Anti - Valentines Day thread.

[Krustabi]

In 12 days time the most sickening day of the year comes around. This thread is for those who find the whole spectacle depressing/fake/a gross symbol of Western consumerist arrogance/just plain vucking annoying. Any thoughts?

P.S. This thread has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that I am unloved and (by all accounts) unloveable.Got that?

[GordonR]

A professional misanthrope writes:

No, I hate Valentine's Day too.  I also hate New Year, Mothers and Fathers Days, grudgingly tolerate Christmas and am none too fussed by birthdays, including my own.

[Dudley]

Someone find out when Gordon's birthday is...


Personally, I love Valentine's Day, Christmas, Grandmother's Day, National No-Smoking day and all the rest of them.  This may not be unconnected with the fact that my mother sells mass-produced greetings cards to shops, and as such the more you buy the richer we be.  Hah hah hah haaaaaarrrr!

...Dudley

[Jared Katooie]

I propose we rename it hate day. Top priority then becomes declaring your undying hatred of someone before presenting them with a bouquet of poisonous toadstools and a selection box of pickled frogs.

The mascot will be me wearing a bucket over my head and armed with a crossbow.


Jared "alone on valentines day" Katooie.

[Mr C]

I know that Coca-Cola invented Christmas and Nestle invented Easter, but who invented Valentines Day? Celebrations? Thorntons?

St Valentine was probably some mad old scote that lived in a cave and scourged himself thrice daily with prickley sticks (a sure sign of holiness), what has he got to do with all of the cards, candy, teddybears that say "I wuv you" and frilly figgin pink crap that gets shoved down young girls throats by the magazines (with Gareth Gates on the cover) that they are brainwashed into buying by barbie commercials? Eh?



Or is it just that I haven't had a card since the age of four?

[Krustabi]

We should declare a boycott on all shops that stock this crap.

Robinson "alone on every Valentines Day ever"Krusty-o

[Dunk!]

Valentines Day should be followed by Injunction Day ? where people can chastise overbearing lovers or their regular stalker ? who?s been give carte blanche to express undying love on the day such shows of affection are tolerated ? with a low cost 100 yard exclusion zone court order.

Don?t know who the patron saint of this day would be?

Ps Don?t like Valentines Day, but get loads of cards. Honest.

[Queen Firey-Bou]

Now i love all sorts of days, except this one...

ITs a big steaming pile of diarreahhh. I agree we should let the happy smoochy dribbling lovers have their moment of bogging w**ky 'don't really mean it' expensive cards & guilt trips, with their vucking teddy bears & glitter & red furry 'ooo how naughty' handcuffs & 'you'll be vucking lucky' silly pants... & their its supposed to be about love & passion & romance, but now its all pathetic childish innuendo & smut & they probably never get it up cos theyre too busy on the phone giggling about it with their mates anywey...

where was i? ah teddy vucking bears..vuckers, mother vuckers...vucking red-roses say i love you ? do that w**k, they say, i've no imagination & have co-dependency / dependancy issues & will you shag me please.

love is a form of mental illness.

erm... sorry keep going off there... ah yes ! can we singles have a day please ?

the "Ha Ha i can do what i want day"
or "look at me again slime-ball & you die day", traditional symbols can include all forms of weaponary, un-shackled ball & chains, empty cages & sisters doing it for themselves.


( tho i must admit i have met one or two couples who are allowed to be together & be as soppy as they like& deserve lurve, the rest of you are deluded & pathetic fools, who come the apocolypse, will be eaten  )

[Wils]

Don?t know who the patron saint of this day would be?
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[Krustabi]

There should be an hour set aside on the day when all singletons have the right to scream nasty stuff as loud as possible without fear of being sectioned.

I also think Futurama style suicide booths should be placed on the streets...

[Dudley]

"Singletons"?  "Singletons"????  Has this suddenly become Bridget Jones?

[Art]

It's funny how I love Valentines Day now I'm not bitter and single...

[Wils]

bitter and single

I think that's the key phrase here, isn't it? ;)

[Woolly]

Valentines day is great! And as long as you dont spend anything then you cant be fleeced!!

Of course, explaining the lack of presents to my girlfriend will be a bit more difficult...*

Wul

*('...' is copyrighted to Krustabi enterprises Ltd.)

[Krustabi]

"Krustabi enterprises Ltd."?

I assure you, none of my enterprises are limited...