Attempts at the sample scripts

[Adrian Bamforth]

Looks great to me, especially like the distorted perspective of Dredd on the first page, and the hand-style colouring (I don't know if it was hand-coloured or computer-coloured with added effects, I have always favoured the old way and try to put on a layer of 'imperfections' when I can).

The scratchy, expressive style works great with Dredd - most samples I see tend to be too far in the opposite direction ie flat and static. Personally, I think it's far better to start loose and expressive and reign it in if required - people very often tend to get trapped in a derivative comic style.

[3ciona]

#3

[Darren Stephens]

Really nice stuff again. Looks a little Ted McKeever-esque. This is a very good thing in my book! :-P

[pauljholden]

Looks good, story telling on page 3 is a little confused. Judge on a bike - is he racing TO the scene or AWAY from the scene? Not clear from the panel location*

Also, along with page 2, some of the panels could do with a little more 'dead' space - the 2000AD 10 commandments suggests 25% of the panel should be dead space -most of it in the upper left (for captions/lettering) - don't drop your own letters in there, once the editor looks at it he may decide to change some dialogue, or, the font you're using may be smaller/larger than the actual font the letterer is using making your measurements pointless. As a rule, the more dead space the better.

Finally, the pages look great (colouring is ace) the single big splash panel with insets, though, is making the three pages look a little samey (which is ok if that's what you're going for!  - ie a consistent story telling trope to, for example, tell three distinct tales by three people and have them tied together by the panel arrangements/storytelling).


-pj
(* the aim is to make it as super clear as is possible, if even one person doesn't get what's happening that's a bad thing - especially if the one person is the editor...)

[3ciona]

Thanks a lot.
#4



pauljholden: I know I have some problems with leaving enough "deadspace". I think that the best solution for me would be to design panels with letterer before I start to draw anything.

[Hoagy]

A lot of artists put the bubbles in the first or second roughs then compose each scene accordingly. I know it seems obvious now but when I get into a picture I forget about the dead space in my enthusiasm.


EDIT: Fucken amazin' work 3C.

[Beeks]

Brilliant...surely prog worthy?

[Emperor]

I love the cramped Blade Runneresque city scenes too. Very nice work.

[staticgirl]

Top stuff. And one thing I love about the British Style is how expressive and punk rock it is....

[Woolly]

Thats great, great stuff 3C.

All i would say is - lose the photoshop filter on the lawmaster panel. It never works with line drawings in my opinion and sticks out like a sore thumb.
Also, ease back on the design of the judge helmets. Adding your own slant on the design is a must, but personally i think you've gone ever-so-slightly too far with it.

But those are just minor niggles, still awesome stuff dude 

[Adrian Bamforth]

Yes looking at them closer I agree with PJ: The pages are full of energy and expression though your direction now should be finding the balance between that and clarity in the storytelling. There should perhaps be more longer shots to establish the new context whenever the scene changes e.g. the dorms, the crowded street (doesn't have all the detail described in the script), the superior's office (looks more like ahe's being held prisoner), the interrogation room, the Academy (should have the sign in, though you did a nice job making the crap old design look good) - also, it looks a bit like like there's a missile heading into it, the beating scene... editors will tend to know what is supposed to be happening in the sample scripts. Don't depend on the captioons to describe the scene - it should be made clear without. The trick for you is to make it clearer without losing the energy.

[James]

I like it, very energetic. Knowing the script so well it's easy to follow the story, perhaps as others have said, not if you didn't know it well.

There's a continuity error on page 2 though; the boy twatting the other cadet in the last panel is in loose pyjamas, panel 1 of page 3 (which is the same scene) he's wearing his cadet clobber.

[3ciona]

Thanks a lot. Seems i misunderstood those 3 panels, need to read captions more carefully. ARGH

[Jim_Campbell]

I think that the best solution for me would be to design panels with letterer before I start to draw anything.

This, unfortunately, is not the way that paying comics gigs work.

Cheers

Jim

[Adrian Bamforth]

Just in case anyone finds it interesting, I made several attempts ar the Cycle of Violence strip experimenting with different tricks to try and alleviate some of the epic stress it usually involves for me. In the end I found simply drawing A4 size instead of A3 and inking tighter did the trick (which is how I did the pages posted earlier, though here's the result of an attempt to lay out the pages using models created from white-tack that Cliff Robinson uses and demonstrated on his blog. His models are far better - I think he uses bits of bought action models for hands and head, though here I've bought some of the crappy wooden poseable figures which are otherwise worse than useless due to their completely inaccurate proportions, corrected some of the limbs using a hack-saw and sculpted on top of using white-tack. I found it wasn't the technique for me when I found myself completely straying from the photo-poses, mush as I have always done when attempting to us regular photo-ref. Guisee I'm just an old-fashioned kind of guy.