Travelogue

[Generally Contrary]

A few weeks ago I began a period of exile to the Orient, fleeing after a foiled poison-plot on Queen Bou's life in the chatroom went horrendously wrong.  Some had presumed me dead, but no, the World Weekly News was quite right; I was shopping with Elvis.

I promised a travelogue, but there is really quite little to say.  So I'll begin close to the end, that way this will be over all the quicker.

Boarding the flight back to Blighty was most informative.  SARS?  Yes, I was aware of its deadly presence, but while I was in Hong Kong I was blissfully unaware that I had been living in a CITY IN PANIC!  As we climbed into the skies above southern China the reality of the situation was brought home to me by a variety of London-based papers - Hong Kong was a city living in fear, a vast quarantine ward where disease lurks on every lift-button and toilet street.  And these reports were days old.  Imagine what the situation must be like now.  I looked down, but we were already hundreds of miles away and thousands of feet up.

I must give credit to the people of Hong Kong.  These people in panic are calm, patient and polite.  Gripped by fear they seem unconcerned, taking sensible and partical precautions without breaking into their lives unduly.  I long to go back when this threat-to-all-mankind has been defeated.  For surely they must be the most tranquil and rational of people.

Masks?  Yes, some wear them, though the proportion of people varies irregularly.  I would have liked to study this variation, noting maskees by age, sex, economic and educational status and the contents of the day's media.  But, alas, 15 days were not enough time.  The ineffective nature of the masks had begun to be common knowledge, as there was little evidence for airborne transmission.  Hand washing became an activity of prodigious regularity, a surer defence against this virus and its method of transmission.  I wonder how the rates of food poisoning and like changed over this time.

But enough about SARS.  As the plane crossed the Urals we hit a patch of plane-jolting turbulence.  Fears of a violent airborne death raced to the front of my mind, but were soon subsumed.  The man behind me was coughing.

[Richmond Clements]

Sounds like fun...

Can you still get knock off watches?

[Queen Firey-Bou]

yeah yeah contrary.... then wha happened?

glad you survived the ricin attack really, i mean people have to be taught a lesson, but this queen doesnt really relish the killing thing...much... depending...

so tell us more...

[DavidXBrunt]

Did you get Tecwan Whittocks autograph?

Heh, that reference is getting old fast.

[Generally Contrary]

Food in Hong Kong is fantastic.  It id not surprise my well-travelled culinary sensibilities to find that it is very different from its exported renditions found in the UK.  Chopsticks, though, were another matter entirely.  After being humiliated by Contrary Snr. on the first evening, requesting a fork for his idiot son, I resolved to learn how to use chopsticks.  It was, as I'm sure many of you know, surprisingly simple.  The main obstacle was a perception of difficulty.
While I would skip the jellyfish next time round (rubbery and tasteless), I wouldn't hesitate to suck the meat from a chicken's foot once more.  The seafood was tremendous, and when I say that it really is.  I normally detest seafood, particularly the wriggly little things whose former existence as a living thing cannot be easily disguised.  Now I say, roll on fruits of the (South China) sea.
However, I did feel guilty nipping into McDonald's for a bite on one occasion.  Not surprisingly, it was here that I felt most at risk from SARS and food poisoning and whatever.  Damn that globalisation.