This is Tomâ??s first Prog appearance of the year although he has had two in the Megazine. Tomâ??s policy of bigging Tharg up has worked well to date although he may be undone by his public lamenting of the lack of a Heroclix this time around. Itâ??s not all about the prizes Tom, itâ??s also about scoring chicks of the back of your clippings!

Last up is â??El Chivoâ?? who debuts here, under this guise at least. The legions of letters fans know a pseudonym is the fast track to letters obscurity as itâ??s impossible to tally efforts under other names. El Chivo is right to hide though, as his blatant self pimping distorts the sanctity of the page. Nice drawings on his site aside, he draws the yellow card for this tacky behaviour!

He does end the long standing Varsity standoff however, with his Cambridge letter ending the impasse that has existed since 2005 when Oxford last registered in prog 1462.

All in all an enjoyable page, albeit one lacking in any real controversy or even strong opinions. The lack of old stagers is also a downer as weâ??re itching to unleash our fully realised  Readers Art database. A tin of Spam for the first reader to get a letter in whoâ??s previously has art published.*


*Terms and conditions apply, prize may be more notional than actual.

[Proudhuff]

i'm currently looking after me old man  so the time of Spam will come in handy, now of the the missive factory!!

Huffski

[The_2000AD_Gay]

"Itâ??s not all about the prizes Tom, itâ??s also about scoring chicks of the back of your clippings!"

I guess a few letters in the Galaxy's Greatest can make up for my small...

[Keef Monkey]

Just discovered this thread properly. Genius.

[Buttonman]

As we know Keef, the line between genius and OCD is a mighty thin one.

I noticed your user name is 'The 2000ad Gay' Tom so if you are that way inclined I'm sure your letters will be even more likely to get you some action. Sadly the action will be found in Forbidden Planet and be wearing a faded Dark Knight t-shirt.

[The_2000AD_Gay]

"Sadly the action will be found in Forbidden Planet and be wearing a faded Dark Knight t-shirt."

Now you're talking!

My names a bit of a joke really. When it comes to the specimens found in a comic book store give me an overweight goth 'gurl' to a middle aged, Dark Knight t-shirt wearing man who still lives with his parents, any day of the week.

[JOE SOAP]

My names a bit of a joke really. When it comes to the specimens found in a comic book store give me an overweight goth 'gurl' to a middle aged, Dark Knight t-shirt wearing man who still lives with his parents, any day of the week.


I think that image has kind of broadened in later years, I've seen many a "hot babe" in Forbidden Planet.

[Buttonman]

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...may return some day.






Well really, one letters page in the last nine progs? If they can't be bothered why should we? Yeah, light fires and wave bits of paper in the air - it's a revolution!

Anyway three in Meg, two newbies and good old reliable Dave 'Bolt' Evans who hits the big number 8 with a session of fence sitting that'll leave him picking splinters for weeks to come.

Only joshing Dave, good job. You can see we're all a bit jaundiced over here at Letters us entertain you when we turn on a soild top 23 preformer!

We may return but are mulling over a spicy meatball offered by Balamory Magazine. They have letters and drawings and montages, er, collages every week!

[Proudhuff]

Don't go! they're all sooooo bloody childish over there, and all thoose bright colours no place for a man with a hangover.

Cyber Matt save him!! Throw him a frickin bone

Toodlerhuff