Scots!

[Dudley]

Mention Irn Bru at least once per post.  They're obssessed with the stuff.

[Mikey]

Surely an angry Scot would uses words like 'crivens!'and 'jings!' ;p

He could refer to 'wally tiles' and how he smashed his fist into them or something...

If it's any help - and I know it really isn't to anyone - there's a bunch of,IMHO, numpties in North Emerald Isle who insist a dialect,which they call 'the hamely tongue',a derivative of scots-irish english, is a written language.

Incidentally,most of the people I've heard state this don't actually speak in the dialect in the first place!

M.

Link: http://www.ulsterscotsagency.com/aboutus.asp" target="_blank">Ah hinny din aught etc

[Slippery PD]

Midlander, if you please!

You Scots- you all sound the same to me...

;)

Didnt mean you, you brummie :P

Was talking about the trout!

Yer Slips

[Keef Monkey]

"Aye, that WILL be right". To be said disbelievingly  in response to something that you think really isn't right. It's like the scots ned version of the "NOT" joke. I'm scottish myself but don't personally think I type in a way that would give it away at all, although any time I've read something written by a bona fide ned it's been more or less phonetic, means they don't have to concentrate on the spelling.
You could use "Swatch" for look, as in "Gies a swatch o' yer fanny". If that works it may end in them "pumping" someone. Or receiving a "gammy"(still not sure what that is but I'm sure it's pleasant). If they want a fight they might threaten to "tan your jaw", which I take to mean a slashing with a knife but could just mean a bit of fisticuffs. They might hit you with a "chib", which seems to be any kind of makeshift shiv-type weapon.
I know it's accents you're talking about rather than actual phrases but thought some of them might be helpful(although if the character is a celibate pacifist they'll be useless).

[El Spurioso]

Thanks all - this is all really helpful: keep it coming!

I think the way to do it is probably to write it "straight" - sans accent - but pepper it with neddy expressions to flag-wave the guy's origins.  Hmm.

-s

[Funt Solo]

Also:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Patter-Michael-Munro/dp/1841581283

[Keef Monkey]

My ladyfriend has just got in and contributed a couple more. If something's shit it's either "pish" or "gash" and any kind of fizzy juice at all is called "ginger" regardless of what it is. Common insults are "dobber" or "fanny", and I don't know how common it is but "fan-dan" has always made me chuckle. Drug-wise ecstacy is "eccies" and sleeping pills are "jellies", but that might be the case everywhere. Then there's the ned national drink of Buckfast, but it's "buckie" to them. An attractive woman might be referred to as  "a pure ride", especially if she's got nice "diddies". I shamefully admit to using the word diddies ocasionally.
Oh, and the phrase "bolt ya nugget"(for fuck off) has reminded of this goldmine of ned slang...

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scNLfr1EP08" target="_blank">That'll be right

[Slippery PD]

Since were talking favourite weegie sayings.  Ive always loved

"Yer Claimed!" - I say good fellow, Ill be drawing pistols at dawn against you.

"Away and boil yer heed" - Now go away and stick your head into boiling water

"Pure dead brilliant, so it is" - Thats rather excellent

Also you have to have a hatred of the English, parochial and have a chip on your shoulder.  

Yer "Im a west coast of Scotland native, so I do know what Im talking about" Slips

[Art]

Link: http://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page" target="_blank">Guid tae see ye at the Scots Wikipædia, the first

[Dog Deever]

'Ken' tends to be north and East, weegies are ayways takin the piss-
"Who's ken?"

Noticed that the weegies often finish a sentence with "but" or "by the way" as well as 'know' or 'naw'. Don't know about the written side of it, though- I was under the impression that yer average weegie couldna write!

"how would a reader *know* from the language employed in the blog, without needing to be told, that the author is a not-well-educated Glaswegian?"

well, for a start- they're a Glaswegian!
;)

Your mother is often 'yer maw'.

"If it's any help - and I know it really isn't to anyone - there's a bunch of,IMHO, numpties in North Emerald Isle who insist a dialect,which they call 'the hamely tongue',a derivative of scots-irish english, is a written language."

That might be right enough, as there were a lot of Highlanders fucked off to Ireland en masse at several points. MacColla (Colkitto) who came across from the Emerald Isle with a regiment of 'kerns' in support of a Jacobite uprising (Viscount Dundee's?) was a MacDonald, and these 'Irish kerns' were actually exiled MacDonalds from the Isles who'd pissed off due to fighting over the Lordship of the Isles- IIRC they may originally have been from the Glencoe branch. They would probably have brought Lowland Scots with them as most Highlanders were fluent in both Gaelic and Scots, which was used when trading (and robbing) in the Lowlands.

totally irrelevant, but interesting that some vestige o' the leid has survived (well, to me anyway)

[Wils]

If everything else fails, you could always try emailing the Centre of Scottish Received Pronunciation at russ@abbot-net.cu.uk

[Peter Wolf]

Neds is short for Non educated delinqants.I think this is right.

[I, Cosh]

A good Scots word you could slip in is "plamf", which describes a man who sniffs ladies bicycle seats.

[I, Cosh]

Neds is short for Non educated delinqants.I think this is right.

That is correct. In addition, "wog" stands for Wily Oriental Gentleman, "pom" for Prisoner of Mother England, "posh" equals People 'Oo Shop at Harrods and "fuck" is acronymic for For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

[Noisybast]

You forgot Ship High In Transit.