PROUD PARENT

[Tiplodocus]

I feel really proud.

Teenage Tips, at 18 years old, has just got round to calling me a fascist!

I'm so proud.

I won't let him play House of the Dead: Overkill downstairs while his Granny and Grandpa and Tiny Tips are woandering around. The eldsters would be heartily offended (and confused) and Tiny Tips,at 9, would be plain fascinated and confused.

And I won't let him take the Wii upstairs because his room is quite, quite disgustingly unclean (no, really) and he has no respect for any gadget and regularly abuses them and tosses them across the room or drops them when done (even the ones that belong to him.

So I'm a fascist. 

We've had "I never asked to be born" and all that sort of stuff before but this shows a nascent political awareness.

Next, I hope to get him to look up the meaning of the word...

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Best you pop along to your nearest sector house and pick up your Judges uniform.

Judge Tiplodocus

[Mike Gloady]

Nice one. 

I think that's how I'D feel were I in your shoes, but seeing as I'm never going to actually have any kids I can indulge in such airy-fairy tomfoolery all I like and never have to worry about living up to my claims. 

[Eric Plumrose]

You must beat him. With some sticks, that'll teach him the true meaning of the word.

[TordelBack]

You must beat him. With some sticks, that'll teach him the true meaning of the word.

Tiplictordocus!

Delighted for you man, you must be doing something right.  My 3-yr old's reaction to stern parental discipline is "I'm not your friend anymore", the unfettered cruelty of the playschool at its finest, but I long for the day we can indulge in passionate political exchanges.  I'm ruining his planet extra hard just to fuel the debate.

[wild-seven]

Wow, did he notice you wipe the tear away from your eye? I never did get round to calling either of my parents a fascist - is 27 too late to start?

[Grant Goggans]

Aww, bless.  He'll be listening to the Sex Pistols before you know it.  Where does the time go?

[Eric Plumrose]

Where does the time go?

That was Julia Fordham, surely.

[Grant Goggans]

Oh, now, really, Teenage Tips has at least ten years before we should expect him to discover Julia.   

[Eric Plumrose]

It could've been her singing the ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES theme.

[Roger Godpleton]

You should have kicked him in the balls in front of his girlfriend.

[Mike Carroll]

Well, I have to say that the Mrs and I have never had ANY trouble with our younglings - Nathaniel (13) and Bethany (11) - but that's most likely because they don't exist.

Non-existent children really are the best: they don't talk back, they never use drugs, we don't need to buy them expensive things like schoolbooks, computer games and food.

Really, I can't see any advantage real children might have over imaginary ones...

[Roger Godpleton]

Really, I can't see any advantage real children might have over imaginary ones...

You can't kick them in the balls in front of their girlfriends.

[Mike Gloady]

Good point, Roger.

Although personally I'm happy to forego that pleasure for the stress-free life of having no offspring.

[Proudhuff]