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Author Topic: The Letters Beast - Online!  (Read 18892 times)

IndigoPrime

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #105 on: 11 March, 2020, 11:06:42 AM »
To clarify, it was volume 4 of the Duane Swierczynski run. It wasn’t one of the decent books Smith penned or the oddball Ewing capers.

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #106 on: 05 May, 2020, 07:23:08 PM »

Annnd we’re back. Apologies for our caption there - the work experience boy was told not to give the text to the animator whilst wearing his anti-viral mask. Still we’re all keeping well - to be fair we at the Letters Beast have been practising social distancing for a long time before it became fashionable.

It’s been nearly 2 months since we last spoke with the last letters event appearing way back in Prog 2172. These are trying times of course but that’s no excuse. Maybe Tharg got confused about viruses and shut down both his computer and letter box?

Anyway we have a full roster of six letters in Prog 2180 fro the old and the new so let’s dive in…

First up is middle distance runner from the 80’s Peter Elliott of Waterlooville - like the tash.


There have been five Elliotts to grace the Beast with none coming back for a second visit. Our favourite is Sinclair Elliott whose ‘Judge Kylie’ graced Prog 593. Peter is from Waterlooville which is a market town in Hampshire, near Portsmouth. Peter can claim to be the third person with a letter from this town following in the footsteps of the wonderfully named Troy Doyle (Meg 110/V3.7) and Evan Brice (Prog 871). Who’s got too much time on his hands?! Not this blog!

Peter has been reading the Prog since the halcyon days of September 2019 and he’s loving it. His letter does predate the return of ‘Sinister Dexter’ however, so that may change. It’s a jolly, upbeat offering and possibly worthy of  the ‘Letter of the Week’ laurels, in these dark days. Possibly, but not really.

Gee Whiz - next up it’s old hand Gareth Gee of Beeston who makes a bee line for the first column of the page.


Gareth gets his 11th score here and its his 10th in the Prog. He first appeared in Prog 470 in 1986 and his career, and it is a career, has seen two ‘Letters of the Week’. This score sees him up to 31st on the all time scorers list, and he once lived in Radford where ‘Rok of the Reds’ comes from.


Gareth gives a positive overview of all Tharg’s offerings including the Cor!! Special which we though was a bit juvenile. We prefer ‘Krazy’. His letter is enthusiastic and as ‘Tharg bait’ it certainly did its job.

Another new man next in the shape of Ian James of Shrewsbury. Despite an uncommon sounding name Ian is the first of his kind to see print although we did get Ian Barrs-James of India in Prog 352 and Eon James of Leicester in Prog 987.

Ian’s is a small but perfectly formed missive that thanks Tharg for his efforts. Fair play and he says ‘Wow’ regarding Hershey. He doesn’t expand so whether he’s talking about her sad death or her rather sudden resurrection; we’re not clear. Wonder how he’ll take her now that she’s two limbs down?

Tipping point letter award goes to Richard Hall of Sheffield.


Almost interestingly this is the 100th letter to come from Sheffield across all of The Beast’s 10,561 entries. The man who works the filters is off, so we can’t tell you who has the most but it isn’t Richard, as this is his first. Unless there is a 100 way tie, obviously.

Richard has got his priorities all wrong and simpers on about babies and neglecting his Prog reading duties - come on man, get a grip! He gives a blast from the recent past and happily Tharg doesn’t go on about thrill receptors ,oh wait he does. At least he doesn’t say things may explode, which never happens with a magazine apart from this Razzle we once found in a hedge…

Old hand Steve Frame of Caithness next with his second of the year (Prog 2165) and 31st overall.


This takes Steve into fourth spot on the all time list - on his own! Eat that 30 letters/5th place Richard Kavanagh. Steve was first sighted in 2004’s Prog 1411 and has a league topping 8 Letters of the week.

Steve flashes his credentials by revealing that he’s read a book - and it isn’t even a ‘Garfield’ one! The Brainiac talks about stuff before giving ‘Sinister Dexter’ a well place boot in the jaffers. Tharg rises above this and refuses to acknowledge the comment in favour of bigging up ‘Survival Geeks’, which is nice of him.

We close with Chris Browning of Todmorden which gives us the chance to use our ‘Browning Version’ line. We haven’t read it but Greta Scacchi was in the film. Lovely, but nothing for the lads in that one - sorry lads.


Todmorden has only a quarter of the population of Waterlooville but also has three heralded scribes in its hall of fame. Step forward Christopher Gill (Prog 469) and Marcus Ward who gave us his ‘Thrill Spasm’ in Prog 525 - I hope he cleaned up after himself.

This is Chris' 14th letter which takes him to the giddy heights of 23rd = on the Beast all time list. He was last seen in Prog 2165, an epic that also saw Steve Frame's entry as noted above!

Chris lauds a Dredd story for being ‘prescient’ - Ah knooo he was gonna say that! Actually Gareth Gee used ‘prescient’ too - if only someone could have foreseen this! Anyway it’s a decent closer but lacking the chuckle we like from the last letter on the page. Like the ‘funny’ bit at the end of the news:

 ‘And finally…there is no cure - Good night!’.
« Last Edit: 05 May, 2020, 07:28:05 PM by Buttonman »

Colin YNWA

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #107 on: 05 May, 2020, 08:01:23 PM »
I have literally no idea why I was so impressed with the Peter Elliot reference... but I was... the rest was tosh of course but that reference and accompanying picture was aces.

Dandontdare

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #108 on: 06 May, 2020, 01:32:14 AM »
oooh, get you letters man with your fancypants '90s-level google image graphics! Somebody's got too much time on their hands.

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #109 on: 06 May, 2020, 07:45:20 AM »
oooh, get you letters man with your fancypants '90s-level google image graphics! Somebody's got too much time on their hands.
[/sup]

Guilty.

sheridan

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #110 on: 06 May, 2020, 12:51:02 PM »
Chris lauds a Dredd story for being ‘prescient’ - Ah knooo he was gonna say that! Actually Gareth Gee used ‘prescient’ too - if only someone could have foreseen this!


It's the double-whammy!

Proudhuff

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #111 on: 06 May, 2020, 05:31:44 PM »
Matron! Give my my crayons back now! This has gone on too long!
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #112 on: 08 May, 2020, 02:00:53 PM »
Matron! Give my my crayons back now! This has gone on too long!

Yes, your seemingly inexorable fall down the charts must be a cause for concern...



Strange that despite covering 37 scribes not one lady has made the list! Wonder why?!

Richard

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #113 on: 08 May, 2020, 05:11:15 PM »
El Sloano in 19th place has written the same number of letters as the two people in joint 20th place.

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #114 on: 09 May, 2020, 06:56:16 PM »
El Sloano in 19th place has written the same number of letters as the two people in joint 20th place.

The deliberate 'Persian flaw' inserted into the table has served its purpose - proof that someone actually reads this!

Proudhuff

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #115 on: 13 May, 2020, 03:45:02 PM »
  :lol: :lol: :lol:
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed