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Author Topic: The Black Dog Thread  (Read 44711 times)

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #375 on: 18 June, 2019, 05:57:18 pm »
Thanks, Huffy - I did write a Dredd script but it's dire. Still, at least it's words on a page, which is something.

My best to you, Hawkie - I'm sure you'll get through it, especially with the support of your fellow Squaxx.


Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #376 on: 18 June, 2019, 08:44:46 pm »
Don't beat yourself up, there's a world out there trying to do that.

I like that one, thank you.

Hawkmumbler

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #377 on: 19 June, 2019, 12:43:13 am »
Thanks guys, it’s a rough time right now and I don’t feel completely in control. I’ve been musing if there’s a connection between the systematic programming of ‘Higher Education = Happiness’ in schools under the Blairites in schools during the early 2000’s is linked to the chronic anxiety, depression, general dependency on having to constantly have a clear direction or else your a failure mindset.

It’s like i’ve never known a time where I wasn’t working towards some kind of qualification and for all the good I believe it will bring me in future, in the short term ‘cramming’ culture has only brought me misery.

MacabreMagpie

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #378 on: 25 June, 2019, 08:30:05 pm »
This year has been a bit rough, for the last couple of months at least. I can just about manage my mental health when it's low but one unfortunate outcome is I seem to be isolating myself more than I ever have before.... I have lots of friends, luckily, but I've had no desire to be social or even meetup with anyone for a long time now.

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #379 on: 08 July, 2019, 05:03:05 pm »
Sorry to hear that. Maybe you should start looking for professional help? There are good ones out there, particularly the CBT ones in my limited experience.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

SmallBlueThing(Reborn)

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #380 on: 23 July, 2019, 03:53:42 pm »
I've had a few rough years, and this year has been the roughest I can remember. I'm not sure I have the strength to go any further to be honest. I think, after many close calls, I'm just about at the end of the line.
I had hoped that certain medical issues being resolved would enable me to turn a corner. However, while that's certainly been the case in regards to part of it, I've managed to push a certain person so far out of my life that they no longer give a toss about me. I can't cope with that and have no skills to draw upon with which to handle it.
My best plan (the only one that doesn't involve the obvious solution that we don't like to name in case we appear needy or drama queeny) is to cut all ties with everybody and everything, burn all my bridges and physically move far away from the people I know, to "start again". So I reckon that's what I will do, whether immediately or after the next eight months of living hell that I am contractually obliged to live through. I have no idea what my mood/ mental health will be like come next March, but it's spiralling downward every day at present and I'm not holding out for a last minute reprieve.
As far as meds/ cbt/ lifestyle changes go- I've done them all, continue to do them all, and none help one iota. 
Seriously considering developing an addiction just to allow myself a few months of much-needed escape from reality. Life cannot possibly be any worse.
SBT

Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #381 on: 23 July, 2019, 04:04:06 pm »
You may not have the skills pal but there may be someone round here that has some idea.

I think a lot of us get the frustration that the endless round of strategies being touted as a golden solution that don't quite turn out the way we'd hoped generates.  Maybe the fresh start is the right idea.  Maybe it is possible to achieve a fresh start where you are.  Maybe you haven't fucked up that relationship is badly as you think.

Don't do anything rash pal.  Support is here if you want it.  We may be crap at advice and about as politically correct as Boris Johnson but we'll at least give you a hearing if you need it / want it.

Dandontdare

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #382 on: 23 July, 2019, 04:30:05 pm »
Regarding the person you have estranged - don't give up hope or cut ties, people and attitudes do change over time; and I'd advise that whilst you may have accepted that they don't want anything to do with you right now, make sure they're aware that the door is always open to future reconciliation. (My brother is currently in bits because his eldest son has cut off all contact and he never sees his granddaughter, but he is taking pains not to try to argue him round and make things worse, just leave the door open)

I'd avoid any rash bridge-burning actions.

Best of luck mate!

Robin Low

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #383 on: 23 July, 2019, 07:16:37 pm »
I did write a Dredd script but it's dire.

Are you sure it is? It's all too easy to think something's rubbish and abandon it too soon - that's my usual trick. But you go back to it in a month or so and you may find it isn't as bad as you thought. Or it's fixable. Or reading it afresh triggers a new idea or a different way of doing it.

Just getting something down on paper is a significant achievement, so be proud of that.

Regards,

Robin

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #384 on: 23 July, 2019, 09:37:10 pm »
I'm sorry to hear of what you've gone through and are going through, SBT.  I wish I had a way to help you but I don't.  All I can say is I really hope life gets better for you, and this thread is always here - it's not much, but the people here know what the black dog is like.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

TordelBack

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #385 on: 23 July, 2019, 09:56:14 pm »
Damn, SBT I know you've had it unbelievably rough these past years, but that's a heartbreaking situation. I'm the last one to give advice about seeking help, I hardly ever do it and never for any useful length of time, but maybe some kind of professional mediation might be worth a shot?  Addressing the relationship specifically, rather than any mental health issues, which you've obviously worked as hard as you can at.

Here I go talking about myself like the terrible listener I am, but I only suggest that it's worth a try because I'm pretty much estranged from one of my brothers for decades now, and I often wonder how much that influenced his decision to emigrate to Oz. While we can be fully civil when we have to, it still hurts like hell: I know it's one of the underlying causes/triggers of my chronic depression. I wish we'd tried every avenue to sort out our differences 30 years ago, instead of cutting each other off. I'd hate to think of you pursing the same course.

That said, I always keep the 'going far away and starting again' option firmly in mind when things seem at their absolute bleakest, as a viable alternative to the other thing.  Never, ever the other thing.  So I hear you on that score.

Funt Solo

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #386 on: 23 July, 2019, 10:11:56 pm »
Sorry for your troubles, SBT.  I don't have anything helpful to say, I'm afraid: sometimes life throws us curve-balls and there just doesn't seem like a good way of dealing with them. 
fate amenable to change

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #387 on: 25 July, 2019, 07:06:40 pm »

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, SBT, and I could tell you what I'd do or have done but I doubt that'll help because I'm weird. Us Black Doggers are all here for you, though, and while none of us can fully understand your specific situation, I think we can all empathise.

We're here for you and, hopefully, that'll be enough. Please, please, don't suffer the darkness on your own. Come to us whenever you need - because we love you.

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Robin - thanks, Mate. I'm still struggling but my mojo seems to be reviving a bit.


DrJomster

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #388 on: 25 July, 2019, 08:24:18 pm »
Really sorry to hear things are tough SBT. I know you’ve said you’ve done all the lifestyle changes but can I double check on two?

Getting a dog has been really helpful for some people. Great for companionship and getting you out and about to walk them. Amazingly good for playing Fetch with too!

The other thing is regular exercise, maybe to your favourite music, radio station or podcast. Takes you away from things. Walking, jogging whatever, just quite a lot of it and regularly.

Hope you feel better soon.
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Woolly

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #389 on: 25 July, 2019, 09:30:34 pm »
I can't add much that hasn't already been said, but...
Avoid burning bridges - I honestly don't recommend it.
Talk to a professional - start with your GP. They'll probably want to talk other meds, but one-on-one counseling is maybe going to be a better choice for you.

Finally, remember that you're one of us. Some of us may post more often than others, some of us may give better advice than others, but you're one of us.

We're here, we're like you, and if it comes down to it we'll organise a meet up, a pint, and a group hug. Just don't give in to this shit.