:-)

[Satanist]

I did warn you!

[Woolly]

A lamp post and a piece of black tarmac are having a pint in the pub, when the bit of tarmac says
'Im the hardest bit of tarmac in this here pub! Im the hardest bit of tarmac in this entire bleedin town!'

Suddenly, a piece of red tarmac walks in and orders a pint. At the sight of this, the black tarmac starts shivering and sweating and runs off to hide in the toilets.
Later he sticks his head out to check that the red tarmac has gone, and sits back down at the table.
'What were you getting scared about?' says the lamppost,'i thought you said you were hard?'
'I might be hard,' says the tarmac, 'but HEs a fuckin cycle-path!'

[Oddboy]

Similarly, a Trebor Extra Strong Mint was picking a fight with a Chewit when a Tunes interveanes.

Discussing it later, Trebor explains that he had to do what the Tunes told him, 'cause he's menthol.

[thrillpowerseeker]

A blond, redhead and a brunette are in a lift when the brunette shrieks ''oh my god ,that looks like jizz running the wall''....the brunette moves up close and sniffs it and says ''yes thats definately jizzum''..the blonde then scoops a glob on her finger and puts it in her mouth and says...''nobody from this building''

[Huey]

Q: " What's yellow & smells of bananas?"
A: " Monkeysick."

Q: " What's green and sticky?"
A: "Monkeysnot."

[esoteric ed]

Considered by many as the biggest joke ever, yet not very amusing...


Edhttp://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004D08T.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg">

[esoteric ed]

;-)

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[rc]

Worse, in widescreen, you see more of it.

[Adrian Bamforth]

"We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed...But we're going back again in a couple of weeks!"http://www.aguainfant.com/frases/images/groucho.jpg">

[Woolly]

Q. Whats the difference between Pop Idol and a bucket of shit?

A. The bucket.

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF IRONY
 >> >> Jay Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to
grips with the concept of irony."It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in
London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a
face and said,"Great weather eh?"and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way
is it great weather". Fullmer then realised that the other man's
'mistake' was in fact deliberate. Fullmer, who is 39 next month and
married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use irony himself in
future."I'm, like, using it all the time" he said. "Last weekend I was
grilling steaks and I burned them and I said "Hey, great weather."

[House of Usher]

Ha Ha. Groucho Marx! He used to present a game show on American television, and apparently he once had a contestant on who had eight children.

Groucho says to the guy "you have eight children? how come you have eight children?"

The guy replies "because I love my wife".

Groucho replies "well, I love my cigar, but I take it out once in a while".

[Mikey]

Haw!Groucho ruled...

...A man's driving through the country,stops to admire the rolling hills.Sees in the field a pig with three legs,the farmer feeding it cake and buns.Man asks "How come yer pig's only got three legs?"
Farmer:"See that pig?That's a quare pig.One night a buncha fellas were trying to steal my tractor,he got out chased them away"
Man:"Oh, right enough?"
Farmer:"Aye.See that pig?One night the house went on fire.Pig got us out of bed,carried my son to safety"
Man:"Oh,is that how he lost a leg?"
Farmer:"No.See a pig like that?It'd be a shame to eat it all at once"

Ay thang yew!

M.

[Adrian Bamforth]

Heh, classic though no-one seems to know now whether he said it or not since it never made it to broadcast, and Groucho was contradictory on the matter, perhaps he didn't know himself. Later, when the show went from radio to TV he did however have a tamer version.

Link: http://www.snopes.com/common/video.gif" target="_blank">Uou Bet Your Life

[Tex Hex]

Who is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken....


Heres hoping the Reeve will one day walk again.
hex