The Black Dog Thread

[JayzusB.Christ]

Hard-won resolution to take action led to frustrating and unproductive engagement with my GP which so far has amounted to an exercise in appointment-making

Doesn't sound too helpful.  Maybe you need a new GP?  The last guy who prescribed my Lexapro was very understanding.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

One thing that might help others is how to deal with "dark thoughts." I used to get these a lot - you know the kind of thing, imagining punching someone or hurting yourself - and then worrying about them for ages after. I realised they're just random thoughts, everyone has them. Now I just shrug and say to myself, "it's just a thought, it doesn't mean anything," and let it go. I own my thoughts, or try to. Appreciate the "good" ones and cast the "bad" ones aside.

An old friend of mine who was forever locked in a battle with the dark mutt once told me the phrase "a thoughtie isn't a naughty" - which is as weirdly illogical and cheesy as it is bizarrely unforgettable and quite comforting. Your bad thoughts can't hurt other people - only yourself and nor can they drive you to do things. Therefore attaching guilt or anxiety to them - when they're ephemeral things that never solidify - is a pointless exercise.

In terms of hard-won resolution turning to frustration - don't let that determination ebb away when the solutions aren't immediately forthcoming TB. More than likely what'll help you won't take the form you were envisioning in the first place!

Glad CBT did the job for you DD - it sets you up for the longer game by making you break apart negative things as they're occurring and not letting them grow in you. Someone once said that thought patterns are like unofficial footpaths forged into grassy fields, and you'll naturally follow the most indented route. The more you trudge along the negative path, the more permanent it becomes. You are surrounded by grass, and new trails can always be made. (Insert pretense-shattering oops-there's-the-farmer-you're-trespassing reference here)

[Hawkmumbler]

I had a rather peculiar feeling this morning, and it cast something of a shadow over my day. It's been 3 years to the day since I quite college. Most of my friends are in their final year of uni, and i'm still just kind of bumming about trying to decide what to do with my life. I mean, I recently got into a job I enjoy even if it is a simple bar job, i'm studdying through the OU for a career I enjoy, I just got back off a fantastic diving weekend. I'm happy.

So why is it I still regret not working hard enough at college? Why do I still regret packing in the towel despite all the health issues it was causing me? Why do I feel so old despite only being 20 and well within my pervue not knowing what I should do with the rest of my life? After thinking all this I just kind of felt...empty. And very tired.

Like I forgot what the point to any of it was. And that scarred me a little.

[Dark Jimbo]

I had a rather peculiar feeling this morning, and it cast something of a shadow over my day. It's been 3 years to the day since I quite college. Most of my friends are in their final year of uni, and i'm still just kind of bumming about trying to decide what to do with my life.

Take it from someone who has been to Uni, Hawk - 80% of those folks still don't know what they want to do with their lives either, they were just trying to put off the real world for another three years.

A few people from my course went straight on to higher education (Masters degrees, etc); everyone else started suffering that same overwhelming, existential panic (that 'Oh shit, what now?!' feeling) as the third year crawled inexorably towards its end.

[The Legendary Shark]

Maybe because of unreasonable top-down societal pressure. You know, all those parasites in the upper echelons who call you a failure because you don't have the "qualifications" to pay them oodles of tax money. Screw 'em. It's your life, live it your way - not theirs.

Never forget that you are a being of infinite worth and potential. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

[Dark Jimbo]

I think it's as simple and primal as fear of the unknown - at certain moments in life you're aware of a yawning mist-filled chasm suddenly opening beneath your feet labelled 'the future'. It's one whopping great mystery and you're about to fall straight into it. Who wouldn't panic just a bit?

[Tjm86]

One thing that might help others is how to deal with "dark thoughts." I used to get these a lot - you know the kind of thing, imagining punching someone or hurting yourself - and then worrying about them for ages after. I realised they're just random thoughts, everyone has them. Now I just shrug and say to myself, "it's just a thought, it doesn't mean anything," and let it go. I own my thoughts, or try to. Appreciate the "good" ones and cast the "bad" ones aside.

