on blizzards, power cuts & the apocolypse

[Queen Firey-Bou]

well i has a little reminder today about the perilously fragile nature of our modern lives. the power was off all night & morn, due to blizzards. having previously lived in low tech bothies, this never bothered me as we cooked on the open fire etc.. but i realised..huddling the dog pack closer for warmth... that a whole day with out power, wouldve left my workaholism fecked; no computer, no machinery to make things, no petrol pumps to fill the car( or clear roads ) to go out & about... ARGHHHHHH !  must buy a lap top immediately ! ! ! anyone got one for under ?100 ?


But thinking on this modern world, ive always figured i was somewhat of a ray mears, i can recycle yur average mammoth tusks into a nice pair of boots & build igloos from old tin cans etc etc etc.

 However theres some basic skills gaps i have, i'm not great at mechanics, so come the apocolyspse, who will convert a large truck to drive on mammoth juice for me?

i can build stoves outta old junk, but who knows how to rig up radio transmitters? solar panels to connect to the internet & communicate with other pockets of survivors?

a mate of mine is a gamekeeper, so he's rostered onto my tribe clan, as his sabre tooth tiger shooting & butchering skills will be handy. he's also built a metal work forge out of lorry parts & a hoover.. so he can get a nice high rank in the clan. ( cuteness & big motorbikes aside )

the fire brigade boys are all handy & 'knacky' at fixing & building, so they can join my tribe... tho' the wifes will have to be killed & eaten as their shopping habits are un-sustainable.

so my friends... come the ice age/ apocolyspse/ revolution / giant lemming invasion... have any of yous got any useful skills? or shall i kill you all & use your comic collections as fuel ?

[Woolly]

"However theres some basic skills gaps i have, i'm not great at mechanics, so come the apocolyspse, who will convert a large truck to drive on mammoth juice for me?"


You could always try the A-Team...

[Dudley]

I can build a fire and catch and skin a rabbit.  Since this was military training, they never bothered to teach how to actually cook the thing, but I've got a vague idea it's something to do with sticking yer rabbit on a stick and poking it at the fire.  Where you get herbs and stuff to make it taste nice, I have no idea.

Then again, I know that if there is a nuclear/environmental/Asian bird flu apocalypse that leaves me standing, I'm going to a) go to the cupboard and take out a full bottle of absinthe, b) go to the bathroom and grab every pill I can find, before c) consuming absinthe and pills together and jumping off the tallest structure left standing.

Surviving and propagating the human race?  Bugger that for a game of soldiers.

[Slippery PD]

Come the apocolypse, London would be first (if it was instigated by a man).  Take out London and the rest of the country would fall apart (the mains strands of goverment, legal and financial are all based there), so bascially anyone who lives in London.  Dont worry about it, youll all be dead in a couple of hours :)

Me Id bring some electrician skills, some DIY and some joke telling skills.  Either that or become a Doomsayer.  "yer all Dooooomed!!"

Yer Slips

[petemaskreplica]

I have an ability to make any old shite taste half-decent. And of course I could compose many ballads extolling the wisdom and bravery of my queen. In a post-apocalyptic world, the ability to shamelessly brown-nose the boss is a sure-fire survival tactic.

[Jared Katooie]

I'm the useless crazy guy who ends up killing everyone because they try and help him.

[judge dreddd]

thought about this...best thing is to avoid all population areas for as long as possible..that way you avoid the fighting

maybe ok to pop back in a few years for stealing stuff...night raid thing

get this book

Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0753703068/ref=sr_aps_books_1_2/026-3979021-3272469" target="_blank">how to survive by the sas

[judge dreddd]

steal motorcaravan and drive for the hills bou !

take a short-wave radio...wait it out !

Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0004723023/ref=pd_sim_b_dp_4/202-9701685-7980642" target="_blank">even cheaper...1.95 to survive !

[Jared Katooie]

He's trying to contact the mutants!

Die traitor!

[Dudley]

Anyone know the lyrics for "Apocalypso"?

[Woolly]

Come the apocalypse, I'll be sat underneath an upturned sofa, painting myself white to deflect the blast.


And eating tinned beans & sausages.

Whilst wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.

[Proudhuff]

>>..Come the apocolypse, London would be first (if it was instigated by a man). Take out London and the rest of the country would fall apart (the mains strands of goverment, legal and financial are all based there)

[Queen Firey-Bou]

Blimey Youre all such chickens, never mind the fear of the actual downfall of the world as we know it, i'm talking about the glorious golden era which follows it...

right so ive got a bard, a jester, coupla cooks & an electrical bloke, gee whizz not looking very mad max is it? think i better do that mechanics course myself.

Queen Bou, very disappointed in modern homo sapiens.

[judge dreddd]

golden era...mm...depends on cause of the apocalypse...nukes would mean loads of radiation and lots of usefull stuff in cities being wiped out

main problem would be collapse of law and order..it would be bou and gang in the castle for its defences me reckons...

btw..best defence against nukes is to run like bugger to some hilly place...natural shielding..far away from targets...secret uk defence plan was to shut the motorways, let civilians get nuked while army hide in the hills

[Matt Timson]

I have useful 'berserker fury' skills- but like Dudley, I'm not sure I could be arsed with it all.

Maybe I'd stick it out for a bit if The End came about during the Spring and Summer months- but I doubt I'd be fussed with 'berserking' in the winter.

I suppose it would really depend on if I had kids or not (although I have a wife now, so I'd probably have to make *some* kind of effort).