Stuff you were proud to teach a child

[Noisybast]

"I just struggle when it comes to fools."

Bugger.

[Richmond Clements]

I just struggle when it comes to fools.


Yup. I have... problems when it comes to wilful ignorance or plain stupidity in people.

[W. R. Logan]

>Oh the irony I'm sat outside cadets in worksop waiting to collect my eldest from cadets and just read your post... Weird

what star level are they?

[House of Usher]

I have just come back from visiting my two-year-old nephews who previously had no idea I even existed, since it had been a while.

One thing I did was talk about broccoli for most of 24 hours, starting with the two heads of broccoli that were in the shopping basket of plastic play food I brought with me - and for dinner the next night they had fish pie with broccoli, and they ate ALL their broccoli.

Another thing I taught them was that the word 'robot' can be substituted for any two syllable noun in any nursery rhyme. It started when, at bedtime, I was asked to sing 'Incey Wincey Spider' for the fourth time, at which point I refused and offered instead to sing to them about the 'Incey Wincey robot' that climbed up the water spout. Later on, Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor robot a bone.

I also taught them 'Two Little Dickie-birds,' which they hadn't heard before and wanted to hear over and over again. 'One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Once I Caught a Fish Alive' also proved popular.

[SmallBlueThing]

My youngest had a friend round for tea after school today. Lovely kid- polite, friendly, chatty, etc etc. Walked into our house and spent the rest of the visit staring at all our stuff asking why we had "so much scariness around". The look on his face when he finally noticed the werewolf head above the mantlepiece that was staring at him was brilliant.

Anyway- during dinner, I asked him if he wanted ketchup, and in doing so pointed to the ketchup bottle. That small movement was the cue for my back to suddenly go into mind-shatteringly agonised spasm, at which point for some reason best known only to my pain-receptors and their relationship with the language part of my brain, I literally shouted the odd phrase "BUGGEROOO!".

Needless to say that's what I taught both my boys and their friend today.

SBT

[Paul faplad Finch]

My 6yr old Nephew Adam is very much a product of my influence. Whether that is a good thing or not is debatable though.

When it was the summer break between nursery and starting infant school I bought a shedload of KS1 books and sat and did exercises with him for half an hour a day. I also encouraged the 'having a story at bedtime' instead of the 'having a dvd at bedtime' that was his habit. This has now progressed to where he will go to bed an hour before he has to in order to read his book in peace.

I've also tried to change his viewing habits. Doctor Who was not a part of his life until I got involved and now he is an avid Who and SJA fan. I fell asleep on the couch one Saturday afternoon while he was on his xbox and when I woke up he'd turned off the game and put on my 'Robot' DVD. I thought it might have been a bit slow for him but he was engrossed. That was actually his first experience of regeneration, so it paved the way nicely for Tennant (His Doctor) leaving.

One of his favourite shows is Thundercats, which I foisted upon him when I got tired of the endless Pokemon/Yugi Oh/Gormiti/Bakugan/Dinosaur King clones. That he loved that was a proud moment, 'cos it was hands down my fave when I was young.

Next step is getting him into comics. He's big into Buffy, (Merciful Zeus! is his current catchphrase. It's brilliant) which I introduced him to in an effort to make him less prone to nightmares (he got freaked out by Sbrina the Teenage Witch halloween episodes - something had to be done). I figured the jokes and the action would ease him past the horror. Seems to have worked, although his Mam is undecided as to it's suitability for his age. Anyway, he's now reading my Buffy GNs. I figure, that'll hook him on the form (even if a big part will just be admiring the art, at least for now) and then I'll hit him up with a bit of old school twothy goodness.

I'm not sure how much my sister appreciates my efforts, 'cos she has been a bit scathing of my geeky tendencies in the past, but she's tolerating me so far.

[ming]

Number One Son, two at the end of April, knows a Stegosaurus when he sees one (and Triceratops, and T. Rex).  I'll be starting on the pantheon of 2000AD characters asap (although he already had Charlie, Hero of Northpool on his 2nd birthday card).

[TordelBack]

My eldest (5 next week) went to the heavily restored tower-house of Ashtown Castle on a school trip yesterday.  Having carefully fostered his interest in active defense-in-depth for some years now, I asked him had they seen any murderholes (any decent boy loves a good murderhole).  "No".  What about arrowslits?  (The next best thing) "No.  I think they replaced them all with windows when they rebuilt it.  There were a few musketloops though - so I think it must have been built near the end of the castle times".  Warm glow of parental pride ensues, tinged with professional sympathy for the guide.

[Trout]

How nice to see this thread back.

I still watch Doctor Who with Rose, and we still eat jellybabies.

And last week, I taught my 18-month-old son to say "Dredd".

- Trout

[maryanddavid]

 Last weekend ,how to find ants under a stone and the difference between Swallows and House Martens.

[TordelBack]

...and the difference between Swallows and House Martens.

Go on then, share.

[maryanddavid]

Called Up, Ill see you sir!

Its fairly simple, A house marten builds on the gable of the house, like little beehives, we had 3 on one gable last year. The swallow builds in shed and barns, normally on collar ties or on th inside eves of sheds, we only had one in the shed last year, but in my fathers old hay shed there was at least 10 nests on the various beams. The house martens tails are a bit shorter too.

David

[Proudhuff]

I remember the difference as SWALLOWS have long FORKED tails,i(mage of eating of a fork) its the only way along with mnenomics I remeber anything. Recently saw Derren Brown and he uses a similar type of thing to remember 'stuff'

[Mikey]

House Martin:



Swallow:



Not to be confused with either...

Sandmartin:



Or Swifts:



You can print those out as a twitching guide for the wee'ans 

M

[TordelBack]

Ah, I see.  I had it totally wrong:





Seriously though, thanks all - very informative.