Against the Wishes of My Older Brother....

[ThryllSeekyr]

What a  lovely story of mild casual harassment that was, TS. Given you only saw the girl as a sexual object as you describe her here, and you have no ability to project what might be happening in other peoples' minds, I wonder if she really felt you were just being  as 'polite' and 'friendly' as you think.

As for the transsexuals thing, if people repeatedly tell you that they're offended by a term you use for them, maybe you should stop using it. It's not for you to decide that it's not that offensive, and then only make things worse by deciding the fault must lie with them, not you.

Well, trying to imagine why she started talking and then thinking I don't usually attract this type of attention from a girl, and thinking her motivation might not be her own. Maybe she was put up to it.....have you heard the expression - Jail-bait.

She was young looking, I doubt she was still in her teens. Maybe anywhere from 20 - 25 years old. Which is technically not wrong for me to pursue, as I was. Maybe it just doesn't look right to people. Anywhere all the stuff that you perceive as dirty never happened, it's all in our minds. That was just retrospective.

This is something I should be doing, went any of you young ever young. Don't any of wish I spent less time here to pursue more young women.

[sheridan]

Apologies, if you think I'm trolling, by airing my grievances, but the sooner they realise they're
just playing god with words, over words & let people relax their use of words they think are normal through their everyday use are okay, the better. If they are gonna cry over a word like the ones I shared above, they deserve to loss social status & any other ground their majority has gained. (Using the word, because I think there are a lot of them!)

People who transition go through a lot of discrimination, just one type of which is the type of language you've used there.  One friend of mine 'cried over words' like that, and lost much more than social status.  RIP Zoe.

[Old Tankie]

Please stop digging.

[ThryllSeekyr]

Apologies, if you think I'm trolling, by airing my grievances, but the sooner they realise they're
just playing god with words, over words & let people relax their use of words they think are normal through their everyday use are okay, the better. If they are gonna cry over a word like the ones I shared above, they deserve to loss social status & any other ground their majority has gained. (Using the word, because I think there are a lot of them!)

People who transition go through a lot of discrimination, just one type of which is the type of language you've used there.  One friend of mine 'cried over words' like that, and lost much more than social status.  RIP Zoe.

My condolences about your friend whomever they may be, but I don't call them names intentionally or out of spite, but I just think being made to feel small when I have to tip-around these people whom, I feel are playing with words. Now after some more thought. I guess even the word She may be have it's own history of being improper since my mother always use to reply to me when I used it (When talking of girl or lady!) with She's the Cat's Mother....

I only just remembered that this afternoon.

I guess, that gives any word derived from that one a little less respect. Otherwise, all this offence taken from it is bit silly especially when disrespect is unintended.

[Hawkmumbler]

"When no disrespect is intended"

You seriously have no idea what LGBT+ and ethnic minorities have had to go through these last 40-nay-since freaking Roman times, do you Mayor?

[Ghost MacRoth]

Please stop digging.

Highly unlikely. One must be aware of the shovel first.

[GordonR]

Otherwise, all this offence taken from it is bit silly especially when disrespect is unintended

And there you go again. It doesn't matter if no disrespect is intended. Disrespect and offence are being caused. The people you've offended keep on telling you they're offended by your choice of language, but you think it doesn't matter because you don't mean to be offensive.

Not so long ago, I think you got (yet another) warning here, this time for use of racist language - the word 'wog'. At the time, you said it was okay for you to use that word because you "we're not using it hatefully". 

But you were still using it to describe the ethnicity of the person you were talking about. Do you really not understand that you can't get away with using the kind of words you seem to enjoy using just by claiming that you're not using them negatively, when they're completely negative/demeaning words to start with?

[Ghost MacRoth]

Not sure how he used it before Gordon, but to be fair, it does have a significantly different meaning in Oz.  When I first heard it used, I thought, 'Oh, now you can't say that!!', and asked my Australian friends why no-one had seemed to bother about it.  Seems it's a colloquial term for 'Mediterraneans' rather than blacks, and it is used by many Mediterraneans (Greek, Italian, Spanish, etc) themselves as a term much like you or I would refer to ourselves as 'Scots'.  That said....I guess when in international environments like the interwebz, one must be a little more careful with the choice of words one uses, and just how much of ones internal monologue should be shared.  I'd say 'less' would be a good thing on occasion.

[TordelBack]

While in no way disagreeing with the sentiments expressed here, I think we could take note of the fact that TS has issues of his own (like many - all?- here) and perhaps temper our own reactions accordingly.  I do think Ghost McRoth makes an important point about the problems of sharing an internal monologue, which is definitely what we're reading here.

We're all learning about this world daily, and part of that is understanding how to interact respectfully with our fellows. But it's not always an easy series of adjustments to make.  I look at things I thought, said and did 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago, yesterday, and am horrified.  I'd hope I'm a better person now, but I'd be willing to bet that should I live another decade or two, the hard-won attitudes thst today's me holds and expresses will disgust me just as much. 

So by all means continue to comment, criticise and try to instruct, but don't be too hard on those of us that fall short. As long as we're trying to improve.

[Hawkmumbler]

I agree Tordels, however I would have hoped that a chap of Mayors....as you said, vintage, would have at least been aware of the plight Transgender folk suffer in a daily basis and could really do without this kind of BS.

Theirs a reason the term "Cishit" has come into favour amongst LGBT+ individuals and Mayor is kind is displaying right now why I like to bat the phrase about.

[Spikes]

What a thread....

[Satanist]

I liked it better when I was a just a "breeder". Cishet is my new word for today so at least I got something out this.

[Hawkmumbler]

I liked it better when I was a just a "breeder". Cishet is my new word for today so at least I got something out this.

TBH, Satanist, it only really applies to cis folk who believe "She-Male" is not discriminatory. Or take pleasure in being transphobic nob heads.

[TordelBack]

Theirs a reason the term "Cishit" has come into favour amongst LGBT+ individuals and Mayor is kind is displaying right now why I like to bat the phrase about.

Great phrase it is too! I think awareness is the thing here. If you're mainly aware of a 'group' through the objectifying lens of porn, where difference from the 'norm' (in the sense of the modal experience) is presented as a menu for the consumer to inspect, exploit and dismiss, it's hard to form a rounded theory-of-mind about individuals who appear to identify with such a group. From the evidence in this thread, we can see 'young women' suffer a similar reduction of this type as transgendered folk.  Why would an item on the menu object to being described in a particular way, as long as it made it clear to the diner whether it was to their taste or not? After all, in porn women encountered at busstops can generally be relied upon to go for a quick tumble, and if not, why not?

It sounds obvious that 'other people are people too', and thus just as complex and sensitive and wilfull as one's self  but it often isn't, and having lived for a decent while is no guarantee of acquiring this awareness. 

[TordelBack]

Bah, I meant to conclude: learning about and working out all this stuff is work - you have to put the effort in, it shouldn't be relied upon to come naturally or flawlessly. But making that effort, forcing yourself to try to be aware of the thoughts of those around you is one of the largest part of being a decent human being. But you also have to be aware of that first.