2000AD The Musical! The 9th 2000AD Forum Short Story Comp.

[locustsofdeath!]

Ah, music. Sweet, sweet music. What kinds of sounds make the Galaxy's Greatest go round?

Dounreay, our latest winner, wants to know:

I know a lot of toothers like their sounds so the general theme this month is music. Write about any damn thing you want but it must have a musical angle.

Use a lyric from your favourite song in a story, an album cover that has inspired you, gansta rap in the big Meg, the skiffle scene in Download, take your pick, the hills are alive with it.

Extra respect for actually writing a song.

So make like Ro-Jaws and Hammerstein and compose the next great Hollywood Musical!

[Alski]

Had to be first... bonus points for any of you who can explain the Guru's odd choice of name!



Breakin' The Law

Good evening, vidders, and welcome to this live broadcast all the way from Doris Stokes block in Sector 19. I'm Darwell Snoogans, and you join me as Guru Totpa is making a rare public appearance.

You may remember that the Guru Totpa emerged a scant few months ago, wanting nothing but to help his fellow Cit. If you have a problem, if no one else can handle it, then this is the guy to go to. Known for his short but meaningful solutions, he claims to have no memory of his previous life, and with that flowing beard no one had come forward to say they recognise him either. Let's listen in to see what he has to say...

'Hello, Guru Totpa. My name is Veena Marbles. I have a crisis of faith, you see. I don't think I believe in Grud any more. Please, help me.'

And here comes the response, vidders.

'Don't Stop Believing'

And what a belter! Miss Marbles is crying with joy, no doubt ready once more to give her life to Grud. What a heartwarming moment. Wait - here's another Cit.

'Hello, Guru Totpa. My name is Lance Vance. Gee, I'm kinda embarrassed, y'know?'

'Let It Be'

'Okay. Well, my blockmates all want me to do juve stuff, and all that, but my olds want me to be a good cit. What should I do?

'Go Your Own Way'

And that's another ten pointer, viewers. Guru Totpa is on top form today. As usual, all his answers are song titles from the late 20th century, but regardless of this he seems to get it right every time. Although he doesn't ask for any payment, donations for his charitable mission have poured in since he appeared at the Will Wheaton Shopperama and started giving advice. There must be ten thousand Cits here today, and the judges are in force in case any of them try to grab the guru.

Oh my! One of the Judges is approaching Guru Totpa, perhaps he wants advice! It's... yes, it's Judge Dredd himself, probably going to congratulate the guru on his good work. Let's have a listen...

'Hello Guru Totpa. My name is Judge Dredd, and I've been doing some digging. My problem is that you appear to be Norville Svenson, a wanted con artist, a man whose secret bank account has been swelling with so called donations from these mugs. On top of that, you're looking at multiple counts of illegal music slug possession in the shape of something called Now That's What I Call Music 1 - 80.  You're coming with me, to face the music.'

Sweet Jovus! Judge Dredd has cuffed the guru, and is taking him from the arena! Let's see if we can get a final quote from the great man. Guru Totpa! Have you any last words for your devotees?

'I Fought The Law (& The Law Won)'

Judge Dredd? A final comment from yourself?

'I Am The Law'

[Hoagy]

OOoh. That one was a belter over breakfast.

[Colin MacNeil]

Groovy first story for the comp there, Emcee!

[Kerrin]

Ha ha, nice one Emcee.

When's this comp running till Locust old bean?

[Mike Carroll]

May I direct your attention back about five years...?

http://www.2000adreview.co.uk/features/sprout/2005/sproutmusic/sproutmusic.shtml

-- Mike

[locustsofdeath!]

When's this comp running till Locust old bean?

Oops, sorry. I've had an awful lot going on this past weekend and have been distracted. We'll let it run til May 20th.

[Alski]

I think this one's better.

BlockBlaster!

Sniveller was happy. As far as he was concerned, Mitch & the Muteros were the best band in the spugging world. 'Kick A Norm' was loud, obnoxious and had been proven to induce brain damage, but he didn't care.

Jughead Johnson very much did care. Living next door to Sniveller wasn't his idea of a new beginning. The new township was okay, certainly better than he'd had before going to the Meg in the first place, but he had a feeling he'd not be so welcome if he ripped Sniveller's snecking arms off. What he needed was a plan...

Judge Deputy Dawg sighed. His nose twitched, and as usual it smelled trouble. Disturbances were slowly going down in the township, enough that Dredd trusted them to keep the peace by themselves whilst he was on patrol, but where there were people, there would be disagreements. He crossed his arms and looked hard at the complainants. 'Well?' he asked.

