Attempts at the sample scripts

[Batdan4ever]

Hey Emperor, thank you for the welcome and the positive comment about the cover idea.

Thanks also for taking the time to post feedback, much appreciated, and I agree with everything you have said.
I especially take on board your comment about the black spaces, I think I was trying to be all clever and designy but you are right that the space could be better utilised! Thanks for the reference link also.

This was my first attempt so hopefully if I keep trying I will get to a respectable level of skill. I'll post my second attempt when finished... I'm working on the Holed Up script which is a lot of fun.

Anyhoo, here's the last 3 pages.

Thanks again!

Dan

[Mardroid]

I like how the scenes showing the confrontation between Dredd and the boys father and later Dredd and the boy himself look almost identical. It fits the story pretty well.

Apart from what's been said already, Dredd appears to be shooting into the air in both panels where he is firing though. You need to draw his arm, and the gun, at a different angle. I know these things are tricky but it's quite important. (I haven't read the strip in a while, so if Dredd actually uses a ricochet round in those scenes, please ignore me. That would make sense in the earlier scene where the dad is using his kid as a human shield.)

[Mr Eight]

Just to add, IMHO..I think you should definitely hang in there and perservere ..you'll get better at drawing the more you draw - obviously - but the thing that'll mark you out will be your ability to come up with panels like this:   




very cool..doesn't matter how good you get, you nailed that one

[Batdan4ever]

Mardroid, thanks for commenting! No ricochet... I just messed up the angle! I might take another stab at this strip taking into account yours and other's comments, they have been very helpful so thanks for taking the time to say something!


Mr Eight, thank you very much indeed! that gave me a much needed boost Yep, I'll keep on trying and get there hopefully, but good to know I got something right! Thanks again for the kind words of encouragement.

Dan

[terrapin]

I got a couple of days free at easter so i had a go at the cycle of violence script. Ive been working on my inking technique since my karn fouleye attempt (p26) Ive also posted my inks without added textures. Feel free to scribble over them id love to hear some crits

[Danbell]

Really like the one with the grey tones. Really atmospheric, almost noir. Works especially well on panels 1 and 4.

Good work!

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Terrapin that's magical - ! The greytones look gorgeous -

[staticgirl]

I like the moody greytones too. I also especially like that bottom panel of the perp holding the knife because of his expression and the way the hair shows the direction of his movement.

[Batdan4ever]

wow. that's a lovely looking page, esp the textures. Hope to see more! well done

[Emperor]

I think you've done a damn good job with that. The last panel is the Kobayashi Maru of comics (probably whey this is a sample script) and you've managed to make it work rather well - it is one of the best takes on it yet. I also think the greytones and textures really help soften up Expressionistic B&W work - it is definitely an angle to pursue in future (and/or might be worth applying to your previous sample pages to see if that approach helps them).

[a chosen rider]

Looks great - very atmospheric.  I like the second and fourth panels in particular, and you draw a good Dredd.  (Always important! )  I would say that the third panel is a little unclear, though; without a good look at the kid being held hostage in panel two, it's not obvious in the third that it's actually the hostage we're seeing, and not, say, a second kid looking out from a hiding place somewhere.  I think that panel could do with to showing a little more of the man holding him to contextualise it.

[terrapin]

thanks for all the comments guys - to pass the Kobayashi Maru of comics is a complement indeed, made my day cheers. You are right about that last panel rider, the pictures should tell the story and without the words here its hard to link the kid to the previous panel - like you said i think there needs to be more of an arm in shot.

[Emperor]

thanks for all the comments guys - to pass the Kobayashi Maru of comics is a complement indeed, made my day cheers.

Ah but the key is no one passes the Kobayashi Maru of comics, all you can do is not fail as badly as everyone else. Or cheat

[terrapin]

doh

[Darren Stephens]

Very nice, Terrapin. I prefer the greytone page, too. The second panel has so much depth thanks to that lighting from the doorway. Excellent.