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Author Topic: 47 Ronin: Wait what?  (Read 1044 times)

CheechFU

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47 Ronin: Wait what?
« on: 27 December, 2013, 01:51:41 AM »
47 Ronin tells the true story of how a rainbow peace warrior and son of at least two human beings, one of whom was probably mostly partly asian, battled interdimensional space demons who may or may not have been pre renaisance scientologists from the future.
Keanu Reeves stars in this Keanu Reeves historically accurate Keanu Reeves vehicle and while he is most certainly not racist you are asked to squint slightly so he looks 6% asian while kicking all of the asses and saving china from future robot nazis.

The totally true story of the 47 Ronin is this:@
A sexy shape changing space witch trades freaky space sex with an actual asian in return for the total and utter enslavement of mankind in korea. This guy, captain kirk, is all like "fuck yea" but this other dude, one of the guys from daft punk, who is a totally righteous ass kicking olympic fencer isn't down with it and slaps him with a fork and immediately realises that this is totally bogus in the eyes of the International Olympic Committee and commits sepuku which, I have on good authority, is acually a pokemon.
Some time almost immediately afterwards 47 guys and keanu reeves turn up who happen to be that guy from daft punks employees and totally have contracts and have formed a union like the teachers union but real. As you can imagine, they are pretty mad as that guy from daft punk has the pay roll and tax information and stuff.
The 47 guys and keanu reeves spend the next 2 years preparing to take captain kirk to an industrial tribunal so that they can get their back pay, tax code and various other important things that they totally need from the guy and setting mongolia on the road to democracy.
And then they have soft tacos.

I give this movie 6 keanu reeves out of 5 keanu reeves on a 1-10 keanu reeves sliding scale of keanu reeves where 1 is keanu reeves and 10 is keanu reeves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyXkY3wgjSE

Bolt-01

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Re: 47 Ronin: Wait what?
« Reply #1 on: 27 December, 2013, 02:54:51 PM »
Note- don't post under the influence of mind altering Keanu Reeves.

CheechFU

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Re: 47 Ronin: Wait what?
« Reply #2 on: 27 December, 2013, 05:53:15 PM »
It's like if a movie was made about the charge of the light brigade which featured 600 cavalry and a time travelling cowboy from a future circus run by alien robots whose masters have long since died out and rather than being a movie about the charge of the light brigade it was about the cowboys subservience to an unfeeling machine god

COMMANDO FORCES

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Re: 47 Ronin: Wait what?
« Reply #3 on: 27 December, 2013, 06:01:38 PM »
Always check to see if there is another thread on the film before posting as well ;)

CheechFU

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Re: 47 Ronin: Wait what?
« Reply #4 on: 28 December, 2013, 03:30:12 PM »
Always check to see if there is another thread on the film before posting as well ;)
That thread must have been some other movie as it didn't feature an anime cowgirl embarking on a mystical quest to the sears catalogue.
Or tentacles.