Ninja Training, what's the problem?

paulvonscott · 11 February, 2003, 06:29:36 AM

I've been training ninja's for several months now, yet when I turned up today, all my ninjas were dead. What's going on? Any tips from other masters of evil?

Buddy · 11 February, 2003, 06:32:38 AM

Have you been feeding them?
I know this can happen with goldfish, you just kinda forget they're there.

paulvonscott · 11 February, 2003, 06:41:00 AM

No, this was more a sudden unexpected death as opposed to long lingering starvation. I don't want to buy any more till I know what the problem with these dudes was.

karne · 11 February, 2003, 06:45:36 AM

The only problem I've ever encountered in my many years of successful Ninja keeping, was when I went on holiday and asked a friend of mine who works at the BBC to look after them. I returned home looking forward to being mobbed by my "over-eager to see me" little Ninjas, only to find he had re-named them "Hero's".

As for your problem, did you remember to drill some air holes in their box?

W. R. Logan · 11 February, 2003, 08:14:47 AM

The national comic award voting form is up on the comics 2003 site so if you want your faves to stand a chance of winning an award then follow the link and place your votes.

In no way trying to influence your votes but isn't it time that Mike McMahon made the roll of honour?

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.

Link: http://www.comicfestival.co.uk/" target="_blank">National Comic Awards

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JamieB · 11 February, 2003, 02:09:59 PM

You need to keep your ninjas supervised at all times, lest they (a) set up a http://www.ninjaburger.com">burger franchise or (b) just http://www.realultimatepower.net>flip out and kill each other.

J-Bo-1

JamieB · 11 February, 2003, 02:11:34 PM

Hmm. Dunno what went wrong there. (b) was the possibility that they'd flip out and kill each other... see the link

J-Bo-1

Link: http://www.realultimatepower.net" target="_blank">http://www.realultimatepower.net

Art · 11 February, 2003, 02:32:26 PM

Check for Bruce Lee. He's a bastard for slaughtering invincible martrial arts armies.

almighty mat · 11 February, 2003, 03:02:20 PM

Were the ninjas intact, or was it just their uniforms with some foul smelling smoke wafting out? If the ninja's appear to be intact, they may have slipped into a Ninja Trance. The only way to tell is to burn the soles of their feet with lit cigarettes.

Be careful though, because this will affect their resale value when posting them on Ebay.

mat

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Queen Firey-Bou · 11 February, 2003, 03:49:29 PM

I have phone the ninja training abuse line, & the ninja social workers are on their way. as long as your training schedule conformed to EC ninja standard 125 (subsection c) & the instructors were fully AGNTR regonnised by the board of NG-PT (93) with an up to date accredited trn-176/5 certificate there shouldn't be too much problem. You did fill in the daily NGP forms didn't you? & leave the dead ninjas un touched until the NTDE flys over from NTDE HQ in brussels to inspect the evidence?

paulvonscott · 11 February, 2003, 04:06:01 PM

Look I don't know anything about forms, I bought them at a boot fair. I've done nothing wrong.

As for the problem at hand, I've checked thoroughly for Bruce Lees, and found nothing. A few weeks ago I found a dead Chuck Norris, but that didn't seem to bother them.

HOWEVER there has been some tampering with my island death base. There have been several hatches left open and a grappling hook found.

Other clues included a can of phosphorescent paint, a mask and some spooky footprints, but they could have been leftover from when I was a mystery investigation team enthusiast. Shame I flushed them, they could have come in useful.

They are definitely dead, I held a magnifying glass over severel of them at noon today. Not a 'whaeowww...' out of them.

Smiley · 11 February, 2003, 04:27:14 PM

Try checking the soles of their boots for "Made In Japan". If it says "Made In Taiwan" you've been done, mate.

JimBob · 11 February, 2003, 05:04:15 PM

Unfortunatly the Marvel Corporation flooded the market with cheap Ninjas in the 80s, every 3rd rate X-man was slaughtering dozens of them in one crap spin off title or another.
What I believe happened is that the wee fellas found out that Mark Millar and Shaky Kane were hired to produce Ultimate Ninja for Marvel and the ninjas committed ritual suicide to avoid the shame.

Matt Timson · 11 February, 2003, 05:10:49 PM

AAAAIIIII! MARKIE MILLAR!!! ALL DIE NOW!

paulvonscott · 11 February, 2003, 05:16:40 PM

Would it be possible for Grant Morrison to reinvent the concept of the ninja and use it as a the basis of a satirical attack upon the Bush/Blair alliance?

On second thoughts...