'It's him, Dawgy," said Sniveller, his nose dripping as per usual. 'Snuck in to my hab and stole my blockblaster right from unna my nose, he did.'

'Huh,' snorted Jughead. 'Anythin under your nose would be so soaked it wouldn't work anyway.'

'Shut it!' barked Dawg, literally. 'What's your side, Jughead?'

'It's my blockblaster." insisted Jughead with an air of wounded pride. 'Brought it with me from the Meg, and ol snotnose there stole it from me so's he could play all that Mitch & the Muteros garbage.'

'You take that back!' said Sniveller angrily. 'They's the best band ever!' He made a move towards Jughead, but Dawg stepped in smartly between them, a low growl coming from deep inside him.

'Enough! Both of you, just step apart and let me think on this.'

The two men stood apart, sneaking furtive glances at each other as Dawg pondered. Shame the Mega City boys wouldn't let him and his boys have Birdies, or this would be a cinch. Sure,  he could take it to a real Judge when one came around, but he would look pretty stupid for bothering them with such a trifling matter. Dawg didn't want to look stupid, he wanted to be a Good Boy. Then, inspiration struck.

'You boys wait in your habs,' he instructed. 'I'll be back in a while.' With that, he picked up the blockblaster and left.


An hour later, he returned and shouted for them to come out. When they saw the two halves of the blockblaster on the floor in front of hi their reactions were mixed. Sniveller looked shocked, whilst Jughead didn't look to worried at all, which told Dawg a lot about the original complaint. Oh well, too late now. Unsurprisingly, they didn't want their halves, so he took them with him.

Back at Judge HQ Dawg relaxed to a little light music, amazed that they'd both thought the broken blockblaster was real, not something he'd just knocked up for show. Heh heh, he thought... case closed, Good Dawg.

[El Chivo]

Nice story Emcee

[Van Dom]

I said it before and I'll say it again - emceehamster you're an animal for the writing! Great stuff.
Not sure if I'll be able to enter this as I'm extremely busy in work and we're expecting a baby NEXT WEEK!!!! So.......good luck to everyone and I look forward to reading what you all come up with.

[Paul faplad Finch]

After a burst of activity on the War comp I failed miserably to come up with anything on the last two so I'm determined to get something in this one.

Not exactly sure what but...

Oh, and thoose two were, as ever, excellent Emceehamster.

[locustsofdeath!]

If you get a story in, faplad, you're likely to take at least third place at the rate we're going.

I WILL have one for this comp, come hell or high water. Come on writers, get writing!!!

[Lady Festina]

Don't worry Loco Muerto, I shall be submitting at least one... Just to make up the numbers...

[Roger Godpleton]

If you get a story in, faplad, you're likely to take at least third place at the rate we're going.

I WILL have one for this comp, come hell or high water. Come on writers, get writing!!!

Everyone is boycotting the comp after I told them about your heinous telly-leaving-on and door-not-locking antics.

[Paul faplad Finch]

Well, this is my entry. Possibly the first of several cos I had a bit of a cluster of ideas a couple of hours ago. Just the turning them into stories part that I'm struggling with.

In my head this was a song but I'm well aware that written down it just reads like realy bad poetry. So if it doesn't qualify I'll not be offended.

That said, I give you

  THE SONG ABOUT ROGUE TROOPER THAT DOESN'T HAVE A TITLE COS I'M CRAP AT THINKING OF THEM AND I WANTED TO GET THIS UP BEFORE I WENT TO BED.

  Wake up each morning with a gun in my hand,
Last nights dream sweat draining into the sand.
I look around me and my world is aflame,
Close my eyes and wonder who is to blame.
It was...

(chorus)
Those, Mili-Com bastards in their ivory tower,
Playing their games cos they know they've got the power.
They don't care whether,  we live or we die,
We are just pawns, my Brothers and I.

I hear my comrades and their silicon screams,
Their lives as flesh, now nothing but dreams.
What I do now, I do it for them. Through fire and brimstone,
I trek straight into hell.
Nort and Souther,  Nu-Earth and Horst,
It's hard to tell, which is the worst.
No matter the hardship, no matter the pain,
It's all too clear now, where lies the  blame.
It lies with...

(chorus)

Never knowing, whats round the next bend,
Like new found Brothers, named for the weekend.
Or blue skinned Angels called Venus and Rafe,
Trying their damnedest to keep my hide safe.
All for naught though, a futile endeavor,
This quest I'm on, it's one I know I must die for.
Because of ...

(chorus)

I'll get them though, you see if I don't.