Writing to Tharg 2012 - LETTERSENTERTAINYOU THE ROAD TO 10,000

[Frank]

Hmmm, multiple letters? Paisley? You must be MICHAEL SELLAR, DAVID COCHRANE, GORDON MCLEAN or STEPHEN WATSON (unlikely)

This is like one of those Dredd stories where Roffman helps identify the killers because of the meal they choose on their getaway flight or the tread on their car tyres. Actually, Buttonman reminds me of Roffman in many ways.

[Fungus]

Hmmm, multiple letters? Paisley? You must be MICHAEL SELLAR, DAVID COCHRANE, GORDON MCLEAN or STEPHEN WATSON (unlikely)

This is like one of those Dredd stories where Roffman helps identify the killers because of the meal they choose on their getaway flight or the tread on their car tyres. Actually, Buttonman reminds me of Roffman in many ways.

So anyway, BM's first choice is correct. If I had something heavy to hide, this would be EXCELLENT! *

* terrifying

[Trout]

Hmmm. I feel like I should review the review of my review. It seemed, to me, like a turd that wouldn't flush, keeping its Paisley-incarcerated creator, sweating and panicky, in an elderly aunt's downstairs loo while she politely taps on the door, inquiring after his welfare.

Part of journalistic integrity is knowing how to be objective. In this thread, Buttonman seems to think that people who have different opinions from him are simply wrong. That's not how it works. So his review is flawed, like a fake diamond hidden in the rectum of a desperate refugee with no hope of surviving in Broken Britain.

I also feel his review is poorly-punctuated and over-written, with puzzling paragraph choices and several examples of risky legal moves. Its desperation is visible in every word, as if the writer has chosen to attack the very letters he wishes he could emulate, if only Tharg had not banned him from the page for excessively masturbating through the Nerve Centre's letterbox.

- Trout

[Fungus]

if only Tharg had not banned him from the page for excessively masturbating through the Nerve Centre's letterbox.

Can we ever comprehend the alien mind? The fact that they permit any level of onanistic review shows how very different we are.

[Buttonman]

MICHAEL SELLAR was the long shot - two in Progs 269 and 299 and nothing since! You couldda been a contender!

Trout : The Beast thanks you for your lyrical feedback, apart from the low blow about punctuation. We, do our; best under (trying) circumstances~. Our copy has to reach the press 4 days before the Prog hits the newsstands for chrissakes!

[Trout]

HURR HURR. I just want to be like you!

[Proudhuff]

if only Tharg had not banned him from the page for excessively masturbating through the Nerve Centre's letterbox.

Can we ever comprehend the alien mind? The fact that they permit any level of onanistic review shows how very different we are.

an acc
excessively? does that mean there is an acceptable level?

[Link Prime]

Normal service has resumed.
And it's good!

[Proudhuff]

it's like they cloned Proudhuff and covered the page in honey.

That's the Memsabib's fantasy right there!

[Large48]

I'd forgotten how distracting this thread always was (and should continue to be!)

What was that about rimming a tramp again?

Thought I could taste deep fried Mars Bar............. 

[Tiplodocus]

Did I realy say that thing in the banner?  It's not normal that I'm so observant.

[Buttonman]

Sorry for the necro-post but I created this goodness for another thread and it should be accessible to all the letters archivists out there. This is correct as of 28/01/2015 (today).

[Proudhuff]

What no column for drawings in the nerve centre? 

[Link Prime]

Dear Powers-That-Be; please allow this hilarious thread to continue uncensored.

[Buttonman]

What no column for drawings in the nerve centre? 

You should be grateful that I allow £10 drawings as Letters of the Week (they match the Letter of the Week Prize) for if I didn't you'd have none. And deservedly so!