Let's live life on the edge...

Al_Ewing · 04 May, 2004, 12:05:45 AM

It was at that moment that the glorious spirit of Christ entered Slaine's heart and his sins fell away.

Dudley · 04 May, 2004, 12:07:31 AM

"Yesssss!" moaned Slaine, enjoying Christ's entry more than he would have thought possible.

Max Kon · 04 May, 2004, 12:12:10 AM

'Oh Terry' he says. 'Lets get a cottage'

Floyd-the-k · 04 May, 2004, 04:56:31 AM

hours of gay sex later, Slaine and Terry were lying in each others arms, discussing the new Anglican liturgy. The phone rang
Slaine answered it by animal empathy, rather than picking the thing up
"hello" he murmured, watching Terry do his nails with `brianbiter` (Slaine had changed his axe`s name to commemorate a previous boyfriend)
"This is Niamh"
Terry flashed a jealous look at Slaine. Slaine reassured him "she probably just wants to borrow my book of common prayer"
"Slaine, I have a mission for you"
"I don`t work for the non-existent earth goddess any more Niamh"
"This is a real and completely non mystical job Slaine. Can you pop through the worm-hole to chat about it?"

Max Kon · 04 May, 2004, 05:00:02 AM

'but i've just been doing that for hours' he says

DavidXBrunt · 04 May, 2004, 05:36:50 AM

End of Book One.

Oddboy · 04 May, 2004, 06:16:05 AM

Prologue to Book II:

Far far away, a taxi pulled up outside a pub in the middle of Cornwall, and a Slaine's twin brother Finn got out.
Not looking where he was going, he accidently stepped in a large pile of dark-matter.

Floyd-the-k · 04 May, 2004, 09:44:34 AM

a watching Volgan sneered and stepped into the light to be revealed as....

Dudley · 04 May, 2004, 03:27:05 PM

An evil Earth goddess-worshipping opponent of fan fiction!

Trout · 04 May, 2004, 05:01:32 PM

The Volgan charged Finn with a breach of section three of the Road Traffic Act - careless driving - as it became clear he couldn't see a damn thing through that helmet.

- Trout

Oddboy · 04 May, 2004, 05:13:57 PM

Book II (actual, not prologue anymore)

Later.

Finn is held in a prison cell following his arrest by the Traffic Volgan.

Using some of the Dark-matter still squidged on his boot, he opens a worm hole in the side of the prison cell

Floyd-the-k · 04 May, 2004, 05:18:24 PM

Finn arrived in the Fortress of the ever-living ones. It was looking roomy, having been converted into a Methodist chapel by Ukko. Niamh was waiting for him, wearing sensible clothes and studying for her book-keeping test.
"Hi Finn, have some Earl Grey tea" she said warmly.

Oddboy · 04 May, 2004, 05:27:43 PM

"Oo! Thanks! Got any biccies?"

Trout · 04 May, 2004, 06:07:27 PM

However, with only Rich Tea on offer, Finn becomes enraged.

- Trout

Tu-plang · 04 May, 2004, 06:42:37 PM

"I'm all cross, now!" said Finn, rage milling through his heart. "And I shan't be calmed without crackers at least!"