Comic book sequentials (critques most welcome)

[Nick Shepherd]

[Nick Shepherd]

[Nick Shepherd]

[Chris Fain]

Going off of those pieces alone, I would love to work with you. Seriously.

[Nick Shepherd]

Sounds good. What did you have in mind?
I have been thinking about doing a zuda submission next.  I would like to draw a fantasy/ horror story with big monsters smashing stuff, scantily clad women etc.  I have been working on this Shakespeare adaptation (The Tempest) for ages and its pretty heavy stuff so I want the next project I do to be lighter and a bit more fun. 
Any ideas?

[radiator]

My instant reaction critique would be:

Your anatomy and figure drawing in general needs work. Try doing a little life-drawing, and hold your pages up to a mirror/flip them in Photoshop and you will quickly see the problems.

You haven't left enough space for word balloons and captions. This is very important and will be a thing that editors look for.

The panels are swamped with excessive cross-hatching, giving them a somewhat muddy look. Try to rein it in. Overloading panels with detail/shading etc seems to betray a lack of confidence in your drawing. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but I think you have a strong style which would benefit from being a lot bolder and less fussy on the detail.

There isn't much variation in line weights - beefing up some of the foreground elements would really help to add a bit of depth. Also, try to enhance your scanned artwork using Photoshop or a similar programmes - use 'Levels' to boost the contrast because the pages you have posted here look very faded and washed-out as they are.

Some of the perspectives and angled shots don't work.

The backgrounds aren't that convincing and need more work - see page 1, panel 6 and page 3, panel 6.

Certain panels (pg1, panel 6 for example) look very rushed in comparison to the rest.

You're doing a slightly strange thing with your panel layouts - the weird arrangement of page 1, panels 1-2 and page 3, panels 1-2 means you have these pointless slivers of panel - it's effectively dead space on the page. It's kind of a middle ground between doing an inset panel and a full panel - you should decide either way.

I would put more variation into the 'camera' angles you are using for each panel - there are lots and lots of mid range 'shots' but not much else. Think about ways that you can add a bit of interest to each page.

[Nick Shepherd]

Thank you for the critique.  They are all fair points and I will take them into consideration for my next pages. 

[Emperor]

I have been thinking about doing a zuda submission next.

Zuda shut up shop last year.

[zombemybabynow]

love the kirby-esque suits

[Dunk!]

 I think, oh hang on...*reads*

My instant reaction critique would be:

Your anatomy and figure drawing in general needs work. Try doing a little life-drawing, and hold your pages up to a mirror/flip them in Photoshop and you will quickly see the problems.

You haven't left enough space for word balloons and captions. This is very important and will be a thing that editors look for.

The panels are swamped with excessive cross-hatching, giving them a somewhat muddy look. Try to rein it in. Overloading panels with detail/shading etc seems to betray a lack of confidence in your drawing. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but I think you have a strong style which would benefit from being a lot bolder and less fussy on the detail.

There isn't much variation in line weights - beefing up some of the foreground elements would really help to add a bit of depth. Also, try to enhance your scanned artwork using Photoshop or a similar programmes - use 'Levels' to boost the contrast because the pages you have posted here look very faded and washed-out as they are.

Some of the perspectives and angled shots don't work.

The backgrounds aren't that convincing and need more work - see page 1, panel 6 and page 3, panel 6.

Certain panels (pg1, panel 6 for example) look very rushed in comparison to the rest.

You're doing a slightly strange thing with your panel layouts - the weird arrangement of page 1, panels 1-2 and page 3, panels 1-2 means you have these pointless slivers of panel - it's effectively dead space on the page. It's kind of a middle ground between doing an inset panel and a full panel - you should decide either way.

I would put more variation into the 'camera' angles you are using for each panel - there are lots and lots of mid range 'shots' but not much else. Think about ways that you can add a bit of interest to each page.

Yeah, Radiator's pretty on the nose with all that, so I'll keep stum.

Good stuff though, great potential.

Dunk!

[mygrimmbrother]

hold your pages up to a mirror/flip them in Photoshop and you will quickly see the problems.

This.

[Chris Fain]

I have been thinking about doing a zuda submission next.

Zuda shut up shop last year.

Emperor beat me to it.

[Nick Shepherd]

Aaahh crap!

[Nick Shepherd]

[Nick Shepherd]