Writing to Tharg 2012 - LETTERSENTERTAINYOU THE ROAD TO 10,000

[Buttonman]

Well done to Robbie Carnegie ho had a letter in today's Prog 1873 - he first scored in Prog 84 in 1978! A 36 year footprint!

[Link Prime]

Well done to Robbie Carnegie ho had a letter in today's Prog 1873 - he first scored in Prog 84 in 1978! A 36 year footprint!

What, no Carnegie Hall-of- fame pun?
We come here for the quips, not the score-line.

[Buttonman]

He may be so old that he's more Carnegie Smelly than Deli but this effort marks a 36 Large for the Buxton Marksman.<sigh> I've not been well...

[Mr Ruh]

Robbie here! Thanks for the support, guys. I also had a run of letters in the 90s when Tharg was freer with his free gifts (I had a good supply of hats, badges, mugs etc) - maybe this'll be the start of many more. Must shower now ...

[Buttonman]

I hope the shower wasn't a reference to being named on this thread! It's the most fragrant place on the web. let's check that claim of "a run of letters in the 90s"...


R           CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   84         ENGLAND   1978
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   M69/V2.49      ENGLAND   1994
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   M118/V3.15   ENGLAND   1996
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   842         ENGLAND   1993
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   910         ENGLAND   1994
ROBBIE    CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   1021         ENGLAND   1996
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   CHICHESTER   1060         ENGLAND   1997
ROBBIE   CARNEGIE   BUXTON           1873         ENGLAND   2014

Is 6 a run? Well OK then - a score of 8 in 36 years could be seen as a bit on the slow side but they keep on coming!

[Proudhuff]

Ignore him Robbie he just wishes he was in as early as you... or me 

[Buttonman]

A late resurrection for no one's favourite thread - I got a PM request from Betel and all Beast Business must be done in open court.

We're data gathering at present but confidence is high!

[Link Prime]

Get back to amusingly slagging letter writers while you're at it!

[Buttonman]

Well that was a short retirement! As you have probably read in the Daily Sport we have been called back to Beast Towers to address the potentially fatal decline in Letters Page standards. Many believed that 'The Road to 10,000' would signal a glorious future for the Letters Page with quality guaranteed by the renewed focus on standards and the spotlight afforded by LETTERSENTERTAINYOU. Can it be so bad? Let's take a look at today's new Prog, number 1887 and find out.

First up it's the 'Letter of the Week' which is bound to be good. Even better it's written by Canuck journalist Mike Donachie who broke the hard hitting, Pulitzer Prize winning, 'Fireworks Show Goes With a Bang'. But wait! This is ass kissing horseshit! Sorry, moose shit. Mike has put down his 'Oor Wulie' Annual to run a rule over the frankly misfiring Summer Special and what do you know? He loves every word.

No 'Overpriced Scone Scandal' diatribe here, Fishy Features lets go with both barrels - sadly each is filled with nothing but maple syrup. "When You said 'special' you really meant it" <vomit>. Nothing wrong with some fan boy love but this is the letters page equivalent of rimming a tramp and paying him for the privilege. At one point we felt journalistic integrity may be saved : "Four big hits out of six" - here it comes, two big slaggings for some balance - but no. "The other two worked well too"! A more brazen attempt at a free graphic novel we've not seen this side of Proudhuff Villas.

Oh well, things are bound to improve with a visit from the good Doctor, Rich Evans of Colwyn Bay. Rich didn't always live here nor did he always flash his credentials - he used to be plain old 'Richard Evans of Merseyside' back in his Prog 1386 debut. He now has ten letters on The Beast database as well as the coveted 10,000th letter award. Time to claim the prize has now expired BTW and we took the unloved Slaine beanie up Ben Nevis instead.

Rich blocks up almost all of the centre column of the page with a long ramble that starts with 'We're not worthy' which was funny about 20 years ago. He too loves the Sci-Fi special and focuses on Simon Davis' work that he claims is "his best ever" guess those guys giving out the portrait awards will have to reconsider then! He then calls three strips "good bad and ugly" but won't say which is which - valuable creator feedback right there!

Phil Dixon of Worcestershire  fills up the small spot left over by Dr Why with a cry for more 'Outlier' - isn't there a rule against writers sending letters under a pseudonym? This is Phil's second letter following a Prog 1850 debut. He's still got some ground to cover to be 'The Big Dixon' as Tim is the runaway leader on 7- he was last seen in Prog 1232 however, so make hay while the sun shines, Phil.

Our only debutant next, with John McNeill of London breaking his duck. He's also the only 'McNeill' ever to score and matches his rivals the 'McNeil's who also boast a solitary score from Michael of Perth (the traitorous fish used to live here!) in Meg 87/V2.67.

John's letter is basis stuff and ruined by a typo "keep the edgy" - that used to mean 'keep a look out' but here it's nonsensical. Never mind, John's message is clear - keep the pretty pictures coming.

We close out with Ross Teagle who hits us for six with this offering. Ross first appeared in Meg 87/ V2.67 which was the same issue that featured in the paragraph above - what's the odds on that then! Ross has moved about from Bournemouth, to Poole to his current home of 'Email'. This is his second score of 2014 following his entry in the Dreddlines of M345. He's be on track for a top five finish for the year but we're not doing that anymore as ours have all been filed in the bin!

Ross' letter is another love in with 'Grey Area' being misnamed or something. Would he prefer 'Alien customs disputes of the future'? hmm that's gold. He's likes most stuff including the fine 'Traumatown' but is looking forward to the 'exposition' - does he mean 'conclusion' or is he suggesting the first few episodes lacked any narrative at all?

Right that's it. 5 letters and barely a naysayer amongst them - it's like they cloned Proudhuff and covered the page in honey. Where are the slaggings? The dissenters? Those that can't understand 'Indigo Prime' or those that think 'Grey Area' should fade to black. C'mon Tharg give us some balance!

[TordelBack]

Nothing wrong with some fan boy love but this is the letters page equivalent of rimming a tramp and paying him for the privilege.

I swear to Grud I am crying with laughter here.   

[Frank]

I was creased double on the couch and dropped the tablet twice as I was reading that tour de force. Buttonman's brush with death has seen him return with his powers increased sevenfold - like Christopher Walken in that film with the kid who falls through the ice. I'd be prepared to put up with fawning letters from Trout and Huff every week if it meant more KTT worthy material like that.

[Fungus]

Wow. This is where anonymity rules; if my gibbering childish letters to Tharg were ever traced by the NSA BM I don't want to see the results

[ZenArcade]

That is priceless, I'll have to get a letter published just to be a component part of a critique of the calibre set out above! Z

[Buttonman]

Cheers Fellas - always helps when it's a familiar face in the sights!

Wow. This is where anonymity rules; if my gibbering childish letters to Tharg were ever traced by the NSA BM I don't want to see the results

Hmmm, multiple letters? Paisley? You must be MICHAEL SELLAR, DAVID COCHRANE, GORDON MCLEAN or STEPHEN WATSON (unlikely).

[Fungus]

You are a witch.