An old friend of mine who was forever locked in a battle with the dark mutt once told me the phrase "a thoughtie isn't a naughty" - which is as weirdly illogical and cheesy as it is bizarrely unforgettable and quite comforting. Your bad thoughts can't hurt other people - only yourself and nor can they drive you to do things. Therefore attaching guilt or anxiety to them - when they're ephemeral things that never solidify - is a pointless exercise.

In terms of hard-won resolution turning to frustration - don't let that determination ebb away when the solutions aren't immediately forthcoming TB. More than likely what'll help you won't take the form you were envisioning in the first place!

Glad CBT did the job for you DD - it sets you up for the longer game by making you break apart negative things as they're occurring and not letting them grow in you. Someone once said that thought patterns are like unofficial footpaths forged into grassy fields, and you'll naturally follow the most indented route. The more you trudge along the negative path, the more permanent it becomes. You are surrounded by grass, and new trails can always be made. (Insert pretense-shattering oops-there's-the-farmer-you're-trespassing reference here)

I'd back this 100%.  I think the most pernicious aspect of the hound is the guilt and anger that is connected with how we end up thinking about our thinking.  Getting angry and frustrated with ourselves is way too easy and ultimately counterproductive.  The best strategy I've come across is the defusion technique of 'radio angry' or 'the old black memory show'.  Every time I catch one of those thoughts or memories I run the stupid presenter voice.  It shifts the thought or memory into a silly perspective and helps it lose its power.  Sounds really stupid but is I find it incredibly effective.  Still have the thoughts / memories but don't fuse with them so much any more or for as long.

[Hawkmumbler]

The Black Dog made an unwelcome visit again this week. I've been all too aware recently if my disintegrating social life. Work leaves me so emotionally exhausted that I hardly leave the house, and all my close friend have been out of touch for some time now. Added to that...I'm just incredibly lonely. I'm surrounded by people but at the same time feel like I'm completely isolated. Most of my dive buddies are at least twice my age and lovely as they are the age bracket shows. I've even considered looking at shared accommodation just to alleviate it a little. I like doing things alone, but it's starting to get to the point where I'm shutting myself off from everyone else, and I can't let myself do that.

[The Legendary Shark]

Sorry to hear that, Hawkie. At least you've got us - which is less than ideal, I know, but better than nothing. Have a look in the local paper, maybe, and see if there are any clubs or something you fancy having a go at. Reading circles, rambling clubs or whatever. Try something new, meet new people. Just a suggestion. Chin up, fella, and I hope things improve for you soon.

[Hawkmumbler]

Yes, thank you Sharky. This place is honestly a massive godsend, easily the most laid back forum I've ever been a member of, and a member of...5 years*? Jeez, I feel old.

*The next one would be a cult cinema forum for two years. Jumped ship when one mid went crazy and started handing suspensions out like candy.

[The Legendary Shark]

Feckoff candy? Bandy?

[auxlen]

Advice that I can't follow but is the best advice i can give to anyone suffering.  'DON't SELF MEDICATE"
GIVE IT ALL UP!!!!

[The Legendary Shark]

Agree with that. Haven't had a joint since last October/November(ish) and feel miles better for it. I don't drink* due to my job, so that's also good.
.
*I'm not tee-total, sometimes I'll have a drink with friends but very rarely.

[Dandontdare]

I don't have much choice - I've just been diagnosed with angina so will have to give up my beloved pipe and cut down the beer. I'm worried that this will lead to depression and/or stress. I do find myself getting stressed and irritable whenever I take a break from the weed - with it, I can look at the world's shittiness with mellow bemusement, rather than  getting mightily  wound up by it all. I gave up alcohol completely for a few years after a bout of acute pancreatitis in 2001 and got pretty depressed after that. It was such a joy when I could start again!

I can't complain - I've had decades of good food, beer, fags and drugs, and had an absolute ball, so if I now need to pay the piper and get healthier, it's only fair

[The Legendary Shark]

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis, DDD, be well, okay? I need people of your calibre shouting at me on various threads hereabouts!