Death of Slaine

Mike Gloady · 08 December, 2009, 11:08:10 AM

Quote from: King Trout on 07 December, 2009, 11:38:26 PM
I liked it when he died in Dante.

No, not in Dante like that.

Yeah, I liked that - neck broken by our hero's octogenarian STEPMUM!

Not as funny as the treatment of Finny & Ramone though.

Tweak72 · 08 December, 2009, 01:00:33 PM

Blagh! Blagh! Blagh! Slaine died after his seven years as High King after being (willingly) beaten, nailed to a tree, ritually sacrificed and eaten by his people who then kicked his head about for a bit. Blagh! Blagh! Blagh! And Ukko was thrown on to a bonfire as per Slaines instructions. Blagh! Blagh! Blagh! None of that other guff about being a hit man for a bunch of ali- I mean: Time warrior for the Goddess, happened. Ever. Slaine finished on a high. And Pat Mills didnt keep rehashing the same old rubbish in further Slaine stories or Slaine Beyond- I mean Finn and came up with some new and above all interesting ideas within ten years.

The End

Shame it didnt happen.

Satanist · 08 December, 2009, 01:17:55 PM

Eaten by Satanus. Written by Gordon Rennie.

James Stacey · 08 December, 2009, 01:28:44 PM

Slaine contracts Cancer of the Aids wandering down a road. Dies. The End.

TordelBack · 08 December, 2009, 02:05:02 PM

Quote from: The Satanist on 08 December, 2009, 01:17:55 PM
Eaten by Satanus. Written by Gordon Rennie.

I'd pay good money!

Goaty · 08 December, 2009, 03:31:18 PM

Slaine scripts in trash bin!

Jared Katooie · 08 December, 2009, 07:31:54 PM

Sure, he can't be a proper Irish hero unless dies a horrible, agonising death.

johnnystress · 09 December, 2009, 12:22:08 PM

A reference to how Christianity in Ireland destroyed the halcyon days of The Tuatha De Danann and drove them underground?

But maybe a story based on the corrupting influence of the Catholic church in Ireland would be too far fetched

ThryllSeekyr · 11 December, 2009, 05:11:32 AM

Quote from: johnnystress on 09 December, 2009, 12:22:08 PM
A reference to how Christianity in Ireland destroyed the halcyon days of The Tuatha De Danann and drove them underground?

But maybe a story based on the corrupting influence of the Catholic church in Ireland would be too far fetched

This would embarrass me, but I guess it's true.

JayzusB.Christ · 11 December, 2009, 01:14:02 PM

I think Garth Ennis, as an Irishman himself, would be ideal to take over for the last story.

See, Slaine finds a gun then goes into a town and shoots everyone, including one man lying on the ground about to shoot him, like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven.

Then Slaine and Ukko start singing Pogues songs and drinking Guinness in an Irish bar in pre-historic New York.

Then God and some angels walk in and everyone laughs at them and Slaine shoots them all in the willy with his gun. Then the I.R.A. come in and sing some more Pogues songs, then everyone goes to Belfast and gets involved in the troubles,

Then they all go to a pub in Belfast and drink some more Guinness.

Then Slaine has his willy shot off, walks round with no willy for a while, then dies.

TordelBack · 11 December, 2009, 01:23:08 PM

You forgot the bit where Sláine and Ukko wax lyrical about some pop-culture icon for a whole issue, discovering that their mutual interest strengthens their friendship and forms the basis for their moral code. It should be a figure that Garth Ennis himself has some interest in.

I'd suggest a running joke about buggery and/or bestiality, but we did that last Prog.

Jim_Campbell · 11 December, 2009, 01:27:39 PM

Quote from: TordelBack on 11 December, 2009, 01:23:08 PM
You forgot the bit where Sláine and Ukko wax lyrical about some pop-culture icon for a whole issue, discovering that their mutual interest strengthens their friendship and forms the basis for their moral code. It should be a figure that Garth Ennis himself has some interest in.

I'd suggest a running joke about buggery and/or bestiality, but we did that last Prog.

Doesn't someone have to get buttfucked and then 'become gay' ...?

Cheers

Jim

ThryllSeekyr · 11 December, 2009, 05:50:58 PM

Despite His strong irsh heritage, I prefer old world scenarios fro Slaine.

Perhaps Slaione] should pass the candle onto Finn for anything modern concering, I.R.A., Belfast and the troubles

I see what you about Garth Ennis

and obvious connection with it all.

Simon Davis another consideration?

Mike Gloady · 11 December, 2009, 05:55:28 PM

i like Ennis' work, but it is flawed, even at it's best. He's a little too fond of riding his own little hobby horses repeatedly around the same track.

Of course, having said that it's not as if I could do better. And when he IS good and disciplines himself a little more, he's very good. And even his worst work has charm.

I'm all for leaving Mr Mills to write his own creation until he doesn't want to anymore. I just wish he'd only write a Slaine story when he's got something to say, these last two efforts, while fun, were flawed and felt weaker than I usually expect (and get) from Slaine.

ThryllSeekyr · 12 December, 2009, 08:57:58 PM

Quoting the Cosh from the Prog 1655 Thread....

QuoteIt also took a reread for me to twig that the Tyrannosaur and the time warp is a nod to the very first Slaine story.

NIGHT-SOIL

Well, Well, Well, It just so happens I was writing a Slaine story connected to The Time Monster as well. Should I stop that. It's not like it's going to be published. I was just doing that for fun, but I guess it would stink if it was a contradiction to current events happening to Slaine and what a coincidence that would have been, because I haven't read any of the Smuggler stories myself..

I started it few days back, stopped, and then did bit more yesterday. I intended it to be just short story, prophesising the demise of Slaine. It's was geting abit silly, so I going to trim it down and ruthlessly abridge it.

It's just time-warp and time-monster two elements from my version as well.

Not that I care really, it's just strangely familer.